


Behind The Scenes: The Things You Don't See

by xDnicki



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, Bottom Liam, Elounor, F/M, Famous Harry, Famous Liam, Famous Louis, Famous Niall, Famous Zayn, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Jealous Harry, M/M, Nosh, Self Harm, Top Zayn, bulimia niall, larry - Freeform, zerrie, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-11
Updated: 2014-02-25
Packaged: 2018-01-08 08:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 28
Words: 84,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1130574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xDnicki/pseuds/xDnicki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(or the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming)</p><p>You think you know everything that is going on behind the scenes of 1D?</p><p>Did you know that Louis and Harry always share a room? Probably<br/>Did you know Liam and Zayn disappear all of the sudden and then come back like they never were missing? Maybe<br/>Did you know Niall doesn't laugh 24/7? Of course, because he is human</p><p>Everything was fine until they get asked in an interview about Secrets, the boys have to bite their tounges because each one of them has got one that they would do anything for to keep it for themselves. But if you are stuck around with 4 of your best friends for 3 Months of touring the world, it's just a matter of time until one finds out and that can change your life for the better or for the worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> >>The beginning is boring, it's getting more interesting at chapter 7 when louis joins the boys back on tour>>
> 
> Summary of Chapter:
> 
> Card fight  
> Pool  
> Failed attempt to tease Zayn  
> Harry gets hurt.  
> "Oh for gods sake Niall"  
> 

Harry was on his computer in the shared hotel room, sitting on the unmade bed. His best friend, with whom he had shared the room with, was gone ever since Harry had woking up 2 hours ago and he wasn't feeling like getting up. They had an off day anyways, so he could relax and the others were probably still asleep or laying in bed just like him either.

Harry skipped through Twitter and RTed some fans to watch them freak out in capital letters. He smiled quietly to himself. He couldn't understand that girls and boys would cry or freak out because he would RT one of their tweets or follow them or tweet a short 'i love u too' back when they confessed their love to him.  
Really, he was just Harry. A boy with green eyes, curly hair and a goofy personality.

The hotel room door opened and Louis got in with a frown on his face. Harry hated to see him frown but at the same time he thought it was cute as the older boy's eyebrows got pulled together and his bottom lip was tucked forward a bit. Louis closed the door behind himself and let a loud sigh leave his mouth and locked eyes with his friend, on the bed.

Louis kept the eye contact as he was waiting for Harry to say something or do something, Harry knew what Louis was waiting for so he closed the laptop and sat it down infront of him on the bed before he looked back up and opened his arms for the older boy to welcome him in a cuddle. The small boy let a tiny smile cross his lips and walked over to the bed so he could cuddle into Harry's arms and nuzzle his head into Harry's bare chest.

"Where were you?" Harry started the conversation to get the information he needed to know why his best friend was frowning. "Was talking to Management, I wanted to know if I can get home for my Mom's birthday but they said no" He bit his lip to keep the tears inside which were welling up in his eyes.

Louis wasn't the crying person but the stress got too much lately, he was homesick and he felt like a cold was getting his way, so he was specially sentensive these days.

He and the boys hadn't seen their families in 4 months, so lately they walked in on each other at least twice a day catching a band mate with watering eyes while they were calling their Mom, Dad, Grandparents or any other relatives, to at least hear their voices on the line.

But luckily they had each other, once someone found the other, they shoved them into their arms without any words, without any judgement and just held them until they were feeling better. Sometimes those moments were five minutes but sometimes those moments took over days, especially when all five of them got depressed, due to all kinds of reasons and they had no one else to cheer them up.

The only thing they could do then, was getting curled up together while watching sad Disney Movies until they let some tears drop and feeling a little better at the thought that they will eventually see their families in three months once the tour was over.

Harry pulled Louis sideways into his lap so he could hold him closer to his chest. Louis curled up, pulling his legs in, so they were almost touching his own chest, and rested his head against Harry's.  
Harry's arms were going all the way around Louis to hold him together like he was about to fall apart and once he would, Harry could keep all the pieces together so they wouldn't get lost.

Harry pecked his friends hair "We can do a party for her though, while we skype her" Harry suggested while he watched Louis drying his cheeks from a couple tears that had slipped out. "Do you think the others would do that?" Louis asked quiet. "Of course, I'm pretty sure" Harry was confident in his words and petted Louis' hair.

Louis nodded and yawned and closed his eyes. Harry tightend the grip around his friend in his arms to give him the comfort he needed that Harry was not letting him go any time soon.

 

After Louis had woken up in Harry's arms, he was himself again and it was almost forgotten why he was so upset in the morning. Harry was quite happy that this was just a short phase of breakdown. He didn't want to sound selfish but he didn't want to spent his first day off, in eight days, with Louis' being in a heartbreaking mood, he wouldn't mind though to spent the day having Louis in in his arms, and for his luck, Louis was all over him, he kept touching him, kept giving all his attention to the youngest while all five of them were sitting together and tried to play cards -which ended more in a card-fight than a card-game.

But the boys enjoyed themselves and were happy to just have a laugh with each other without anyone telling them to stop, to focus or to delay their goofy mood for after work. But they didn't listen anyways, because firstival, after work they were so exhausted that they couldn't do much other than falling in a big mess of bodies and to sleep and second, this was how they kept the stress away from them at least a bit.

The other boys knew whenever Louis was touchy and kind of awkward close to Harry, the eldest of them had a meltdown, so they didn't question their behavior and how Harry didn't seem to mind to peck the other boy's head once in a while when Louis clung to him.

And Harry was like that to everyone. If you wanted to have a special treatment from Harry or just having someone pay attention to you for a whole day, you could go to Harry for a hug and he will look after you the rest of the day, trying anything to make you feel better.

Harry blinked, once he had gotten hit by six cards which hit his chest and fell down to the floor, the youngest boy threw them back laughing into the direction they had came from. "That was Liam!" Zayn complained laughing while he threw some to Liam and grabbed for others to throw them back at Harry.

Somewhere in the room, Louis sat on Niall's hips while the irish boy was laying flat on his back laughing, for a second it sounded like the blond boy was about to choke but he caught his breath eventually. "Louis!" was all Niall had gotten out before the boy on top of him shoved the cards down Niall's shirt.

 

Thirty minutes later they were chasing each other to the hotel pool which was emptied by the hotel stuff a few minutes ago so the boys could have the pool to themselves. They didn't tell them to do it but they didn't stop them from doing it either. "Ready for the pool Hazza?" Louis stood behind Harry near the pool "Nah, want to lay down to enjoy the sun for a couple minutes" Harry shrugged.

The curly haird boy was about to move away but all he could do was hold his breath as water surrounded him and cooled his body off to a nice temperature. He had to grab his sunglasses though, so he wouldn't lose them in the water.

Luckily he had walked to the pool without his bathing shoes or he would have to force Louis to dive for them now. Harry stumbed off of the bottom of the pool to get back up to the surface again. Once he was breathing Oxygen again he glared at Louis, but Harry's eyes gave him away before a smile spread over his face showing off his dimples "You are an idiot" Harry looked up to his friend who had pushed him into the water. "You are very welcome Hazza" Louis stuck his tounge out while he laughed and jumbed into the water next to his friend.

Harry rubbed his eyes from the water that had hit his face as Louis jumped in too close to Harry. 

Harry knew it was on purpose. 

Harry chuckled while he tried to get a piece of hair out of his face but failed completley. He heard the other boy laugh "Harry, sometimes you remind me of an helpless baby, no actually, you always do" Louis teased as he got closer to Harry "Let your Dady help you" Louis changed his voice like he would talk to a baby and pulled slightly on Harry's nose. "You are still an idiot" Harry let his arms fall to his side to make Louis room to fix his hair for him.

"You know, you could have just dived down and the problem would have fixed itself" Liam pointed out from the edge of the pool as he sat down to let his feed hang in the water "I actually could have yeah" Harry noted "Well, your Dady helped you now" Louis changed his voice again like before and poked Harry's cheek. "I don't want to think about the role plays they do while they are in bed" Zayn chuckled and sat down next to Liam who fist bumbed him at his joke.

Harry rolled his eyes at the two, it wasn't the first time they had made jokes about Harry's and Louis' friendship/relationship. "You are just jealous because you are not my besty" Louis said and laid one arm around Harry's shoulder and looked at Zayn winning "I'm the second one so I'm all good" Zayn chuckled "No, I'm your second one, tell him Lou" Niall pouted from the sun bed behind them. "Yep, see? You are third" Harry teased the black haird boy who just grinned back at him. "Three time's a charme" he winked at Louis and Niall almost fell off the sun bed due to laughing.  
The other four boys turned to look at Niall and fell into a fit of laugher too

A couple minutes later all five of them were in the pool and throwing a ball at each other but instead of throwing it that you would actually be able to catch it, they thought it was more fun to see how hard they could hit each other with it, to see if it would leave bruises. Eventually it did, but it didn't hurt much since they were laughing at the red stains they had gotten on their arms and chests.

Niall ended up trying to sit down on the water ball which didn't work, because of some science or physics, the ball ended up jumping into the air behind Niall, but unfortunately Harry was behind him, not close, but close enough for the ball to fly right into the direction of Harry's nose.

"Ah" Harry moaned while he brought his hands up to his nose "Oh for gods sake Niall" Louis reached forward to see if the ball had caused much damage on Harry's nose. Niall turned around to see what was going on, once he had spotted the blood drop on the ball, Niall bit his lip and looked at Harry. "Sorry" Niall tried to reach for Harry but Louis slapped his hand, in a friendly and joking way, away before he could touch Harry. "Get the baby some ice" Louis changed his voice again to sound less serious so Niall wouldn't feel offended.

Harry chuckled at the protectiveness of Louis and gave Niall a smile, Niall smiled back and rolled his eyes playfully and walked out of the pool. Louis then helped Harry out of the water and laid him down on the sun bed were he had put his towel on as they arrived "Lou, I'm fine, my nose doesn't even bleed anymore" Harry pointed out.

Liam and Zayn appeared behind Louis to look at the youngest. "Yeah, he is fine, see, his dimples are still showing" Liam said and Zayn poked the younger boy's cheek which caused Harry to laugh. "The dimples are always showing" Louis argued not taking that as an satisfied point that Harry wasn't feeling like his arm got ripped off.

Niall came running with a bag of ice and a cloth and handed it to Harry, but before Harry could take it, Louis grabbed for it, moved Harry's leg to the side so he could sit down on the sun bed too and handed it Harry himself with a caring smile.

The boys laughed at Louis' behavior "I love you too Momy, thank you for caring" Harry blew a kiss to Louis which caused the older boy to laugh and to blush.

The day came to its end soon, it would have been longer if they wouldn't have fallen asleep on Harry's and Louis' bed while watching Toy Story.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry gets hurt, again.  
> Sleepy OT5  
> A rumor that no one was expecting

A couple of days later the boys got guarded through the crowd of people. Screaming and crying girls were everywhere, the Security were glued to the boys, who were in a secure circle in between the bodyguards, so the crazy fan-girls and boys couldn't reach them.

For the boys it was still a lot to take in that they had to get escorted out of a hotel with a shell out of 500ibs muscle men around them, to get to their car.

From their point of view, all that they saw were hands, some with painting on them, others with pictures of them on their nails trying to get close to them. They were leaking through the small spaces between the bodygaurds, which the men couldn't fill, to touch any part of the boys bodies. And they saw hands from their bodyguards trying to shove all the hands that weren't attached to another man in black away from the them to keep them save.

And they heard screaming, a lot of screaming.

Bodies got pushed together, it was a little bit more relaxing for them when they realized it was just them who got pushed together and not some crazy girls who tried to get a touch of their ass or to try and grab some hair or other inappropriate body parts.

Once they arrived at the car and Paul had opened the door, Louis was the first one leaving the secure circle and ran yelling into the car, followed by Niall, Liam and Zayn.  
But where was Harry? “Hazza?” Louis looked around in the car trying to find the mess of curls. He heard a too familiar scream and then Harry jumped into the car, Niall quick shut the door behind Harry and...wait where did Harry's beanie go? Louis had bought him the beanie in Berlin.

Louis pushed the last thought out of his head, Harry's health was more important than a beanie. He could always buy Harry a new one at the next stop.  
“Are you alright?” Louis laid worried his hand on Harry's back as the younger boy let himself fall into the seat next to Louis and laid his hands into his own curls. “Yes, I guess...Damn I feel like the girl ripped all of my hair out” He rubbed his head at one spot, probably where the girl grabbed his hair to get the beanie.

Louis pulled Harry's hands off of his head and gentle bent the head over so Louis could see if there was any blood, luckily there wasn't, just a slight red color spot in form of a circle drawn by a three year old at the skin. “It's a little red, should Paul get you some ice?” Louis let go of Harry's head and leaned with his back at the door at his side, so he could face Harry better. “Nah, I'm fine” Harry leaned back at the seat and closed his eyes. “Will it make sense to sleep? Where are we off to anyways?” He opened his eyes again, looking straight to Liam who sat infront of him with still worried eyes.

Liam shrugged “Don't know and don't care, I haven't gotten any sleep last night I'll try to get some now” Harry nodded and saw that Niall's head was already resting on Liams shoulde with closed eyes and Zayn's head was resting on Liam's other shoulder aswell. As Liam closed his eyes, he let his head drop ontop of Zayn's and let out a sigh as he was finally comfortable enough to get some rest.

Harry smiled at the sight in front of him, the five of them never were good with sleeping in different hotel rooms and beds when they are on tour. Luckily Harry had never to worry about sleeping alone, he had always shared with Louis and was quite happy about that. To each other the boys where like a spare family for the time when they had to leave their real one thousands miles away.

Of course they fought and got on each others nerves but they knew at the end, they would have all got each others backs.

The car took some speed on which meant they were on a highway. Harry thought they will be on the road for a while so it's enough for a little nap.

Harry took a sharp breath in and laid his head down on Louis shoulder, he felt that Louis rested his head against his, Harry smiled at the response. He was that kind of person who loved to feel that other people were close to him, he also loved to cuddle and just to feel others warms, but maybe he just really loved to feel that Louis was close enough to feel his touch in some way.

Ever since the beginning he had admired the eldest of the band. He was funny, nice and just loveable. Louis had become a really important rule to Harry in just a couple of days after they had gotten put together in a band at the X-Factor three years ago -Something between best friend, role model, someone he could always turn to and maybe a crush, but Harry wasn't sure about the last one though, maybe he was mixing up the feelings of having a crush and being close to someone who actually cares about you as a person and not just of 'what' you are.

Especially lately since the five boys had blown up from a band from the X-Factor who had lost, to the biggest boy band existing, it was really hard to tell if someone liked them for 'them' or just because they were famous. At least the five weren't alone, they still had each other who they could always rely on.

After a while the car stopped but none of the boys moved, they were sleeping and cuddled up together like they had fallen asleep a few hours ago, except their feed were tangled together in the middle of the car, building one big feed-net.

Paul opened the car door and smiled at his sight. This was one thing he hated to do, he never wanted to wake them up because he knew how much these boys have to work and that they didn't get much sleep at the moment.

But they were on tour and had a concert tonight so Paul had to stick to the tight schedule for today to not mess with their Management.

“Boys” Paul whispered and petted Niall's knee carefully to wake him up, but Niall just moved a bit and burried his face deeper into Liams neck. “Come on guys. You'll have time to nap later” “But we want to sleep now” Zayn groaned “Now is not enough I need to sleep forever, just leave us here” Liam said while he was still half asleep. “He's right, just turn off the light” Harry whined and hid his face in Louis lap. Louis was awake now too but too tired to open his eyes, he laid his hand down on his younger friend's head and massaged it slowly. “Come on guys, there is lunch in the common room” Paul tried again to get them up. 

“Can't you bring the lunch here and feed me?” Niall suggested “Feed me too” Liam added. “I don't think I can eat, I'm too tired, Can I just sleep through lunch-time?” Louis asked hopeful while he rested his head against the window next to him since Harry's shoulder was now gone from his side.

Paul clapped into his hands which caused each boy to groan louder and crack their tired eyes open, like hamsters they rubbed their eyes and yawned like puppies, then they left the car, one by one, and started to walk into the only direction where a door was open with a sign next to it saying 'BACKSTAGE -BACK DOOR 4' The boys waddled into the building, following Paul's lead from behind when to turn left and when to turn right to get to the common room.

It was actually pretty simple to find, -just follow the smell.

The boys sat down at the table which already had each a plate and a pot of pasta and a green salad on it.

 

After they had eaten, the boys were enough awake to talk again and even have a laugh as Louis pushed the fork with too much force into the tomato so it splashed all over him, leaving some stains on his clothes.  
Paul got back in with the schedule in his hand “Hey boys, I got your schedule for today” He laid the piece of paper on the table and the boys bent forward to take a look

 

Schedule of the 8th December 2013  
1:30pm arriving in Indianapolis from Ohio  
1:45pm lunch  
2:30pm Sound check  
3:35pm Harry solo interview with local radio  
3:50pm Louis, Liam, Zayn, Niall video interview with local news in the common room  
4:50pm Harry solo video interview with local news in the common room  
5:15pm Zayn solo call interview with Radio Disney (Indianapolis)  
7:30pm Concert  
10:30pm latest to send in video diary of the day

The boys sighed. “Why do I always have to go on my own?” Harry complained and let himself fall into his chair. Louis sat down next to him and gave him a side hug “I'm tired of this. They always make me seem like I don't want to hang out with you” Harry whined “They are idiots” Louis tried to calm him down. “Big fat idiots” Niall added and Liam and Zayn nodded to agree with them.

“Let's have some fun at the soundcheck, alright?” Louis encouraged his boys, even though he was doing it to get himself up aswell. He was tired and angry, he hoped the call he had with Management a couple days ago about Harry to stop showing him off alone would have helped. But it didn't.

The boys followed Paul to the stage.

After the soundcheck, the boys had just sat down again when Paul got in to get Harry. “Harry, we gotta go” Harry groaned but got up anyways. The boys waved to their youngest member unable to know what to say.

“I thought you called Management the other day?” Liam asked Louis who nodded “I did but they don't care” Louis looked down and played with his hands. He hated it that he couldn't do anything for Harry to get him out of this. “Yeah, it really sucks, he is the youngest but still they give him the most to deal with” Niall said.

Lou, their hairdresser, got in “Hey boys, I need you to get ready for the Interview” “Can you make me last so I can sleep at least a bit?” Zayn pleaded. “Sure, if you think ten minutes will be enough for you” “That's great” Zayn laid down on the couch and laid his arm over his eyes so he was faced with darkness.

“Yo, Sleepy-Beauty, get up it's your turn” Louis threw a towel at Zayn, Liam and Niall chuckled in the background. “Come on Zayn” Lou attacked him with the water bottle which she had used to wet Liam's, Louis' and Niall's hair. Zayn got up eventually and sat down in the chair.

Five minutes later than planned the four boys started with the interview. The interview was the same like every other one too. It was boring for them because they only got asked the same questions, but then they got Louis by surprise.

“So Louis, you got a girlfriend?” Louis looked to the boys who gave him a questioning look, he looked back to the interviewer “No?” “Are you sure?” She giggled and Louis nodded “Well, as far as I know I'm single” Louis felt uncomfortable, he looked to Paul if he knew anything, but he shook his head unsure aswell. “Well, then who is she?” The Interviewer showed a picture of him and a girl with brown long hair, Louis and the other boys started laughing. “That's Gemma, Harry's sister” Louis cleared the rumor that apparently was going around. “Oh, you seem really close to her” The Interviewer stated and Louis shrugged “I'm close to Harry too, I think it's in the family” Louis added with a smug smile and then realized what he had said “I mean, I just get along with all of them well” Louis tried to save himself but he knew he had messed up and shut up for the rest of the interview.

It was five when Harry arrived back at the arena, he had been stuck in traffic for forty-five minutes and now he was late for his interview, he couldn't close his eyes for one second because outside the cars kept honking and yelling at each other to move.

He immediately got pushed into the common room where the interviewer was already waiting, there was no time for a quick personal 'Hello' with the interviewer, Harry got shoved right into the chair and with another blink the camera was on “Hello Harry, you got stuck in the traffic didn't you?” The interviewer joked and Harry put on his best fake smile “Yeah, the streets were really busy”

Like Harry was used to, he answered all the same questions with the same answer.

“Are you going to go solo?” “No” “Are you sure?” “Yes” “Do you miss your family?” “Of course, but I got the boys and they have become family, so I'm good” “Are you single?” “Yes”

The answers went off of his lips without thinking about it. “Ok, so, we got informed that this beautiful young lady is your sister?” The woman showed Harry the picture, Harry smiled “Yes, that's Gemma” “We thought she was Louis' girlfriend” The interviewer said Harry started laughing and shook his head “No. No”

The interviewer pulled her eyebrow up“You really seem sure about that” “Yes, I mean-” Harry didn't want to think about the fact his sister and best friend/crush were dating. And besides, Gemma knew Harry liked the older boy so this was reason enough why Gemma would never start anything with Louis, Harry thought.

“So you wouldn't like the idea of them being together?” “Yes, that'd be weird” “What about the others? Would you let any of them date your sister?” “No. No way. Never. Not gonna happen” Harry said confident with a hand gesture to make it clear. “Louis told us that you two are close” 

Harry bit his lip. Louis said that? “Well, we all are pretty close, I mean we all hang out 24/7” The young boy started to get nervous, what where they trying to get out of him?

“But we actually do have sources that say that you two are specially close, even closer than to the others” Harry shrugged “You always have in a group of friends a person you get on the best with or you are closer to I guess” The interviewer nodded “You are right” She smiled and Harry nodded. “So, that was it. Thank you for your time Harry” “Thank you” Harry shook the interviewers hand and the red lamp on the camera turned off. “It was really nice talking to you” The interviewer smiled one more time and Harry nodded politely before he left the room to find the others.

Harry found them in the dressing room. 

They all were laying on the floor and sleeping, except for Zayn, he must have been still doing his call interview.

The younger boy automatically laid down sideways next to his eldest friend so he was facing the other boy and placed his head near Louis' to get as close as possible to his best friend. He was so close, he could feel Louis' breath and smell his scent. Now Harry was save. The boy responded immediately by pulling Harry closer on his waist. “They thought I was dating Gemma” Louis whispered, unable to talk any louder due to tiredness. “I know, they told me” Harry said.

A couple minutes later they heard the door open again, probably Zayn. They waited until Zayn laid down too, so they could finally relax and get a nap.

A few moments later Paul got into the room to see his clients sleeping on the floor, he had a couple blankets brought along, knowing they would be sleeping. He laid each of them a blanket over and shut off the lights before he closed the door, giving the boys a nap until he will wake them up again in about one hour to get ready for the concert.

 

When Paul had woken up the boys they were in a good mood after the waking-up process. The adrenalin started to raise when they heard their fans yell and sing outside of the arena. They played some videos games to make the time go by faster, ate dinner and then started to dress for the concert.

The concert gave them the last adrenalin they needed to finish the video diary of the day and then to finally get to bed. But until then, they had a two hour show left.

On stage they used the power from the audience to put on the best show they could. For most artists it's not the best when they start a water fight or wrestle each other for a laugh but that was them, that was what they did and they knew the fans loved it because of the 'bromance' thing they were so crazy about. And being honest the boys had a lot of fun just goofing around with each other and have a laugh.

The drums finished, the end of the last song for tonight. The boys stood next to each other, each others arms around each others shoulders, then they bowed like they had the sixty-five shows before too to finish the concert. “It was a great night! Thank you so much Indianapolis!” Harry yelled into the microphone and the crowd cheered. “We love you very much! We'll come back soon” Louis added and they all jumped off into the darkness where they knew a trampoline will catch them savely. They pulled off their shirts while they ran towards the bus which will drive them to their hotel.

The car drive wasn't long, just about six minutes, they all got a quick shower in each of their rooms to meet fifteen minutes later to do the video diary of the day. three more days, then they will have two days off. The boys were living for those days off. The boys already knew what they will be doing. 

Nothing, Sleeping and Eating when necessary.

They all met in the hotel room from Louis and Harry, the younger boy laid down next to Louis on the bed resting his heavy head on his friends shoulder while he watched him putting on the recording app on the laptop. “I'm so knackerd” Harry groand and Louis hummed in agreement. “We can sleep in just a couple minutes” Louis cheered. 

The other boys got in, the adrenalin leaving their system slowy.

The video diary ended up being about two minutes because they just wanted to go to bed as soon as possible. They took their last strengths together to smile as big as they could for their fans one more time before Louis pressed the stop button. “I'll see you guys tomorrow” Liam got up and Zayn and Niall followed him “Yep, Good night lads” Zayn wavded tiredly and Niall just kind of held his hand up at them and left with the other two. 

“Curly?” Louis asked after he had sent the video via e-mail to their Management and shut the laptop down.

No answer.

Louis smiled because he knew Harry was already fast asleep.

He laid the laptop down on the floor next to his bed and laid himself down with Harry by his side. He grabbed for the blanket and pulled it up to their shoulders before he laid his arm around Harry to keep him close, then he shut the light off and fell asleep as well.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Liam and Zayn going missing  
> The boys talk about blowjobs  
> Harry gets offended

The next day was more relaxing, the boys weren't so tired, maybe it was because they could sleep until 1pm and had only one interview that day. They also had a M&G at four which will last until six, but they were excited about it to meet some fans.

After the interview the boys played some video games “Run for your life!” Louis yelled at his figure on the TV “Yesssss” He cheered as he kicked the ball into the goal “Damn it” Zayn sweared while a smile spread over his face. “You should try to yell at your players too” Liam nudged Zayn who was sitting next to him and Zayn nodded “I really should try that” He said. Louis clinked himself into the conversation “No, I don't think that will help anything, it's not gonna change the fact that you are bad” Louis poked his tongue out. “I'm not bad” Zayn pouted and threw the controller towards Louis.  
Louis bent down laughing and the controller flew over his head "Are you trying to kill me ZayZay?" "Maybe" Zayn teased.

 

Four o'clock came too soon, they were just in a wrestling fight with each other when Paul came into the room "Guys, you gotta go, the M&G starts in ten minutes" The boys looked up to their tour manager, Niall was all the way on the floor, shoving Harry's food out of his face so he could look up to Paul, Harry stopped poking Zayn, he hoped the poking would bring Zayn to stop moving like an maniac ontop of him, Liam left his hands on Zayns waist where he just had tickled him a second ago and Louis was sitting on top eating nuts.

"We'll be there in a minute" Liam said and bit his lip, waiting for Paul to leave so they could continue where they had left off. "I'm not leaving without you" The big man said and crossed his arms infront of his chest.  
The boys sighed and Louis got up watching his friends while they untied each other. Each boy moved their shirts, pants and hair back into the right position so they would look like normal people. "Let's go" Paul clapped into his hands and opened the door further so he could lead the boys out. First Niall, then Liam, Zayn and then Harry passed him. "You know you can't eat the nuts during the M&G" Paul said to Louis as he walked by "I know, but I'm not at the M&G yet" He stuck his tounge out which had nuts pieces on it.

"Lou" Harry walked backwards so he could face his older friend "Yeah Curly?" Louis payed all his attention to his friend now "Can I have nuts too?" "Sure, but don't tell the others" Louis said louder on purpose "I heard that" Niall yelled from the top of the boy's line "I don't want your nuts, they have your DNA all over them" Liam added "I prefer Liam's nuts anyways" Zayn said causing the five of them to laugh at Zayns pun.  
Once they had entered the room, a group of two girls were lead in. "Sorry that we are late" Liam smiled at them "Yeah, we were eating nuts" Louis said which caused the boys to crack up. They were in a good mood today and also the break was getting closer and since they didn't have much to do today, they weren't as concentrated and they also were tired of working for five days straight without one day off.

The girls squeeked loud and tears were forming in their eyes, Niall and Harry pulled each a girl next to them to smile for a picture. "Was great meeting you, have fun at the concert" Louis waved goodbye until they were out of sight.

It was the same, but at the same time different with every picture they took.

"How long yet? I have to go to the bathroom" Louis asked, once a group of four people were gone "Ten more minutes" Paul said and drank out of a water bottle "Yeah, I can do that" Louis said more to himself and greeted the next group of girls with one of his big smiles.

 

Fifteen minutes till the concert started.

"Where are Liam and Zayn?" Paul came worried into the changing room. "Don't know" Harry shrugged while he finished his banana "Haven't seen them since the M&G" Louis pointed out and sipped on his bottle "Don't drink too much, or you'll have to pee before the first intermission again" Harry looked to Louis "Yeah, you are right, was kind of a mess last time" They both chuckled at each other. "Well, I think I have seen them about twenty minutes ago walking into-" Niall got interrupted by the cracking of the door opening

"We are ready to go!" Liam cheered. "Where have-"Paul started but figured he didn't have much time now to call them out on their disappearance "Just get ready, I'll talk to you later!" He glared at the slowpokes and left the boys on their own.

"Wow, what's his business?" Zayn pulled the shirt over his head to grab a clean one off the shirt piles. "He couldn't find you" Harry said while he tried to throw the banana peel into the bin but missed it completley and just left it there and faced Louis who said "Yeah, did you see his sweat on his forehead, you two are in a lot of trouble later" Louis said like it's not a big deal "Well, who cares, let's have a great show" Liam said and the boys made their way to the stage.

The boys had a couple good laughs on stage and Harry wasn't attacked by the smoke machines yet. So it was a very succesful night, so far. Then the twitter questions came around, also, everything normal like always. The boys knew that their Management was only letting the questions through that were harmles and most of the time they had answered them already. But there were also some to ask them to re-act a scene from a movie or to do head stands.

Once they got off the stage, the boys were lead to their Tour bus. They got changed and sat down to watch some TV, a few minutes later Paul got in and turned it back off while the bus started moving. 

"Where are we off to?" Zayn asked sitting on the couch next to Liam. "Pennsylvenia" Paul got himself a bottle of water out of the fridge and sat down on the other side next to Harry to sit infront of Liam and Zayn. He gave them a strict look "What?" Liam held his hands up to defend himself "Where had you two been literally ten minutes before the show started?"

Liam and Zayn rolled their eyes, looking up to see the other three looking curious aswell "We were talking to our families" Liam said then not breaking eye contact with Paul. "You were talking to your famililes, alright" Paul repeated and pulled up one eye brow knowing they were lying and also knowing they weren't going to tell him the truth anytime soon.

Liam and Zayn noticed that the boys were giving them glances the whole two hour drive until they had taken a break and Paul left to his own bus to leave the boys to whatever they were ging to do.  
After they each had gotten something from McDonalds they sat back down on the couch to fill their empty somachs with something familar.

It was just McDonalds but still something that they could connect to home, they ate in silence while each of them waited until they got tired enough to go to bed but they also knew it won't be any time soon.

The bus was back on the highway and the paper backs were in the trash. "Can you guys please stop staring at us?" Liam rolled his eyes, he couldn't handle the stares anymore. "Really, where were you?" Niall asked and locked eyes with Liam. "And don't try to lie" Harry added. "We were nowhere, I'm going to bed" Liam got up and got into his bunk. The three now glanced at Zayn who said a quick "See ya tomorrow, lads" and climbed into the bunk bed below Liam's.

The other boys who got left behind looked at each other and shrugged. "Going to bed sounds like a good idea" Niall got up and disappeared in his bed aswell.  
Louis and Harry decided to watch a movie but ended up falling asleep on the couch halfway through.

 

The next morning, they were woken up too early for their liking "Guys, get up, you have in two hours an interview where you have to be" Paul said before he left the bus.

Louis and Harry were awake but couldn't open their eyes just yet. "I don't want to get up" Harry pouted "Me neither" Louis said but tried to open his eyes anyways. "Great, we are in some underground garage, again. I need sunlight, I swear I haven't seen the sun in years" Louis said and Harry chuckled "Same" The younger boy eventually opened his eyes too but it took him a couple seconds until he could see clearly.  
The two friends got up and woke up the others. Niall was the first one jumbing off the bed grabbing some clothes off the ground and put it on. It was Louis' shirt and Liam's joggy pants, he thought, but it was hard to tell, let's say the shirt was worn by Louis lately a lot and the pants by Liam.

After all the boys got dressed in something they could find, they walked into the closest door where there heard voices coming out.

"Good Morning" Paul greeted them while he was eating egg on toast. The boys gave him a tired smile before getting something to eat themselves.

They were all showered and waited in a room where the camera had already been set up and a man was still trying to get the lights to work. Unfortunately the boys had yet to wait for the Interviewer to come.  
The Interview wasn't anything new and the boys weren't as focused as they should have been but they ended up making it through without being too rude.

After the interview, the woman gave them a quick smile and left the room, leaving her team, which were two men who took care off the camera, microphones and the lights, behind.

The boys walked back into the tour bus "Who is ready for some Fifa?" Louis asked and only Harry and Niall agreed. The three of them looked behind them where Zayn and Liam had been just moments ago, but apparently they weren't present anymore. "What the fuck?" Niall sat down and grabbed a controller "They were just behind us" He shook disbelieving his head. "Where do they keep going?" Harry looked to Louis who shrugged "The question would be what they are doing" He looked to his friends while he waited for the Xbox to turn on.

"What do you think they are doing?" Harry asked confused and looked to Louis who chuckled at him. As Harry didn't get an answer from Louis he looked to Niall who sat there with an thoughtful face "Do you really think they are blowing each other behind our backs?" The blond boy looked to Louis who shrugged. "Why would you think that?" Harry asked Niall shocked.

"Haven't you seen how relaxed they always are once they come back?" Louis pulled one eye brow up to get the younger boy's attention "They probably get a fan but I don't think they do it with each other" Harry argued "Why should they risk a fan telling everyone when they can do it with each other" Louis said while he started the game "It's just, I don't know" Harry shrugged it off and concentrated on the game.

"So, Lou, you would prefer one of us blowing you than a fan?" Niall asked curious while he concentrated on the game aswell "Yes, because I wouldn't have the risk of you telling the media" "But what if I would?" "I don't know, think about it for a second, 'Niall told us he is blowing his bandmate in all the bathrooms of the arenas they have a concert in'" The three of them started laughing "Yes, you are right, It wouldn't be a good idea" Niall admitted.  
"Do you think about it?" Niall asked once they had focused on the game again "What?" Louis asked confused "One of us blowing you?" "Yes" "What? Who?" Niall asked "You really want to know?" Louis locked eyes with Niall challenging.  
Niall glanced over to him and bit his lip "No" He said quick and looked back to the TV. Louis chuckled "Have you thought about it?" Louis asked the question back "Nah" Niall said and shook his head at the thought. "That'd be weird" Niall added and Louis shrugged and looked back to the game aswell.

 

Liam and Zayn got back into the bus "Look who decided to come out of hell" Louis teased and paused the game "We weren't in hell" Zayn said and sat down on the free couch with Liam. "Yeah whatever" Louis continued the game again and smirked.

"What were you doing?" Liam asked while following the game. "We were talking about giving each other blowjobs" Louis answered calm and Liam and Zayn looked to Louis "Why?" Liam asked with wide eyes. Louis shrugged "Why not?" "Yeah, I mean it's not really surprising that Harry blows you" Zayn chuckled and Harry let the controller fall to the ground "I'm not blowing Lou" His cheek got red and Louis laughed "Of course, that's why Harry and Me always share a room, to blow each other" Louis said with too much sass in voice.

"I have never ever blowed Lou" Harry said again to defend himself. "Why would you think that?" Harry didn't let it go, why would they assume something like that, he didn't let the others answer "You guys are crazy, Lou is my best friend I wouldn't do that" and then he walked out of the Tour bus.

The four stared at the door of the bus where Harry had just left. "What was that?" Niall looked to Louis who shrugged, Louis then looked to Zayn "Great Job, if I have to sleep on my own for the rest of the Tour you can leave the band" "Jeez, calm down, I was just joking" Zayn defended himself "You know that it gets to Harry about all the rumors that are being told about him and me" Louis glared at his friend. Zayn got up "I'll talk to him" "Yeah, you better do" Louis looked after Zayn as he left.

"That was weird though" Liam said and leaned against the back rest of the couch. "Do you mind telling us what you and Zayn were up to?" Louis asked to get the attention off of him and Liam shrugged. "Can't say, sorry" "So, we have secrets now?" "Yep" Liam bit his lip and climbed into his bunk bed. "I hate when you guys don't tell me something" Louis pouted.

Louis was curious, yes, but he also cared about them. He just wanted to make sure that his boys were fine and that they knew they could always talk to him. He felt like he needed to protect his boys even though sometimes it didn't seem that way. The only thing Louis wanted was to be seen like a big brother to all of them. He did have a secret too and that was one of those he wasn't proud of, especially if it would involve the youngest boy from the band and especially for him, Louis wanted to be a big brother and a best friend.

He had always felt really protective over Harry, since Louis was the oldest himself and Harry the youngest, even though sometimes he feelt like Niall would be the youngest. Maybe Louis just thought this way sometimes to make himself feel better. But he knew that this was not changing the fact that Louis had a crush on Harry, and that crush had been going on ever since the X-Factor.

Zayn got back into the bus and itched the back of his head "He yelled at me" "Good" Louis glared up at his friend and looked behind him, waiting for Harry to come after him but he didn't "Where is he now?" Louis asked "He doesn't want t see anyone right now" Zayn sat back down next to Niall and bit his lip. Louis saw that Zayn was feeling bad about what happened "I'll check on him" Louis patted Zayns shoulder to let him know he had forgiven him and walked out of the bus.

It took Louis a few minutes until he saw Harry talking on a fence with some fans. Once they had spotted him they started to scream again and Harry turned around to give him a weak smile. Louis smiled back "Hey guys" He looked to the fans and signed a couple papers that got shoved through the fence and took some pictures. "What are you doing with Harold?" "Omg, is it true that you are dating Gemma?" One of them asked excited and Harry shook laughing his head "I told you a hundret times that he is not" Harry said and Louis chuckled and laid one arm over Harry's shoulder "Hazza here is right, I'm single" "Oh" Some of them looked disappointed "And if you don't mind, I gotta take Harry with me, Bye" Louis waved and pulled Harry after him.

"You alright?" He asked once they had sat down somewhere were no one could see them. "Yeah" "You sure? Zayn said you yelled at him?" "I did, sorry" "Nah, don't apologize" "But he looked hurt" "Yes, he did, but he got Liam now so he is all good" Harry nodded "You don't feel uncomfortable sharing a room, do you?" Louis asked "No" Harry shook his head "But it does make me feel uncomfortable when the boys say things like that" Harry bit his lip and looked down.

"They know, but they just forget that it's affecting you sometimes" Harry nodded "Guess I kinda freaked out over it" "And anyways, you and me know what is real and what not, so it doesn't matter what others think" Louis said and Harry nodded "Yeah, thanks Lou" Louis reached out to pull Harry in for a hug. "Promise me to not let those rumors come between our friendship, alright?" Louis said "Ok" Harry put his face into Louis neck. "We should get to the others before they really start making assumption about us" Louis teased and Harry pushed him back so he was falling backwards on his back. "You are an idiot" Harry got up but ended up helping Louis up aswell.

 

Once they had gotten back to the bus, Harry gave Zayn a big hug before they all got back to their normal crazy selves.

After the concert the boys were staying at a hotel, since they had another show tomorrow in the same arena. Somehow all of them managed to lay down in one bed "Tomorrow one more concert and then we have our break" Liam yawned "Yeah, finally our off days are getting closer" Harry agreed and scooted closer to Louis. The older boy was more than happy to lay his arm around the younger one. "Good night guys" Louis turned off the light which was next to him on the small table.  
The other boys mumbled a quiet 'night' and then they all were off in a dream.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1st day off  
> Gemma and Anne visit  
> Shopping with Louis Harry Anne and Gemma  
> Anne's role for Louis  
> 2nd day off  
> Sleepy Harry

The last day of work had passed quickly, maybe because the boys were too excited for the next two days off. 

They were hyperactive the whole day, yelling, goofing around more than usual and running through the venue to piss everyone off around them until the concert had started.

After the concert the boys weren't tired, well, they were but ignored it because now they had a few days off and didn't have to worry about falling asleep during an interview the next day. They ordered the room service as soon as they sat down in Louis' and Harry's hotelroom. "So, what movie are we going to watch?" Liam asked and sat down next to Zayn infront of the bed on the floor. "Don't know, a scary movie?" Louis suggested and the others agreed.

Niall took the remote to skip through Netflix to find a good movie, meanwhile the room service came in with their food. Once everyone had grabbed what they wanted they settled back down and started the movie but before the movie reached the thirty minute point and the boys could finish their started sandwiches, they fell asleep without a care when to get up the next day.

 

As Louis had woken up the next day and looked around and saw all the boys were still asleep, he smiled to himself and walked outside to get into another room to order breakfast and to watch some TV. Like he had expected, Harry got in just a couple minutes after him.

"Morning" He sat down next to Louis "Morning, do you know what time it is?" Harry asked and Louis turned the volume down from the TV to focus on Harry. "Yes, 11:45" Louis said and Harry groaned "This early? I feel like I have slept longer than that" Harry said "Same" Louis agreed and looked to the TV again to distract himself.

When the room service arrived the other boys waddled into the room aswell. "Food, good I'm starving" Liam yawned and sat down with the other boys on the bed where the food was being laid down.

After the boys had eaten and the room service had taken the empty plates again they were laying in a tangled mess of bodies on the bed and staring at the TV where a dumb reality show was on. Suddenly the door opened. The boys looked to the door and Harry was the first one jumbing off the bed "Gemma! Mom!" He pulled the two women who were standing at the door in for a hug.

After a few minutes, when Harry had finally let go of them, the other boys hugged them too "So, what are you guys up to?" Gemma asked the boys "Nothing" Zayn smiled "Isn't that great?" Liam cheered. "That's amazing" Niall agreed before Gemma could say something. "Well, I was about to go shopping with Mom, anyone wants to join?" She asked "Yes" Harry said immediately and locked eyes with Louis out of reflex. "Sure, we have to use our money for something" Louis got up aswell "But I have to shower first" He added and Gemma rolled her eyes and the others chuckled.

Louis just cared about his appearence. "I'll be back" Louis said and walked back into his shared room with Harry to take a shower.

"So, how are things going?" Gemma teased Harry and nudged him with her ellbow "I don't know what you mean" He said "Can we meet in about ten minutes in the lobby? I have to get dressed and brush my teeth" Harry added and Gemma giggled "Ok, see ya" Then she pulled her Mom behind her out of the room.

"I'll go and get dressed, see you guys later" Harry waved to the boys and waited for their goodbyes and have fun's before he left too.

Harry had just pulled off his shirt and put on his skinny black pants and was closing his belt when Louis got out of the bathroom in just a towel tied around his waist. "I hate it to walk out of the warm bathroom to get my clothes, I always get cold so fast" Louis pouted and grabbed his bag to throw it on the bed so he could take out what he needed. Harry grabbed a white shirt that was laying on the floor and pulled it over his head

"I don't get cold easily" He shrugged and stuck his tongue out. "Idiot" Louis laughed and pulled a shirt over his head aswell and untied the towel to throw it on the floor and put some boxers and pants on.

"Do you think we need a bodyguard?" Harry asked while he walked into the bathroom to get the toothbrush "Don't know" Louis answered louder so Harry would hear him in the other room. "I don't think so" Louis added then and Harry stood in the door with the toothbrush in his mouth. „Alright“ He said and went back to spit out the toothpaste.

Fifteen minutes later than planned Harry and Louis chased each other out of the elevator "Ahhhh Gemma!" Harry laughed while he tried to get his sister to stop Louis who was running after him. "What took you so long? Were you blowing each other" She giggled "Yep, exactly" Louis turned to Gemma and rolled his eyes annoyed. 

First the boys and now Gemma. 

"Because we don't have anything else to do" He added. "Well, let's go shopping then" Gemma said feeling uncomfortable of the sudden mood change from Louis. "Come on baby brother" She called Harry over and linked arms with her Mom who had just finished talking to someone on the phone.

Harry came and squeezed himself in the middle of his Mom and sister and laid each an arm around their waists. Gemma pulled Louis next to herself and when Louis laid his arm around her waist too, his hand landed on Harry's, he let his hand stay there for a second but then decided to lay his hand on Gemma's shoulder instead.

"I don't think we will fit through the door like that" Anne chuckled but followed them anyways. Unfortunately they had to apart, Anne and Harry walked through the door first, then Gemma and Louis followed close behind them. 

Of course many fans were waiting and about eight paparazzies were taking pictures of them but they seemed to be more interested in Louis and Gemma though.

"Louis, you said in an interview you and Gemma weren't dating" An mid-aged paparazzie asked "Yes, we are not" Louis said and took his arm back to himself since he knew that that was the reason why he was in that mess again. "You had your arm around her" The Paparazzie said. Louis just rolled his eyes and walked away to take a couple pictures with some fans.

"What did the guy say?" Harry was behind him with one hand resting on Louis shoulder to keep the balance as he leaned forward. Louis turned around and leaned in too so no one was able to hear him other than Harry. "If Gemma and me were dating" Louis said. Harry bit his lip and walked away, 

Louis shrugged it off and turned back to take another picture with a fan "Louis, we'll wait in the car" Anne told him "Ok, I'll be there in just a second" Anne nodded and patted his shoulder before she disappeard in the car.

Soon after the four were in the car on their way to the mall. "So, how were the last couple days?" Anne asked the boys who sat, facing, infront of her. "Well, Management forbid me to go home on my Mom's birthday" Louis said "Really? But you don't even have a Concert that day" Anne said shaking her head. "I know, but they said they have something else for me to do" Louis shrugged. "What?" Harry wrinkled his eyebrow in confusion, he heard this for the first time, normally they would tell each other everything.

"I don't know, they said they have to make sure first that everything works out what they had planned" "And they didn't tell you?" Gemma asked and shook her head. "Why-" Harry started but Gemma interrupted him "You should call them and ask them what they plan, I wouldn't trust them" "I don't either, but what can I do, they probably want me to go to some charity football thing" Louis guessed and looked out of the window.

 

Twenty minutes later, they arrived at the mall "So, let's waste your money" Gemma cheered and walked into the first store. She grabbed Harry and pulled him on his hoddie behind her to some cloth piles.  
Louis and Anne walked into the other direction.

"Have you talked to Mom recently?" Louis asked while he looked over some T-shirts. "Yes, she actually had planned to come with Gemma and me but the babysitter called off a few days ago so it was too late to find someone else" Louis nodded "She knows she can always bring the girls too, I wouldn't mind" He chuckled but it hurt him, even when they were in the UK he didn't have much time to visit them.

"At least you are here" He smiled then and pulled Anne in for a hug. Anne hugged him tight back "Are you alright Louis?" She asked worried. That was something he loved about Anne, because he was so close to Harry he had become really close to her too and it was great to have a Mom around even if she was not his own, but it almost felt like it. "Yeah" He whispered but held on tighter to the woman.

"Lou, We have found the perfect shirt for you" Harry yelled through the store. Louis pulled back from Anne and whispered a quick thanks to her before he followed Harry's voice.

"Show me the shirt Harold" Louis poked Harry in the rips to get his attention because the younger boy was facing a pile of clothes again. Harry turned around and unfolded the pink shirt in his hands.

"I found it" Gemma said making sure she was getting the credit for it. "But I said Louis would love it" Harry argued and Gemma rolled her eyes amused "Just show him the shirt" She giggled and waited for Harry to hold the shirt up for Louis to see.

"Bottom Power" Louis read the words on the shirt and chuckled "What makes you think I bottom?" Louis asked Harry curious and the younger boy shrugged "Your bum is really big" "Do you look at my ass, Styles?" Louis pulled an eye brow up teasing. "Louis, your bum is big, it's hard not to notice it" Gemma said and pinched Louis' bum. "Ey!" Louis played offended and stepped infront of Harry so he could protect his back from Gemma.

Harry laid his hands on each of Louis' shoulders "Don't worry, I'll protect you" Harry chuckled and pulled Louis into his chest.

"Guys, let's check out another store, alright?" Anne said while she was walking towards them. "Alright" Louis nodded and walked out of Harry's grip, feeling relieved that Anne got him out of that sitation. He had started to feel uncomfortable, not that he didn't like it to be close to Harry, but because it shouldn't be - It shouldn't feel so save and kind of feeling like home in his best friends arms.

 

When the four walked out of the sixth store with three bags, they decided to take a break. "Should we get some Pizza?" Anne asked and the others agreed.

When they were going to pay and Harry got his visa card out Anne held his hand back "No, you are out with me, so you don't have to pay" "But Mom-" "No buts Harry, I'm still your Mom and when you are out with me you are not paying for your own food, and the same is for you Louis" She smiled to Louis who had gotten his wallet out aswell.

"Thanks" Louis said simple, he wanted to protest too but he knew Anne and when she says she is going to pay then he doesn't want to argue with her, he will just buy her an extra present for her birthday.  
Harry sighed "Mom, these $25 are not going to make a big change on my visa card. "On mine neither" Anne argued and payed. Harry rolled his eyes but kept quiet and kissed his Moms cheek.

It was already dark when they got back to the hotel, Harry and Louis had fallen asleep only minutes after the car had started to drive. Anne woke them up once they were infront of the hotel, luckily most of the fans were gone and Louis and Harry could get into their hotel without any bodyguards guarding them into the lobby.

"I guess you two are going to bed?" Anne asked with a smile when the elevator door closed and Louis and Harry were kind of supporting each other not to pass out right there, they had enough experience with that anyways and it had been worse, so they knew they will make it into their bed at time. 

"I don't know about Haz, but yes, I am" Louis said forcing his eyes open "How long are you gonna stay?" Harry asked instead of answering. "We will leave when your break is over" Anne said and Harry nodded "So the last day we will have is tomorrow?" He bit his lip, hating to think about saying goodbye to his Mom and sister so soon, but at least he had seen them unlike the others who had probably been skyping their families during the day.

"Yes, but the tour will be over soon, so you'll be back home for a couple weeks" Gemma said excited and Harry nodded as the door opened and the four left the elevator, they said their goodnight's to each other and went into their rooms.

Harry and Louis undressed themselves while they stumbled to the bed "Good night Curly" Louis said and yawned while pulling his part of the duvet up to his chinn. "Good night" Harry whispered and scooted closer to Louis who held the other end of the duvet up so Harry could share it with him. They weren't sharing a bed for nothing, they both liked a good cuddle.

"Lou?" "Yeah?" "Sorry" Louis opened his eyes, he wasn't expecting that and turned around to face his friend "For what?" "You couldn't skype with your family because you went out with me, Mom and Gemma" "Harry, jeez, if I had wanted to skype with my Mom then I just could have stayed here with the others. I'll facetalk with my Mom tomorrow, and anyways I had a lot of fun today" "You did?" Harry smiled "Yep, always have when I'm with you" "Good to know" Harry teased and Louis blushed "You don't need to act like you would hate to spent time with me" "I never would" Harry chuckled and closed his eyes "Good night" "Night" Louis smiled and looked at Harry a second longer before he closed his eyes aswell.

 

Harry woke up the next day by the TV and moved until he was comfortable again. "You awake?" Louis asked and turned the volume down since the comercial just started to play "Yes" "Good, your Mom texted me like three hours ago asking if you were still breathing" "Why?" "Because it's 4:23pm" "At least I'm rested now" Harry chuckled and opened his eyes to look at Louis, in that moment Louis' eyes moved from the TV to Harry's.

Harry wrinkled his eyebrows when he looked at Louis' hair "Your hair is wet" He noted and Louis started laughing "Yeah, Harry, my hair is wet, that is what happens when you shower, you should try it too sometime" He teased. "Shut up" Harry chuckled "I just woke up" He pouted and Louis pulled Harry into him "I know, just messing with you, you know" "Yeah right" Harry sight happily "I guess I'll go back to sleep"  
"Sorry, can't let you do that" "Why not?" "Because your Mom said I shall send you to take a shower" "Why?" "I don't know, maybe because she wants to go out with you?" "Right" Harry nodded but didn't show any attempt to get up. "Then get up so I can text her you are getting ready" Louis chuckled. "Then let go of me" He said while his head rested on Louis' chest. "I can't let go when you are laying ontop of me" "Fine" Harry pouted and got up and stuck his tongue out "There will come a time when I will cut off your tongue, Curly" Louis said before Harry disappeared in the bathroom.

Before too long Anne and Gemma came into the room, Louis had already, kind of, made the bed and got dressed. "So, the sleepy head is up?" Anne chuckled and sat down on a chair. "Yes, about fifteen minutes ago" Louis smiled and turned the TV off. "You still share a room?" Gemma asked and looked around the hotel room to see two suite cases in the middle of the room on floor with all the clothes laying around it. "Yep, why?" Gemma shrugged "You are not annoyed of the sleep talking?" "Nah, he actually says interesting things sometimes" Louis chuckled.

"Your room is a mess" Anne said to change the subject "I know, but it's just for another day" Louis said "Yes, but how do you know what clothes are yours and what's his?" Gemma looked at the mess on the floor. "We don't, we just wear whatever we can get in our hands" "That's why you are wearing Harry's shirt, I was wondering" Gemma teased "Well, I even think it's Liam's, but who knows" Louis shrugged.

Harry got out of the room with just a towel around his waiste "Ey Lou- Mom? Gemms" He bit his lip, he didn't hear them coming in. "Well, I guess you better leave the towel up there bro or I won't ever look at you again" Gemma threatend. "I wasn't planning on since I have noticed you two here" He gestured to his sister and Mom and chuckled.

"Go get dressed" Louis threw some cloth pieces to him which didn't smell too bad. "Thanks Lou" Harry said and closed the bathroom door behind him again.

"So, what are your plans for today?" Louis asked curious "Since it's almost five, maybe go out into a resteraunt, have you had eaten already?" Anne asked and looked to Louis "Nope" "You wanna join?" "Yeah, sure, if that's alright" Louis smiled, feeling relieved that he wasn't alone today again. Not that he would have been alone, the others lads are still here, but he wouldn't be with Harry and that'd be the same as being alone, kind of.

"Of course, you are always welcome, just like the others, but they were busy today, again" Anne smiled.

Harry got back out of the bathroom "So, what are we going to do today?" Harry asked. "We are going to a resteraunt to eat, because I'm starving" Louis cheered and got up "You are coming with us?" Harry asked Louis to make sure that he had understood him right. "Yes, if that's ok with you" Louis got quieter with each word, he didn't want to be in the way when Harry wants to do something alone with his Family, it's not like he wanted to be in his way. "No, no, of course that's ok" Harry smiled "To which resteraunt are we going?" He asked quick to get rid of the awkward tension that was between him and Louis.

The dinner was relaxing once they entered the resteraunt and the stuff even gave them a table where not many people were so they could be left alone and enjoy their dinner. They were talking about random stuff, Gemma was talking about her classes, Anne about her last meeting with Jay and the boys were talking about the time on Tour.

If it was for Harry and Louis they could just sit here all night but they had work tomorrow again so the night ended at 9:30pm since the ride back to the hotel will take about forty-five minutes.

Harry was falling asleep in the car "Don't sleep yet, because I'm not going to carry you" Louis said "You did it once though" "That was because you were sick and dying and you weren't a 100ft tall that time" Harry pouted and Louis, Gemma and Anne laughed. "Don't laugh at me" Harry yawned and laid his head down on Louis' shoulder.

The car stopped and Harry groaned "I don't want to move" "Come on Hazza, let's go to bed or do you want me to get the others?" Louis teased and chuckled at the time, when once Harry fell asleep and him and the boys attacked him with nerf guns.

Harry opened his eyes "I hate you" Louis laughed "I know you love me" "No, not right now" "You are so grumpy today" Louis chuckled and got out of the car followed by Harry and the women.  
"We will see you guys tomorrow then" Anne smiled and patted her son's shoulder once they were infront of their rooms "Good night Mom" Harry hugged his Mom and sister "Night Gemma" "Good night" Louis hugged both too and walked with Harry into their room.

When Louis came out of the bathroom, Harry was laying in the middle of the bed, still in his clothes and shoes, he chuckled to himself and pulled Harry so he was only taking over one side of the bed and pushed his shoes off and laid down next to Harry on the bed. Louis pulled the duvet out underneath from Harry to lay it over both of them and fell asleep aswell.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Liam and Zayn are late again  
> Conversation with Ziam and Paul  
> Louis wants Zayn to talk to him  
> Ziam are talking about 'a thing'  
> Louis gets a message from Management

The next day was rather exhausting for all of them, Harry had only a few minutes to say goodbye to his Mom and sister before he got pulled into the tour bus to get to New York where they had a show that night.  
"We haven't seen much of you two during the two days" Liam pointed out and sounded a bit sad while he shared a bag of cereals with Zayn and Niall who sat on each side next to him. "Yes, we spent the time with Mom and Gemma" Harry bit his lip, he was missing them already. He turned around to look out of the window hoping he woukd still be able see them but the bus was already on a highway, the only thing he saw were cars passing by.

Louis laid his arm around Harry and pulled him into his side "I bet I'm still better at Fifa than Zayn" Louis implied to that one time when Louis had beaten Zayn on the x-box "You know I let you win" Zayn said "Curly, what do you think?" Louis asked Harry "That Zayn is bad at Fifa" Harry agreed with his best friend and fist bumbed him.

"I'll set the game up" Niall cheered, he was happy that he had all of his boys around him again, he was actually looking forward for the short break to spend them with all of them playing video games, watching TV and just to have a great time, but of course he also was happy for Harry that he saw his Mom and sister again.

"You are in mine and Harry's team Nialler" Louis said "Why? Scared I could beat you then?" Zayn teased. "No, but because I love him, didn't you know? We apparently had a hot night yesterday according to the fans" Louis chuckled and wriggled his eyebrows once Niall locked eyes with him.

"Nah, I'll give Harry the precedence, but thank's for the offer" "Wasn't my offer, check twitter" Louis shrugged "Ew, gross" Niall shook his body at the thought and threw a controller to each boy.

 

"Ok guys, in about twenty minutes lunch will be ready, make sure to be back here" Paul warned them before he walked out of the door. 

They had just arrived in New York and were now in the common room where they were suppost to eat in twenty minutes.

"Free time" Louis smiled and looked to his friends "I'll call my Mom, see you guys later" He added and walked out of the room. "Well, I'll go and take a nap" Liam said "Yeah, that's what I need" Zayn agreed with Liam and they left the room aswell. "No way they are taking a nap" Niall said as soon as he was sure the boys wouldn't be able hear him anymore. Harry shrugged "We still don't know for sure if they give each other blow jobs though" "They do, 100%" "Well, then, you wanna play some cards?" Harry tried to change the subject. He wasn't so kean to talk or think about two of his best friends sucking each ohter off "Sure" Niall agreed and they walked into a dressing room where they could play in without being interrupted.

Half an hour later, Harry and Niall were sitting at the lunch table. "Where are the others?" Paul asked in a hurry when he entered the room and only saw the blond one and the curly one at the table. Niall shrugged "Louis was calling his Mom and Liam and Zayn went to take a nap" Niall said. Paul sighed angry and left the room. Normally he wasn't that impatient but they had a lot to do today and Paul's boss started to pressure him to keep the boys better in check.

"What is Paul's problem?" Louis asked as he sat down next to Harry "He looked quite angry" The eldest added. "Liam and Zayn haven't showed up yet and he is pissed" Harry said. "Anyways, what did your Mom say? Everything's fine at home?" Harry asked then. "Yeah, everything's fine" Louis looked down into his plate and started eating.

Five minutes later the door opened and Liam and Zayn walked in. "What's up" Zayn greeted the boys and sat down with Liam on the table. "Where have you been? Paul is angry with you" Niall said while shoving the fork into his mouth.

"We were taking a nap like we said" Zayn said and started to eat.

The door opened again and Paul got in and eyed Liam and Zayn angrily. "What?" Liam asked after he had swallowed his peace of pork. "You two" He pointed to Zayn and Liam "We will have a talk after your M&G today" "Why?" Zayn asked but Paul didn't answer him, he just closed the door and was out of their sight.

"Good luck for that" Louis said and finished his plate. Liam and Zayn shared a look and continued eating in silence.  
After lunch they had about thirty minutes until soundcheck. "I'll go to the bathroom, see you guys later" Niall said and walked away. Louis and Harry shared a look before they turned around to see where Liam and Zayn were, but they were gone aswell.

"That is their revenge because we were leaving them the last couple days" Harry chuckled and Louis nodded.

The half hour was by faster than thought but Harry and Louis managed to be on the stage at time. seven minutes later Niall walked on stage with a smile "So, let's start" "We can't yet, Liam and Zayn are-" Louis started "We are here!" Liam said before Louis could finish his sentence.

After soundcheck was done, the M&G started, surprisingly the M&G went by fast and soon they had about one hour left before they needed to get ready for the concert.

The boys sat down in the common room, everyone else was gone, probably preparing for the show tonight. Liam and Zayn were about to sit down when Paul called them over "Liam, Zayn, come with me" Paul said strict and pressed his lips together, not wanting to have the conversation with the boys, he didn't know if he wanted to know what was going on, but he needed to know to fix their suddenly disappearing habit.  
"Good luck boys" Louis said and the other two mumbled their encouraging words aswell.

 

"Boys, explain me, why are you lately always late?" Paul asked once the door to the dressing room fell shut to give them some privacy. "That was twice" Liam argued and bit his lip. "That doesn't matter, tell me, what is so important that can't wait?" Paul looked to Zayn this time. "Sleeping" he said calm "We rarely get any sleep" Zayn defended his point "You just had days off" Paul argued not letting them get away with that so easily. The boys looked to Paul and shrugged before looking down on the ground.

Probably it wouldbe better if he stopped, Paul didn't want to lose their turst so he decided to warn them once again "I don't know what you are doing and I don't want to know, just try to be on time, we have a busy couple weeks ahead, we can't afford for you to be late" Paul blured out then.

"Alright" Liam agreed, hoping he could leave the tiny room as soon as possible. The air got thick and he just wanted to breath again "Ok, so, you can leave then" Paul gestured to the door and the two boys left the room without another word. As soon as they were in the hallway Zayn got his phone out "You can go ahead and go to the others, I'll come after you" Zayn said "Your Mom again?" Liam chuckled and pointed to the phone. Zayn nodded and blushed "Yes" he looked down on the floor until Liam was petting his shoulder "Tell her I said Hi" Then he left and Zayn walked into the other direction where he could be alone.

Liam walked back into the common room where the others were "Where's Zayn?" Niall asked as he looked up "Calling his Mom" Liam shrugged and sat down next to Niall. "And? What did Paul say" Louis asked "Just that we should be on time now" "And what were you telling him you were doing?" Harry asked curious. "Sleeping? Because that is what we do" "No you don't" Louis and Niall argued at the same time. "You know nothing" Liam said and turned his body away from them.

"What are you guys doing?" Zayn got into the room and sat down next to Liam "Nothing" Liam answered and felt relieved that Zayn was here now too so he didn't have to answer these questions on his own.  
Louis stared at Zayn, first Zayn ignored it, he thought Louis was in one of his day dreams again, but after staring back for at least eleven seconds Zayn noticed that Louis' face was straight and kind of judging him.  
"What?" Zayn asked "Nothing" Louis shrugged and moved his eyes away from Zayn.

 

After the concert Louis watched Zayn going to the bathroom and followed him, he didn't follow him inside but he waited outside. It felt like minutes for Louis until the door to the bathroom opened a bit "Love you too, I'll call you" Louis heard Zayn say into the phone and crossed his arms infront of his chest. He is going to be told right now what his best friend his not telling him.

"God Louis" Zayn held his hand to his heart dramatically. "You scared the shit out of me" He added "Good" Louis said and eyed Zayn from head to toe "What is your problem?" "My problem? I'm not the one who has secrets" "Yeah, right, you and Harry are quite obvious" Louis rolled his eyes, he was tired just like Harry of everyone's assumptions about them. It probably wouldn't have such an affect on him if Louis wouldn't have a crush on the curly boy but still, the boys should know that there is nothing going on between them.

"Can you shut up with Harry and me? If I say we have never ever done anything, you can believe me that" Louis said annoyed. Zayn looked into his friends eyes for a couple moments to find what he was looking for, the glanze of lying, but he didn't find it. All Zayn could see was worry, annoyance and something he couldn't put a name on.

"Really?" Zayn asked "Yes" "But you like him" Louis rolled his eyes, not letting Zayn distract himself "Zayn, just tell me, what is up with you and Liam?" "Nothing" Zayn walked into the direction where the bus was. Louis noticed he had found a wound point and ran after Zayn who walked pretty fast for Zayn, normally Zayn was more the type who wouldn't be in a rush. "Don't run away from me" "I'm not running, I'm walking" "Zayn" Louis pleaded "I just want to help, I just want to know what is going on" Louis added.. Zayn stopped "I know, but right know I don't need any help, with what even?" "I don't know, that's why I was asking" "Louis, just try to figure your own stuff out, alright?" Zayn said before he walked into the tour bus.

Louis looked after him, he didn't have anyrhing to work out, everything was clear for him. The smaller boy entered the bus aswell, Zayn wasn't anywhere to be seen so Louis guessed he was in his bunk.  
"He's in his bunk" Harry nodded to confirm Louis' thought. "What happened?" Harry asked as they sat down on the table where Niall and Liam played some board game.

"Just asked him what was going on" "What did he say?" Harry asked and Louis noticed that Liam was paying them now his full attention. For a second Louis thought to play around a bit to figure out what was going on, but then he decided not to do it, he wasn't mean and didn't want to hurt anyones feelings, if there were feelings included, and with feeling he didn't even think of having a crush, generally, friendship for example.

And to think about it, Liam and Zayn actually dating Louis started laughing.

Harry chuckled as his friend fell into a fit of laughter "What's so funny?" Harry asked, hating the feeling seeing the older boy laugh without him knowing the reason. Louis whispered into his ear and Harry blushed, he never dared himself to even think about it, but now that it came out if his best friends mouth, and Harry always did everything that Louis told him, he couldn't stop his brain to picture it. Liam and Zayn, together. Actually it would be kinda cute Harry admitted to himself but chuckled anyways.

Liam was feeling uncomfortable, he knew that he was part of the reason why they were laughing but didn't dare to think about what and that's why he said goodnight and climbed into his bunk above Zayn to get away from them.

"Well, I'll go to sleep aswell" Louis said and patted Harry's shoulder before he walked off.

"You both imagined Liam and Zayn blowing each other?" Niall asked and Harry widened his eyes. He would never go this far and imagine two of his best friends blowing each other. He shook his head "No, we weren't" Harry said and continued as Niall kept staring at him. He looked to the bunk beds, just to make sure Zayn and Liam weren't there and stepped closer to Niall and told him.

"Well, at least two would have figured things out then" Niall shrugged before saying goodnight and disappeared in his bunk.

Harry stood there for a second, confused, what's that suppost to mean? The youngest member stared at the black area of the TV before feeling too tired to do anything else and climbed. into his bunk too. 

Five minutes passed and Harry couldn't get comfortable, it always was hard to fall asleep without Louis by his side once he had shared a bed with him for a couple days. Harry moved to the other side to face the wall, then he laid down on his stomach, he started to feel sick and turned around to lay on his back again. He then sat up a bit so he wouldn't hit his head and went over his face with his hand. Harry took three deep breathes before laying back down and it started all over again until the curtain was moved a bit

"Haz, what are you doing?" Louis stood there and rubbed his eyes "Trying to get comfortable" Harry pouted and Louis smiled while he climbed into the bunk to lay down next to Harry. "Come here" Louis opened his arms so Harry could cuddle into his side. "Better?" Louis chuckled and Harry nodded "Better"

 

When Zayn woke up the next day the bus was still moving so he decided to turn back around, when he did, he heard moving outside. He pulled the curtain to the side and saw Liam "What are you doing?" He asked with his eyes still closed "I make cereals, want some?" "Nah, I'm going back to sleep" Zayn yawned "Alright" Liam said and payed his attention back to his bowl.

"Li?" Zayn asked then, his eyes open now. Liam looked up too and chewed "Yeah?" "Well, never mind" Zayn sighed "No, tell me" Liam encouraged him "I talked to Louis, and he-he and Harry don't have a thing going" Zayn sounded unsure. "Nah, come on" Liam shook his head "They are sleeping in the same bunk, of course they have a thing going" Liam said and pointed to the bunk.

"No, I'm serious, normally when Louis lies, his eyes get darker, but they didn't" Liam shrugged "Well, then they don't have a thing going" Liam shrugged it off "So, you know, we started that thing because we were sure they had the thing too and-" Zayn started but Liam cut him off "So you want to stop?" Liam asked and looked at Zayn. "Do you?" Zayn asked. A long uncomfortable silence was between them "I mean, it doesn't matter what Harry and Louis do or don't do" Lism said then. "Yeah" Zayn agreed, not knowing to what exactly he had agreed to. "I mean, it's not like it has changed our friendship" Liam stated and Zayn nodded "Yeah, just our punctuality" Zayn said. Liam laughed "Right" "So, I'll try to sleep some more" "Alright, have fun" Liam said before turning back around. Zayn closed the curtain and turned to face the wall of the bunk and fell back asleep soon.

A couple hours later all five of them were sitting around the small table in the tour bus which was still moving. Louis, Zayn and Harry ate breakfast, even Liam got himself a snack again but Niall was sitting with the head resting on the table. "You don't want to eat?" Harry asked Niall worried. "Nah, not today" "Do you feel sick?" Zayn asked worried and laid a hand on Niall's forehead "Yes, kind of" "You want a tea?" Louis asked and got up without waiting for an answer.

Two Minutes later Louis placed the tea infront of Niall and Harry had gotten Niall's blanket from his bunk. "You wanna lay down?" Liam asked and Niall shook his head and chuckled "I had just gotten up, Liam" "I know, but you'll feel better" Niall knew to protest against Liam won't work so he got up and laid down on the couch after Harry had thrown everything off that was unecessary. Liam then tucked Niall in and Harry brought the boy on the couch the tea.

The blond boy fell asleep soon after and the other boys were as quiet as they could during a game of scrabble. "P-e-n-i-s" Louis chuckled and laid the word through Harry's "F-a-m-i-l-y" The other boys chuckled too even though it wasn't funny at all.

"What are you guys doing? Masturbating?" All four heads turned around to their friend on the coach "Are you doing better?" Zayn asked and Niall nodded "Yep" He slowly got up and sat down on the free seat next to Zayn.

The boys had just finished scrabble when the bus had come to a stop. "We are here" The bus driver told them and opened the doors. Each boy grabbed some shoes that they could find and then they ran outside screaming. It had been hours since they could be this free, well free was different, they saw the fences around them to keep the fans away if some would show up but they had enough space to chase each other on the area.

When Paul started to whistle the boys knew they needed to focus now or else they will be in a lot of trouble, not that Zayn and Liam were in enough trouble already. "Ok, guys, you have an interviewer waiting. Follow me"

The boys groaned, the last thing they wanted to do now after being trabbed in a bus for twenty-four hours was an interview, but it was their job so they had to stick to it. On their way to the room they tried to get each other as excited as they could.

The interviewer was really nice, they didn't have that often, most of them were trying to flirt with Harry, or were wearing some short dresses where you could see their panties.

"Ok, so Louis, you have been spotted with Gemma, Harry's sister" The Interview asked curious and looked to Louis. "Yes, but Anne and Harry were with us too" "So, you spent your off day with Harry and his family" "Yes" Louis nodded not knowing where this will lead. "And do you have anything to say?" Louis shrugged "Is there something you want me to say?" The interviewer laughed and shrugged.

Louis changed his mind about the interviewer, he didn't like her one bit. "Well, then, do you guys have any secrets you want to share with your fans?"

No. was the answer that all of the boys immediately thought. Not that those were secrets, but it was too personal and private to let anyone know. Those were just things that you should keep to yourself and not even share with your best friend if you don't want them to look down on you or think you are a freak.

Each boy took a moment for themselves to sort out their thoughts and then they locked eyes with each other. In that moment they knew, there were secrets. There were things that no one knew about the other, but before they could get lost in that moment, Louis brought his thoughts back to the interviewer and answered her question.

"Well actually, the fans know where we live so I guess they know everything else about us aswell" He said and looked to the boys. "Yes, it is really hard to keep things private, the only thing I can think of is that I will be standing a day in the bathroom when I eat skittles" Niall said and the interviewer laughed.

The boys had enough practice on how to get out of awkward situations. "Ok so, that were all my questions" She smiled and the camera turned off. The boys let out a breath that they were holding in and stared at the floor.

Paul got in the room "Guys, Lunch is ready" The boys didn't say a word nor nodded, they just got up silently from their seat and followed Paul into the dining room.

Louis' phone vibrated, a message from Management "On the 20th of February 2014 we expect you at 8am in the M!M office. See you then!" Louis sighed. That was the birthday of his Mom that he actually wanted to go to, maybe there will still be time for him to quick see her before he has to do whatever they want him to do, Louis tried to think of something positive, he was in the UK so he will have time to see his Mom.  
Harry bumbed Louis' knee under the table to get his attention "What did it say?" Harry asked Louis, having his attention all on his own since the others were talking about some football game. "I'll tell you later, alright?" Louis smiled at Harry who nodded, then they started eating and joined the conversation with the others.


	6. *Louis*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a special Louis chapter.  
> It's only about him but the others will appear too.  
> Each boy gets a chapter like that.  
> Enjoy!
> 
> summary: Louis goes home

The following week Louis was flying home for that meeting he had with their Management. He had hoped he could take Harry with him but Harry wasn't allowed to leave because of some dumb interviews the other boys had to do before they started their last leg of the tour.

The flight was terribly long, he couldn't fall asleep even though he had first class and had no one sitting directly infront- or behind him, but he could still hear a baby crying in the economy class. That baby had been crying for the past hours, luckily Louis had his own little TV infront if him and listened to some music on it with his ear plugs.

Somehow he did fall asleep and it felt like he had just closed his eyes when he got woken up again by a girl with brown hair, the hair were tied in a nice tight ponytale and she wore a big smile over her lips "Mr.Tomlinson, wer are landing" Louis smiled weak back and nodded and thanked her for waking him up before she left.

Louis was excited, even though home was still six hours away from here, it was great to be back in the UK.

His bag was only a carry on with some things, he wasn't going to stay for long anyways and if he would, he could use that as an excuse to go home to grab a few things.

Louis walked out of the plane and followed the crowd, he noticed some fans staring at him, they had their mobiles out to take a few pictures of him, the boy sighed to himself, he loved his fans, but he looked like he hadn't slept in days and the jetleg already kicked in when he thought about the time. It was morning when he had left in America, so it was the morning again, but the next day here.

Louis pressed his eyes together feeling the headache already. A police officer walked over to him and told him his security was waiting for him at the police office in the airport to escort him out. Apparently the fans knew Louis was coming, maybe because they thought he was coming because of his Mom's birthday.

Louis just nodded and followed the man, it wasn't the first time the boys were asked by the police to come with them to not put them and other people in danger.

Louis was picked up by some familar bodyguards who escorted him out, he was more freaked out since he was alone. It was different with the other boys by his side because he knew the fans were here to see them too but these people were here to see just him. Or maybe they thought the other boys would have come along too but that was their loss, because they are not, Louis thought to himself.

Once Louis was in the car, he was alone, he looked up and noticed the silence. He was so used to to see three laughing, tired, sleeping or angry faces infront of him and a too familiar body beside him, but not today, and if he thought about to fly back on his own tomorrow or in two days, the headache got worse, he hated traveling on his own.

Louis grabbed his phone out of his pocket and turned it on, he had already five messages from Harry, two from Niall and each one from Zayn and Liam. Louis shook laughing his head to himself, they were probably blowing each other right now which would leave Niall and Harry to themselves.

Louis bit his lip at the thought, he didn't like to think about Harry and Niall hanging out on their own.

He didn't want to continue thinking about it and answered the boys messages.

The car stopped and the door opened, Simon was there. "Hey?" Louis said for the first time since he had landed here. He was surprised, he hadn't expected Simon to be here at all, it had been months since he had seen him in person. Louis got nervous, if Simon was here, then this meeting was going to be more important than he had thought, and maybe that was the reason why he wasn't allowed to bring any one of the other boys with him.

"Louis, great to see you" Simon said while he waited for Louis to get out of the car. A man closed the door behind Louis as he followed Simon into the building. "What is going on?" Louis asked. "We will talk about that in just a second" Simon said and pressed the buttom for the elevator. "How are you?" The old man asked "Tired" "Well, you can sleep later when a car drives you home" Simon smiled and got into the elevator.  
Louis forgot all his tiredness "What? Home? Really?" A big smile crossed his face "Yes" Simon nodded and the elevator door closed.

The elevator ride and the walk to the office door was spent in silence.

When Louis had opened the door he saw all the same people who always were there. He sat down on a seat next to Simon and waited until the head of the team would come in. Louis was confused on why there was a free seat infront of him but he shrugged it off, probably someone was sick.

A couple minutes later the door opened and the head of the team got in with a young girl by his side. "Who is she?" Louis asked Simon quiet but he got ignored by the man. Louis took that as a sign to wait, so he leaned back and the girl sat down infront of him. Louis locked eyes with her for a moment and then looked back, not sure whether he should stay or not.

"Louis" The man said and Louis looked up to him "Yes" "So, you know about the rumours?" "That Gemma and me are dating?" He asked confused. "No, the ones that you and Harry are" Louis' face was emotionless, because of that they had flown him over here? To talk about his relationship with Harry, that was ridiculous.

Louis pressed his lips together not knowing if he should yell at them or roll his eyes or just get up and leave already because that was the last thing he wanted to talk about "You know it's not just Harry and me, it's also Niall and me or Harry and Niall and Liam and Zayn" Louis said.

"Is there something going on?" Simon asked Louis who rolled his eyes "With whom?" "You and Harry" Simon said calm and Louis rolled his eyes "No, listen, if that is the reason why I'm here then I don't want to waste my time here, I don't know how many times I need to say this, but Harry and me are not in any kind of relationship or doing whatever, we are just best friends" Louis said slowly so he hoped they all got it now.

"Good, then we have to worry about less" "Worry about what?" Louis was confused and the man pointed to the girl "This is Eleanor, and she will be your girlfriend until the hype has come down with the rumours"  
Louis started laughing, he actually was pissed, but he thought to yell at them wouldn't bring anything anyways, and he actually thought it was funny "So, you really want that I date a girl who I don't know just because of that" Louis said and shook his head. "That is pathetic" He added and looked to Simon in hope he would be on his side.

Simon gave him a firm and serious look and Louis stopped laughing "So, you are serious?" The man nodded "Eleanor is a nice girl, you'll make it puplic tomorrow when you go out with your family" Louis sat up and held his hand up so the man would shut up.

"Stop. No. I'm not doing this, what makes you even think that I would consider doing that?" The man shrugged, but he seemed to know that Louis would do it and that made Louis feel uncomfortable.

Actually, to have a 'Girlfriend' will maybe stop everyone assuming him and Harry are or were ever together. And maybe people will finally stop saying he was gay, not that he is homophobic, but he has younger sisters who are on the internet a lot and he didn't want them to read stories like that about him before Louis knew himself what actually was going on.

"Louis, there is nothing you can do, the contrast is already signed" Simon said and pulled Louis back down into his seat. "But I have never signed anything" "But I did" "Why?" Louis asked annoyed. "Because I have the right to put you in any PR stunt as long as it is good for the band" Louis shook his head and crossed his arms infront of his chest

"You are not allowed to tell anyone" Simon then added and Louis looked up "But the boys are allowed to know, right?" Louis looked to Simon who shrugged "Not yet" "I won't lie to the boys" Louis aruged.  
"Well, anyways, we have an article being printed by tomorrow about you two. The story will be that you have been dating for a while and that you were here today to talk about how to go puplic" A woman with a hair bun and glasses said.

Louis knew he had lost "But at least let me tell my Mom" he pleaded as the only request. Simon shook his head "Sorry, but you can't, not yet"

Louis was about to protest but he kept quiet, not wanting to get into trouble and anyways, he can just tell his Mom, it's not like Simon is going to find out.

"Now, I need a cute picture of the two of you that we can sell" The man said and clapped his hands. Most of the people in the room got up and left, leaving Simon, Louis, Eleanor, the woman with the camera and the head man behind.

Louis looked at her, she was pretty, and Louis tried hard to find a thing about her that he didn't like but he couldn't find one, only that she was a girl. He thought to himself and hoped none of them in room could read thoughts.

Somehow Louis ended up next to Eleanor. "So, take her in your arm and look happy" Simon instructed "Just imagine she is a fan" he added then "I actually am" Eleanor giggled. That was the first time he had heard her talk and thought, a picture with a fan, he could do that.

 

The car ride was weird, he was stuck with the girl in a car and texted with Harry. Louis felt bad he coudln't tell him and the other boys but he'd rather not mess with their management. Harry told Louis that Liam and Zayn were missing again and Niall was lost somewhere in the building and Harry was babysitting Lux because Lou wanted to go shopping with someone else from the team. Louis laughed at the pictures that Harry sent him from the toddler.

"So we have to like- does my Mom know you are coming?" Louis asked Eleanor while he was waiting for a reply from Harry. "No, if you haven't told her" She shrugged and looked out of the window while she was biting on her lip. Louis quick sent his Mom a message saying he was bringing a friend and switched back to the conversation with Harry. Louis frowned when he read Harry had to go to the Interview now, they texted their goodbyes and a 'have fun and say hi to others from me' from Louis and a 'tell happy birthday and give your Mom a hug from me' from Harry.

Louis shoved his phone back into his pocket and stared out of the other window on his side. "And what are you doing? Like, do you work or do you go to college?" Louis asked trying to at least befriend her. "I'm in university but School doesn't start till August" She smiled and looked to him.

It was the end of February so it made sense that she had time for messing around. "Well, and how did you hear about like, faking dating me?" Louis asked nervous. This is that kind of conversation he thought he would never have, just like that one time when Lottie had asked him to get her Tampons because Mom wasn't there and she didn't want to get them herself.

"Well" She giggled "Tom, your boss, he is my Dad so I basically had no other choice" "So you don't want to do this just like me?" She shrugged "I didn't say no, and I mean he said you are nice so why not?" Louis wrinkled his eyebrows "You don't know me, what if I'm an drug addict?" Eleanor started laughing and Louis joined her. Maybe it wasn't going to be as hard as he thought. She was nice and funny and understood his sarcasm like Harry.

Louis bit his lip, he just didn't compare her to Harry.

The car stopped and Louis looked outside, a smile spread over his face when he saw the familar house. 

He was home, finally.

"We should go inside" Eleanor said and opened the car to get out. Louis grabbed his bag and followed her to the door. She let him get to the door so he could ring, Louis didn't have his door keys with him simply because he would lose them in the mess of the tour bus and the constant traveling.

Louis hesited for a second before he rang, it felt weird to ring at his own house. The door opened and Fizzy stood infront of him, she stared at her brother for a second, probably trying to make sure it was really him

"LOUIS" She yelled then and jumbed into her brothers arms "You are home"

Louis laughed while tears welled up in his eyes. "Hey Fizzy" He held her so she woulnd't fall down and entered the house. Eleanor followed him and closed the door behind her. "Mom Mom!" Fizzy ran into the living room, Louis followed her assuming Mom was in there.

Once Louis had entered the living room the twins spotted him and ran towards him. Louis kneed down to give his two youngest sisters a hug at once. "Louis" They said in unison. He looked up to see his Mom, he quick pecked each girls head before he pulled back from them to give his Mom a long needed hug. "Hey Mom" He said and hid his face in her neck. "Louis" "Happy Birthday Mom" He said so she was the only one to hear.

"You told me you couldn't come" She said still in shock to have her son back. "I texted you again" Louis said. "My phone is dead " His Mom said and Louis laughed.

"Why could you come?" She asked "I thought Management wanted me to be somewhere else but-" He stopped when Phoebe spotted Eleanor "Who are you?" "Are you his girlfriend?" Daisy asked curious and Louis looked uncomfortable to Eleanor. "I guess?" She said awkward and locked eyes with Louis who shrugged.

It was weird, honestly and it felt so wrong to lie to his own family but they seemed fine with it. "You haven't told me you were dating someone" Jay nugded her son "I know, ehm" Louis stumbled not knowing what else to say now. "Well, his management said we should keep it for ourselves for a while" Eleanor said calm.

Louis remembered what the lady had told them. "Yes, and we kinda wanted to keep it private too until we were sure, you know, that this will work" Louis said and looked quick to Eleanor who nodded. "Of course, well, then I'm Jay, hello" Louis' Mom introduced herself and shook Eleanors hand "I'm Eleanor" "So, I will make tea and you two can tell me anything about how you met" She smiled and walked into the kitchen.  
Louis looked back to the twins "Can we put make up on you?" Dasiy asked Eleanor and who smiled "If you want to" she shrugged and the twins ran upstairs to get their stuff.

"You don't have to do that, really" Louis said. "No, it's fine, I have a baby cousin too and she loves to put make up on me" "Ok" Louis said and gestured for her to sit on the couch next to him. "Where is Lottie, Fizzy?" "Getting a birthday present for Mom" She laughed "She forgot again?" Louis chuckled "Yep" His younger sister laughed and went into the kitchen to help her Mom.

The twins came back into the living room with a box, they had probably put all the make up stuff in there that they could find. They asked Eleanor to come and sit down with them on the floor which she did without hesitation.

Mom got back in with Fizzy and the tea and Eleanor and Louis made up some story.

Louis noticed how much his family loved Eleanor, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all. Eleanor was nice and let the twins do whatever they wanted and she was polite and nice and made a good impression to his Mom. Fizzy was a bit spectical at the beginning but eventually she gave in and went along with it too.

"Oh, Mom, before I forget, Harry says Hi and I should give you a hug from him" "That's nice, tell him Hi back" "Where is Harry anyways?" Fizzy asked "He needed to stay in America with the boys doing some interviews" "I miss him" Daisy said.

Not only you, Louis thought and hugged his sister "I will skype him later and then you can talk to him, alright?" Daisy nodded happily.

The front door opened and Lottie got in "Louis!" Louis heard his sister yell even before he could see her. Louis laughed and got up, by the time he was up his oldest younger sister was already in the living room waiting for her brother to hug her. Louis chuckled and embraced her in a hug "Lottie" "Louis" "How are you?" "Great, you?" "Good" She pulled back and looked to Eleanor. "Lottie, this is-" Jay started to introduce Eleanor "I know, she is Louis' girlfriend, let me tell you the whole internet is blowing up right now" She warned "And Harry texted me asking what was going on because you didn't answer your phone" She added and locked eyes with her brother "Harry texted you?" Louis asked and looked to his phone, He had ten missed calls from Harry, seven from Niall, nine from Liam and five from Zayn. His message box was also full from the boys asking what was going on.

Louis was speechless. Simon had said it would be puplic by tomorrow and not today. He locked eyes with Eleanor for a second and then walked into the kitchen to call Simon.

"What the fuck, Simon?" Louis said angry. "What?" "You said the story with Eleanor and me will be out tomorrow not now" "Yes, tomorrow will be an artice realized that you confirm it but we had to bring out the picture now" "But the boys don't know it yet, what should I tell them?" Simon sighed "Well, fine, you can tell the boys but not your family" Louis bit his lip, his sisters and Mom loved her already so he guessed it will be fine. "Alright" He said feeling relieved he didn't have to hide it infront of the boys.

 

It got dark outside and Louis decided to skype with the boys now before the twins had to go to bed. He got his laptop out and set up the camera with everyone on the other side of the room so he could have a moment just to say Hi before it would end up in a mess.

It took a couple minutes until the connection was set, Harry was sitting there with the boys next to him, all four of them started to talk at the same time "Guys" Louis warned them. "We will talk in just a moment, but there are some who wanted to say Hi" He said and the twins sat down next to Louis. "Hey" The boys smiled once they saw the twins. "Hey Harry" Daisy waved to him "I miss you" She pouted "I miss you too" He waved back but kept his eyes on Louis.

Louis knew Harry was hurt that he didn't tell him about a girlfriend, but Louis will tell him and boys the truth, in just a second when his family will be gone.

After the boys had sung happy birthday to Jay and talked some with the everyone, Lottie and Fizzy brought the twins to bed. Jay took Eleanor into the kitchen to leave Louis with the boys alone.

"Guys-" Louis started but was cut off immediately. "Louis, no, now we talk" Liam said and bit his lip. "If you date her, just because you are tired of the rumours with Harry then don't do that" He added and Louis bit his lip. It wasn't his idea.

"That's-" he started but was cut off again "If you really think that he would actually date someone just because of the rumours, then that is dumb" Harry said and looked to Liam before he looked back to the screen "You are not doing that because of that, do you?"

Louis saw hurt in his friends eyes, of course that wasn't true. "No, you know I don't care about the rumours" Louis said honest and Harry nodded and looked down. "She is nice" Zayn said and Louis looked to him and nodded "She is" "So, how long have you been dating?" Niall asked "Well-" Louis looked to his friends on the screen ready to tell them the truth, they looked sorry, but for what. "Guys, are you ok?" Louis asked instead of saying what he had planned.

"We are sorry" Zayn said and looked to the ground "For what?" Louis was confused and looked to Harry who shrugged his shoulders. "To think or say, that you and Harry have something going even though you have been in a relationship"

Louis let that sink in a second. If the boys think so, then it will be with the same with the rest of the world too. The rumours really did annoy him, so maybe if he just would keep up with it for a little while, he would have at least a couple weeks peace without the annoying looks and questions.

"It's alright guys, I mean, I should have told you" Louis said then "But why didn't you?" Harry asked. "I just wanted to figure out if it would work" He shrugged "And does it?" Liam asked hopeful and Louis nodded "Yep" he avoided to look into the camera and looked at his friends on the screen instead.

"So tell us, how did you meet?"

Louis told them the same story like his family with the details that will be in the article tomorrow. "Well, then, when will you come back?" Harry asked and locked eyes with Louis. "In two days, I will arrive some time during the day" "Ok" Harry said but didn't try to smile. "So, how have the interviews been?" Louis asked to get to hear what they were up to.

 

The whole next day Louis thought about Harry. Harry acted weird, maybe even sad and Louis hated it. But honestly if Harry would come up out of nowhere with a girlfriend Louis would feel the same way. "I'm sorry, i should have told you, i miss you" He sent Harry a message in the morning before he put his phone on charger and walked downstairs to eat breakfast. Eleanor had slept the night here on an extra matress though, Louis matress was too tiny to fit more than one.

Well actually it would have worked, it has always worked with Harry too, but here's the thing, it was different with Harry, everything was different with the curly haired boy and Louis didn't like it. He hoped that 'being' with Eleanor will help him to stop thinking like that about Harry too.

Louis was sure the only reason why he felt like that towards the younger boy, was because he had never been this close to anyone else and if he could try and get closer to Eleanor too he will probably feel the same way about her too, but then the voice in his head laughed at him. She was a girl so he couldn't feel the same way for her like he feels for Harry but still, that didn't stop him from hoping.

Louis went out shopping with Eleanor, his Mom and his sisters after breakfast. They had a great day, filled with many laughs, smiles and pictures. Even though the pictures were on the negative side, the paparazzies would try everything to get as many pictures of the new couple as possible.

Many of Paprazzies asked him about Harry but he said what he always said "We are just friends, no need to make up some fake stories" He also stopped for some fans and talked to them for a couple seconds before he continued with this family and his 'girlfriend' to walk through the mall.

After they had lunch at the Mall, Jay dropped Eleanor off at her house. Louis was glad that Phoebe was on his lap so he didn't have to get up and get in an awkward sitiation, he just waved at her as she closed the door.

The drive home was quiet, just the guy on the radio was filling the silence while he said the new gossip about some celebreties. As soon as Louis heard the guy say his name he turned the radio off. He didn't need this now, he just wanted to get back in his bed and hide under the blanket.

"What's for Dinner Mom?" Lottie asked and Jay chuckled "We just had lunch sweetie" "How about I'll take you guys out?" Louis suggested and locked eyes with his Mom for one second as she stopped at a traffic light. "Alright" She smiled and focused back on the street once the traffic light had turned green again.

 

Louis was about to walk into his room to check his phone if someone had messaged him, he had forgotten it in the rush this morning in his room, but Daisy pulled on his sleeve to get his attention. Louis looked down and smiled "Yes?" "You want to play 'Guess Who?" with me?" Louis nodded "Of course, I'll just grab my phone and then I'll be back" He ruffled through his sister's hair and ran the stairs up into his room.  
Like he expected Harry had texted him back "Never mind, but you should bring her over says Zayn. But I wouldn't do that, because I bet he will scare her off haha" Louis laughed to himself and texted Harry back and unplugged the charger so he could take his phone with him as he walked back downstairs.

He had laid his phone down on the couch next to him where he sat across from Daisy. Louis said on the side, having one arm over the back rest of the couch and watched Daisy put the game out "Phoebe and Me made it more fun by sticking us and you and the boys on it instead of the boring drawn faces" Daisy chuckled with Phoebe who sat on the arm chair to watch them play.

"That's great" Louis laughed and took his board to himself, he spotted Harry right away, next to Harry was himself, then Zayn, Liam and Niall.

When Daisy was all set they grabbed into the pile of the pictures to know 'who' they were. Of course he had to pick himself "Ok, are you ready?" He asked once he had put his picture in the given spot. "Yep" Daisy said and they started playing.

Daisy guessed him really fast, but Louis has gone out of questions. "Come on Louis, it's not that hard" Daisy laughed and Louis tried to think about more questions. He knew who she was, he had known after the second question that she was Harry, but he was that kind of big brother who let his younger sister win.

"I don't know, give me a tip" He pleaded. "Well, the person basically is your everything" She shrugged "My everything? Is it you?" He asked and she laughed "No" "Mom?" "Louis, you already guessed that it's a boy" Phoebe laughed from the side "Is he one of the boys?" Louis asked finally to finish the game so they could go to the resteraunt.

"Yes" Daisy said getting excited for her brother to finally finish the game "Does he have black hair?" "Nope" "Blond?" "No" "Brown?" "Yes" "Liam?" "No" "Then it's Harry" "Yes!" Daisy cheered and laughed "I know you have known that it was Harry since longer than that" She said "No" Louis shook his head but chuckled anyways.

"Do you miss them?" Phoebe asked as she gestured to Louis that she wanted to sit on his lap "Who?" He asked and changed is sitting position so Phoebe could sit down on him "The boys?" She asked "Yes" He admitted "But I'm glad to be back home too" "This is your last day, isn't it?" Daisy asked while she made room on the couch so she could cuddle up to her brother aswell.

Louis laid one arm around his other sister "Yes, but I will be back soon, just three more months left" "Don't go, please" Phoebe said. Louis sighed, he wouldn't say no if he could stay for a week longer but he knew he couldn't do that and he was looking forward to see his boys again.

"Hey, you know what? Once the tour is over I will get Harry to go with us to Disney land, alright?" The twins looked excited up to him "Yes, that sounds great" "Good, then we will do that" Louis smiled to his sisters who had each a big smile on their face.

Louis' phone buzzed on the couch and Daisy picked up "Hello?...Hey Harry" Louis looked to her and held his hand out so she could give him the phone but she ignored him "You know, we played 'Guess Who' and Phoebe and me put your pictures on there instead of the drawn ones and Louis had himself and I had you and Louis pretended like he didn't know who I was even though he had known since the beginning that I was you" She laughed and nodded at something Harry had said. "Louis said that you and him will go to Disney land with Phoebe and me once you are home from Tour" Phoebe then reached and took the phone out of her sister's hand "Hey Harry" She said.

Louis knew they were doing it because he wanted to talk to him "No, she is not here at the moment, why?" Louis raised his eyebrow at her sister on the phone. Was Harry asking about Eleanor?  
"Ok I'll give him the phone, see you, alright?" Phoebe waited for a replay from Harry and handed then her brother the phone "Hey" Louis said into the phone and walked out of the living room to get some privacy, he walked up the stairs and closed the door to his room behind him.

They had talked about what they did the day but Louis couldn't shake off the weird feeling that something was wrong, but he decided if something was wrong Harry would tell him if it was important so he decided to enjoy the last couple hours with his family.

"Gemma called me this morning and she wasn't happy that you weren't there because she wanted to yell at you, she is really angry because you never told her about Eleanor" Harry said and Louis bit his lip, he was glad that Harry couldn't see him now. "Yeah, well, now she does...everyone does actually" "I'm happy for you, you know, it was about time for you to find someone" "It's time for you too" "I'm fine right now, really, media makes up that I'm with every girl I'm standing next to, so I guess that will only cause more drama"

"Yeah, you are right, but if she is the right one, she will trust you, and anyways, I'm here to make sure you behave" Louis chuckled "Guess I have the role now" Harry teased. "Yes" Louis agreed quiet and closed his eyes "Hey, I gotta go, promised the girls to go to a resteraunt" "Ok, have fun, tell them I said hi" "I will, tell the others Hi too" "Yes, if I see them before you get here" Harry said and Louis chuckled "Bye" He waited for Harry's goodbye and hung up.

When he got back downstairs Eleanor was here and he swallowed, should he be happy? Hug her? Just wave? The problem had solved itself once Eleanor saw him and got up to give him a hug "Hey" "Hey" Louis hugged her back and kissed her cheek. "I got your message, I'd be more than happy to go with you and your family to grab some dinner"

Louis was confused, How the hell did she know? But he thought the right thing would be to just play along. "Mom, would you mind? I was texing her earlier and waited for a reply, I just got the message" "Of course, no problem" Jay smiled happy at them.

 

Never in a million years Louis had expected that so many paparazzies were at the resteraunt, it was impossible that they knew he was coming here, the only one he had told was Harry.

Thirty minutes later than planned Louis and the girls were finally in the resteraunt. "How did they know we were coming?" He asked and shook his head, that was ridiculous. "I might have posted a picture on Instagram saying that we were going out" Fizzy said and looked to Louis to see if he was angry, but he wasn't. "Well, then, how many likes did you get?" He asked and poked her since she was sitting next to him.  
Fizzy laughed "about 300 I guess"

The evening was over too soon. Louis had gotten a message from Simon saying he needed to come to London today so he wouldn't miss his flight which was at 6am the next day.

As Louis and his family arrived back home a car already waited infront of their house which would take Louis back to London. He quick hugged his sisters and his Mom and got into the car. He knew the longer he would hug his girls the harder it would be for him to let go.

Louis couldn't sleep that night, it wasn't his own bed and normaly he had Harry next to him if he had to sleep in some random hotel.

Louis was staring at the ceiling when his alarm went off to wake him up, he sighed and turned it off to get a shower.

One hour later he was followed by two security guards through the airport to get to his gate. Luckily he didn't have to go through the security check and was happy when he was the first one allowed to enter the plane. It took another hour until he could finally lay back as the plane was in the air.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Louis' gets back with the others  
> Eleanor texts him  
> Zayn wants Louis to get laid  
> Ziam  
> Liam gets weird messages from Management

**22nd February. 3 Months till the end of Tour** It was 5pm when Louis was lead into a hotelroom where he saw his boys spread out on the bed. "Hey guys" Louis greeted them with a weak smile. He knew that the boys would mention Eleanor soon and that scared him. He didn't know how long he could put up with the lie especially when Simon calls in and thinks Louis had told the boys that the relationship was fake or mentions it in some way. "Lou" Harry looked up and smiled, he scooted to the side a bit so Louis could join their tangled bodies. "Are the others dead?" Louis asked while he let his bag drop to the floor and jumbed on to the bed between Harry and Zayn. "No, they are sleeping" Harry chuckled "We were" Zayn groaned and opened his eyes, his bad mood flew by once he spotted the small but familiar body next to him "Louis" Zayn tangled Louis in his arms "Welcome back" he added and Louis chuckled "It's great to be back too" "I heard Louis?" Niall streched himself and by doing so he shoved Liam off the bed. Liam groaned as he hit the hard floor and the others laughed. "Who the fuck was that?" "Sorry Li" Niall apologized "Louis is back" Harry said and Liam sat up and smiled once he locked eyes with the oldest. "Hey" "Hey" "So, what have I missed?" Louis asked and turned to Harry. "We should ask you that" Zayn said and sat up aswell so Liam could sit down next him. Louis looked over to Zayn but still noticed how Harry's eyes darkened. "What?" Louis asked once he had locked eyes with Zayn "You have been having a girlfriend for god-knows how long and you didn't tell us" Liam said offended. They all were disappointed that Louis didn't tell them, they always thought they were on a better level with each other than that. Louis sighed and bit his lip "Well, but you should understand, it just happened so quickly and while being on tour, I didn't know how this will work out for us, but then she was there when I arrived in London and Simon said we can go public if we wanted to" He blurred out. That all didn't make sense at all even to Louis himself, but he was glad when the other boys just nodded along. "So, are you happy?" Harry asked careful while looking to Louis. The older boy nodded and tried to smile while his eyes were locked with Harry's. "Good" Harry looked down and bit his lip "Niall, we should go if we want to play some golf before the show" The yonger boy locked eyes with his friend who sat next to him. The blond boy nodded and got up "Alrighty, We'll see you guys later" Niall said and Harry waved to the boys, he catched Louis' eyes one last time before he disappeared with Niall out of the room. Louis sighed and let himself fall onto the bed. "You alright?" Liam asked and Louis nodded "Yeah, just tired. I hate jet-leg" "I bet, we'll leave you alone, so you can sleep a bit alright?" Zayn suggested and Louis nodded while their eyes were locked "Thanks" Zayn patted Louis' knee and left the room with Liam. Harry and Niall were on their way to the golf court by the hotel. "I can't believe that Louis never told us" Niall started a conversation even though he knew that to talk about Louis and Eleanor was the wrong thing to start with and to his defense, it just blured out of him and he felt bad for bringing it up. "Well, doesn't matter" Harry shrugged cold and put a smile on his face as he asked the guy for two golf sets in the lend house. "He never told you?" Niall asked while Harry handed him one set. "Yep, was just as clueless as you guys were" The two boys walked to the first hole "That's crazy, he would have told you a 100% if he was dating someone, like you two spend more time together than I have with my Dad and I have lived with him for 16 years" "It is what it is Ni, let's just start playing alright?" "Sure" Niall nodded and took a couple moments to concentrate and then shot the ball into the field. Some time later Louis was woken up by the cracking of the door. He turned back around, hoping it was just Harry who will lay down next to him and let him sleep a bit longer, he wasn't ready to perform yet. "Louis?" It was Zayn. Louis opened his eyes for a second and turned around on his other side. "Don't tell me I have to get ready for the concert please" Louis pleaded and Zayn chuckled "No, you still have one hour until you are suppost to get up" "Then what the fuck are you doing here?" Louis hid his face in the pillow. "I want to talk" Zayn sat down next to him "Well, I am, you can just listen" Zayn added, that made Louis curious, was he finally telling him about what was going on with him and Liam? "Well, I guess I'm sorry" He started "Why?" Louis asked. "Because I thought you and Harry had a thing when you have been in a relationship" "Zayn, stop worrying about it" A couple seconds of silence fell between them. "Ok" Zayn looked to the floor "I just thought we weren't that into keeping things like that to ourselves" "Yeah, I know" "Ok, well nevermind, so tell me, how is she?" Zayn smirked and wiggled his eyebrows at the last part to underline what he meant. He locked eyes with Louis who blushed and looked down, "Tell me" Zayn bumbed their shoulders together to get it out of him "Good, I guess?" "You guess?" "Yeah" Louis shrugged "You haven't had it yet, have you?" "No" "So then I know what I have to do when she is visiting" Louis looked up shocked. To pretend he had a girlfriend while she is not around or to pretend to actually being with her infront of the others was a complete different story. "God please don't" Louis bit his lip to think about the awkward situation that he pictured in his mind. "Why not? I'll get the stuff for you" Zayn chuckled and got up "Anyways, you have to get ready now" Zayn strechted himself quick and looked at Louis "Alrighty" Louis sighed and got up aswell, he really needed a shower. "In Forty minutes the car will be here" Zayn reminded Louis before he left. When Zayn had closed the door behind himself, he heard Harry and Niall in the hallway and walked towards them "Hey lads, how was golfing" "Good, I won" Harry cheered and Niall laughed "I'll get revenge though" "Of course you will" Zayn laid brotherly his arm over Niall's shoulder "The how many revenge was that again Nialler?" Zayn teased and laughed with Harry. "Shut up" Niall pouted but ended up laughing anyways. "You are not with Liam right now?" Niall asked as they started to walk back where their doors were. "Nope, was with Louis" "Why?" Harry asked curious. "Why not?" Zayn locked eyes with Harry who shrugged "I thought he wanted to sleep" "He did, I woke him up though" "Why?" Niall asked then and Zayn looked to the blond boy. "Because I needed to talk to him" He said simply and disappeared in a room. He found Liam laying in the bed sleeping and smiled to himself. He always had a weakness for Liam, especially when he was sleeping, he looked so innocent which he wasn't at all. Zayn bit his lip before jumping on his sleeping friend. Liam groaned at the sudden weight on his body "What the fuck?" Zayn laughed "Your own fault" Zayn teased "Zayn" Liam laughed "You are dumb" he added while Zayn sat up so he was sitting on Liam's lap "No, just bored“ Zayn said. "Oh, but well, we'll have a concert where we have to be in about three hours" Liam said. "Yeah, the car is picking us up in about fifteen minutes" Zayn got off of Liam to strech himself. While he strechted his arms towards the ceiling his shirt lifted up to show his navel. Liam might or might have not looked at it before he let his look wander up to his friends eyes "So, I guess you'll want to get ready" Zayn pressed his lips together before he left the room. Liam sat up and took a moment before he started to dress himself in something that didn't smell too bad. He had just put on his jeans and was about to get the shirt on that he had thrown on the bed, when his phone buzzed on the small table next to the bed. Liam glanced over, all he could see was the big M which stood for Management. He sighed, that was the forth time in that week when they texted him. They wanted to skype with him for some reason but he wasn't up for it. One of the reasons was because he had to skype them alone. When he got the first text, it was that day when Louis had told them he had a girlfriend. It confused him and he didn't want to believe that Louis' had been in a relationship all this time and didn't tell anyone, not even Harry. Probably that's why he ignored the message, wondering what will happen if he responds to it. Liam grabbed for the shirt on the bed, then the door opened and Zayn walked in, they locked eyes for a second before Liam pulled the shirt over his head. "The car is here" Zayn said while he catched his breath. It wasn't the first time he had seen Liam shirtless, he sees him numerous times each day without a layer over his chest and he sees him even naked half of the time. "Alright, I'll be downstairs in just a second" Liam smiled and turned around to not catch Zayn's eyes. Liam distracted himself by throwing the rest of the clothes near him into the bag. He could feel Zayn moving behind him, his deodorant slowly took over the tiny room. Liam bit his lip and started to close his bag. He suddenly felt a body next to him, their shoulders touching. "You forgot a sock Li" Zayn chuckled and picked up the sock that was laying next to the bag. "Oh, thanks" Liam took the sock out of Zayn's hand and shoved it into the bag. The air around them had gotten a lot thicker all of the sudden. Zayn walked back to his own bag on the floor, he bumbed his and Liam's shoulder as he walked by and Liam wasn't sure if he did it on purpose or not. He ended up shaking his head to himself, he was being ridiculous. He heard the door being opened behind him "Come on Li" Zayn called him and Liam took his small bag and followed Zayn out of the door "How long do you think it will take until we'll be at the venue?" Liam asked curious, "Don't know, Paul didn't tell me, he only told me when the car will be here" Zayn shrugged. The two boys made their way downstairs into the lobby. Once they had left the elevator a flashback from a couple weeks ago came back. Outside were so many people, bashing on the doors, windows, all they could see were people. They were screaming and singing and there was no way that anyone of them could breath, they we were pushed together and to just think about to walk through that crowd made Zayn sick. Liam gently laid his arm around Zayn to comfort him. "That is so cool" Niall glowed with a smile, so big the other boys thought it must hurt. The blond boy waved to the mass of people who went even more wilder then. "Guys!" Paul came towards them "Go back upstsairs so we can handle this down here" "But what about the concert?" Harry asked. "You'll be there on time, don't worry, and now go upstairs" He told them. Liam didn't need to be told twice before he turned around with Zayn towards the elevators. Liam didn't move his arm around Zayn until the elevator doors closed infront of them. "You alright?" Liam asked once the elevator moved up "Sure, Now I am" Zayn smiled weak. "I'm so glad that they didn't make us go through that" Zayn added and breathed out relieved "Well, there was literally no place for us to go anyways" Liam shrugged as they made their way back into a room. Louis, Harry and Niall were standing at the vending machine. "What do you get?" Louis asked the two boys while they were studying the different snacks. "Sour patch kids" Harry said. "I'll get cheerios" Niall said "You?" Harry looked to Louis "I think I'll go with skittles" He said. After they had gotten their stuff they looked in all three rooms which were rented for them to find Liam and Zayn. "Where the fuck are they?" Louis let his bag drop next to Niall's and Harry's which were on the floor already and let himself fall onto the bed. The other two boys followed his lead and they ended up wrestling each other. Louis' phone buzzed. After he had gotten it out and saw who it was, he smiled. "Hey Louis, just wanted to see how it goes? Everything's fine?" The message said. Louis bit his lip, that was nice that Eleanor cares, he got up off the bed to stand next to the window where he had a better connection "Hey, yes, everythings great. you? We were off to go to the venue for the concert but there are so many people we can't leave atm" Niall whistled from the bed where he strangled Harry "If Louis isn't texting with his chick" He chuckled and let go off Harry. "Shut up Ni" Louis blushed lightly and looked to Harry who looked down into his lap where he feelded with his fingers. "What is she saying?" Harry asked quiet before he looked up. He didn't like the feeling he had, he was scared that things will change between him and Louis. "She just wanted to know how it's going" In the middle of the sentence his phone buzzed and he said the last part more to himself than to the others. He laughed at the message and typed back immediately. He didn't notice that the door had opened and Liam and Zayn got in. "Hey guys" Liam waved "We can go-" Zayn started but Niall interrupted him "Shush, Louis is texting with his girl" Niall smirked and made a head motion to Louis who still was staring on the phone with a dumb smile. The smile wasn't fake, he honestly was glad to have a new friend who cares. Harry didn't dare to look up and bit his lip "I'll go to the bathroom real quick before we'll leave" He said before he got off the bed and walked out of the room with his bag. "He knows there is a bathroom in this room?" Liam asked the two who payed attention to him. They shrugged, having an idea why Harry wanted to leave the room as soon as possible. "Louis, let's go" Zayn called his friend who still hadn't payed any attention to the others who were waiting now at the door. Louis looked up and saw the three staring at him with their bags slung over their shoulders. He nodded and grabbed his own on his way to the door. "Where's Haz?" Louis asked as he walked passed the boys into the hallway. "Bathroom" Liam said and closed the door behind him since he was the last one leaving the room. Niall looked to his phone "He is already in the car, he just texted me" The blond shoved his phone back into his pocket and the boys made their way towards the car. Once they had gotten to the car Louis sat down next to Harry who had his head already resting against the window. "Anyone knows how long we will drive?" Louis asked hoping Harry will answer him. He looked hopeful to Harry but the boy didn't move nor made any attempt to give the older boy a sign he wanted any interaction. Louis thought he was asleep because Harry would never ignore him. Louis bit his lip and looked infront of him, the boys were watching him curious. "Anyone of you?" He asked then and locked eyes with the others for a couple moments. "Nope" Zayn yawned and moved in his seat until he was comfortable resting against Liam. The car started to drive which caused Harry's head to bumb against the window. "Ouch" He groaned and rubbed the part on his head. "I hate when this happens" The youngest boy pouted and the others laughed at him. "It's because you don't have a Liam who is comfortable" Zayn stuck his tongue out while his head rested on Liam's shoulder. "Exactly" Niall agreed and cuddled into Liam's other side. "Damn Liam, you are a wild boy" Louis chuckled and saw Harry's face falling into a dimple smile before he opened his mouth and let out a laugh. If you would ask Louis what is favorite part of today was, he would say this. He was glad he could make Harry laugh, he loved his smile and laugh but he loved it more when he was the reason of it. "Two boys at a time Liam, and people say I'm the wild boy in the band" Harry laughed with Louis and Liam blushed while the other two chuckled to themselves. They fell into a nice silence. Zayn closed his eyes again and kept his head on Liam's shoulder. Niall sat up straight again to play on his phone. Liam moved once he felt Niall's head dissappearing to cuddle closer to Zayn to get the lost warmth from him. When the car finally came to a full stop the boys jumbed out of the car all at once. They loved traveling and they loved to see new places but the ride until they were at their destination was sometimes really exhausting. Luckily they had off time until the concert would start. The boys decided to grab something to eat after they had played football for a while. The boys sat in a room and were spread over the two couches which stood infront of each other. "So, today first concert for the last leg of the tour" Liam said while he poured milk into his cereal bowl. "Yes, the time went by so fast" Harry said and started to peel a banana. The boys just had finished eating when they got called back. "Guys, come on you gotta get ready" Paul said and the boys left the room to get to the dressing room. "Liam" Paul called Liam back "Yes?" "I have been getting messages from Simon that you are not responding your messages from Management" "Yeah, I forgot" Liam said and bit his lip, he knew now there is no way he can push it away any longer. No matter what they had planned, he is going to find out soon. "Tomorrow morning at nine, be ready, They want to talk to you" Liam bit his lip and nodded "Alright" he locked eyes with Paul one last time and followed the boys into the dressing room to get ready for their concert.


	8. *Liam*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter didn't want to be written. I had a hard time lol I hope you enjoy tho!
> 
> summary: Blowjob; Skype meeting with Management

Liam couldn't sleep that night. He climbed out of his bunk bed and got himself a cup of water. He wished the bus wouldn't be on a highway so he could go outside for just a second to breath. He didn't like it to have a meeting with their management without the boys, simply because they were a band and best friends, so it doesn't matter what management wants to talk about, the boys will find out sooner or later so they just could have come with him already.

"Li, you alright?"

Liam saw Zayn's head peeking out behind of the curtain. "Yeah" he answered but avioded his friends eyes "No you are not" Zayn argued and got up. "Do you feel sick?" Zayn asked worried and laid one arm around Liam to pull him into his side once he was next to his friend. "Yes, kind of" Liam admitted and nuzzled his head into Zayn's neck.

"You wanna tell me?" Zayn rested his head ontop of Liam's for comfort.

Liam didn't answer. "Is it because of me?" Zayn asked quiet and Liam bit his lip, "No" Liam said more than confident, he could feel Zayn relax.

"It's because Management keeps sending me messages to meet them...alone" "And?" "I'm scared that I'm in trouble" "You are not Li, I promise, they'll probably just want an update on how the tour goes" Zayn ressured Liam. "Maybe you are right" Liam whispered.

"I'm pretty sure that I am" Zayn pecked Liams forehead. "You wanna go back to bed?"

"No, I'm not tired anymore" Liam said honest and enjoyed the warmth from his friend. Liam closed his eyes as he felt Zayn's warm breath hit the side of his neck, he felt himself calm down. Zayn was right, Management have done that a couple times before, when they just wanted to meet one of them to see how the tour goes.

Liam felt Zayn's hand moving slowly up and down his back, the younger boy would have lied if he said he didn't like it and wanted Zayn to stop and Zayn knew that. Liam breathed in before leaning more against Zayn "We didn't have much time" Zayn whispered so Liam could barely hear it, before he attached his mouth to Liam's neck.

"Z-Zayn" Liam breathed out as he felt his pants already getting tighter. He wanted to slap himself for being so needy lately but it was Zayn so there wasn't anything he could do. As Louis was gone they knew they couldn't just disappear for long because Harry would have looked for them and he would have eventually found them and that wouldn't be good.

"What?" Zayn asked between hot kisses which he left on Liam's neck. "The boys are here" Liam said and made a weak hand gesture towards the bunk beds "I know" Zayn started to suck on the thin skin on Liam's neck.

Liam pressed his eyes together and held his breath while Zayn was sucking on his soft skin to make it purple. "Then at least let's get into the bathroom" Liam managed to say once Zayn had pulled away. "Alright" A shiver went down Liam's spinal, Zayn was still so close.

Liam could feel every breath against in skin, but everytime it was on a different spot. First it was his cheek, then the hot air got closer to his chin before a soft kiss was placed on his lips.

Liam wanted to kiss back but was faced with just air, then he opened his eyes and catched Zayn's. They blinked once, before going past the bunks to get into the tiny bathroom in the back of the bus.

As soon as Liam had locked the door he got pressed against it and then a pair of lips crashed onto his own. He felt Zayn's hands on his waist holding him tight, then Zayn let his thumbs slip behind the strap to pull the pants over the waist so it would fall down to Liam's ankles on its own. Liam didn't wear trousers and his hard on was laying flat against his stomach.

Zayn pressed his lower body against Liam's who let out a moan into the black haired boy's mouth, Zayn took the opportunity and let his tongue slide in, while he grabbed for Liam's crotch to give it a stroke.

Liam let a out a groan and burried his nails in Zayn's back. If he wasn't occupied with Zayn's tongue he would have moaned. Zayn pulled back a bit and laid their foreheads together.

"Please" Liam pleaded and felt Zayn's breath at his neck, then chest down to his belly.

Zayn took Liam full in his mouth and Liam grabbed for Zayn's hair and bit his lip.

"I want to hear you" Zayn said quiet as he pulled away to breath before swallowing Liam again.

"But-" Liam started before he a moan left his mouth. "The boys-Oh-They'll hear"

Liam looked down and catched Zayns eyes who looked up with his dick in his mouth.

"You look so good" Liam said then and Zayn continued. The boy against the door took that as a 'Fuck it' and went along with it.

Liam got closer to the edge and pressed himself more against the closed door to keep his balance. "Zayn" He moaned, his sweaty body pressed against the door, some of his hair were stuck to his forehead and eyes closed while he came down Zayn's throat.

Liam forced his eyes open to see Zayn swallowing around him, the boy on the tiles pulled away and got up, he rested both of his hands next to Liam's head against the door.  
"Are you tired now?" He smirked and Liam nodded. "Good" Zayn added and unlocked the door.

"Wait" Liam said "What about you?" He asked and Zayn chuckled "I'm fine, I just thought you needed some relaxing" Liam nodded and Zayn was right, he felt a lot better now.

"Thanks" Liam said and Zayn nodded "See ya tomorrow then" Zayn said while Liam moved away from the door so Zayn could leave.

He put his joggy pants back on again and opened the tiny window since it smelled like murder in here and then he left to sleep for a few more hours before the meeting.

It wasn't the first time that had happened, the thing with Zayn and Liam. The first time was at a party half a year ago, they had a lot of alcohol in their system and decided it'd be a good idea to blow each other. Surprsingly the next day when they woke up covered in cum next to each other, and they were sure both of them didn't have a sting in their bum, they started laughing.

It was funny that they ended in bed with each other and not with some hot chick from the party who could have been pregnant now.

It was relieving for Liam to know that Zayn wasn't with someone else though. He kind of always had admired the boy in more than just a friend-ly way, at the beginning he tried to ignore it and even tried to get away from it. 

As it happened a second time Liam was sober and so was Zayn.

It was about two weeks after the first time had happened and Liam was so frustrated that he was shaking. He got himself off twice a day. And like Zayn knew what was going on behind that door, theb black haired boy walked in on him as he was about to cum. Liam's boxers and pants were laying on the floor near the bed and Liam himself only wore a shirt, while he laid on the hotelroom bed with spread out legs.

Liam had stopped stroking and stared at Zayn, he wasn't embarresed, his only thought was that Zayn should come and finish it.

Zayn had bitten his lip and made his way over towards Liam not breaking eye contact while he hovered over Liam. The almost naked boy closed his eyes once he felt a kiss pressed underneath his belly botton. "Zayn" He moaned before the other boy took Liam's length into his mouth.

A couple seconds later Liam came, his eyes were still closed, the room started to spin and he let himself come off his high.

Once he felt hot air hitting his face he opened his eyes and stared right into Zayn's who opened his mouth to say something but Liam's brain was off and he pulled Zayn in to connect their lips in a wet kiss.

Zayn moaned into his mouth and Liam got a hold of Zayn's belt to open it. Soon after his pants were off and Liam really wanted to touch Zayn's stiff cock and fill his mouth with it.

The younger boy let his hands go under Zayn's shirt to pull it off and as they parted their lips for a moment to breath, Zayn took the moment to pull Liam's shirt off aswell.

They rocked their crotches together and moaned into each others mouths for awhile until Liam turned them so he was ontop of his friend.

He never wanted to see Zayn cum infront of him more than he wanted in that moment. He sucked on Zayn's neck for a moment before he kissed his way down to Zayn's V line, he stopped and looked up to Zayn.

He looked so done, his hair a mess and wet by the sweat, Liam even catched a sweat-drop wander down Zayn's cheek as he looked down to him with wide eyes "Don't tease" Zayn breathed out and rocked his hips up.

Liam didn't need to be told twice before he sank down to take him in.

A couple days after that they had talked about it, not in a forced way it happened more natural. They both agreed to continue with it, because it would 'relieve the stress' and maybe they used Harry and Louis as an argument saying "Harry and Louis do it too and it works out great for them" But the real reason why they had used Harry and Louis as an valid argument was, so they didn't have to admit that they actually liked it and wanted to continue with it.

 

Liam woke up in the tour bus as his phone started to vibrate. It was Paul, great. "Yes?" He whispered shoving the blanket off of him and hung his feed over the edge of his bunk and rubbed his eyes. "...Alright, I'll be there" Liam agreed and jumped down to get to brush his teeth.

It was 8:45, in fifteen minutes the meeting will start and he had yet to get dressed and eat breakfast.

After Liam was done brushing his teeth he grabbed a shirt off the floor, he knew it was the shirt Zayn had worn the other day and it even smelled like him and for once he was glad that the boys have been wearing each other clothes since the beginning so no one would question why he would wear Zayn's shirt.

He then grabbed for a pair of new boxers and pants and left the tour bus which seemed to be staying in an underground garage again since it smelled like gas. Liam followed a light and opened the door where he already heard Paul talking. "I don't think he'll do it" was the last thing Liam catched Paul saying before he entered the room.

"Morning" Liam greeted and Paul looked up from his laptop. "Hey Liam" Paul smiled and waved Liam over to his side. When Liam was standing next to Paul he saw his management on the screen, he took a deep breath in and smiled before he greeted them aswell.

"So Liam, how are you?" A lady asked and Liam nodded "Good" "How is the tour going?" "Great, but we are glad it's going into the last months" Liam said honest knowing that this is just the beginning of the meeting.

"Ok, we won't talk around the horse" A man on the screen said and Liam looked to him and waited what he will say.

"We'd like to record with you some solo previews"

Liam stared at the man. He didn't hear right, no. "What?" Liam said shocked and shook his head at the same time.

"It isn't anything confendital" Another man said on the screen.

Liam looked to Paul who shrugged but Liam could tell he wasn't happy about the idea either. "It's your decision" He said then and petted Liams back.

The young boy stared back into the camera for a second and then back to the screen and shook his head. "Why do you ask me that?" He asked curious and raised one eyebrow. He would never ever do that, he loved his boys and to think about it for a second to do all of that on his own, just didn't feel right and he started to feel sick.

"Because we know that you could do better" A lady said without hesitation.

"Better? Without the boys?" Liam wasn't happy about the idea at all.

"Yes, I mean, you can't say that it's normal to keep touching your bandmates"

"Well, but this is how we are" Liam argued, he didn't get why that was a problem all of the sudden.

"And also, I know that not all of them take it as serious as you do"

"What do you mean?"

"We can tell that you are like a punching bag for Louis" A man said and Liam immediately shook his head. Why would they use Louis as a reason that Liam would betray his boys like that.

"No, I'm not" Liam said and shook his head once more.

"We can see that he is bringing you down, in interviews he is rude an-"

Liam cut the man off "No, you don't know anything, he is nothing like that" He defended his friend. This was just how Louis was but Liam knew that he didn't mean it and Louis was always there for him when he needed someone.

"Well anyways, you should think about it, it really just would be to see how it goes" "No" Liam said confident and without any hesitation. "You can think about it, just let us know" The lady said again. "No I don't have to think about it" Liam said angry and left the room.

Paul ran after him and caught him before he could leave the building. "Liam, wait" "What?" He was angry and he didn't know why.

"Liam" Paul said calm and pulled the boy into his arms. "Why would they do that? Have they asked the others too?" Liam asked while he pulled back from the strong man. "No" "But why?" Liam asked again but Paul didn't answer.

"I will pick you guys up in two hours, alright?" Paul said instead and Liam nodded before he walked back into the bus. He felt alone all of the sudden even though he knew his boys were right here, he pushed the curtain open from Harry's bunk and he smiled, the youngest boy was curled up with the pink blanket he had gotten from a fan, Louis has the same one in blue.

He then opened the curtain to look at Louis, he seemed cold and alone something that Liam barely noticed with the eldest. Maybe it was because he wasn't with Harry right now or he was getting sick.

After Louis, Liam opened the curtain to Niall's bunk, the blond boy was facing the wall but Liam could imagine the boy's face, mouth slightly open and pink cheeks.

Liam looked at Zayn at last on purpose, he wondered how weird it would be for Zayn if he would just get into his bunk. He wondered that many times, for Harry and Louis it was normal to share a bunk or a bed but it was because they always had been sharing everything.

But the thing was Liam and Zayn weren't like them. First, they apparently don't give each other blow-jobs like Zayn and Liam do, Louis is in a comitted relationship and Harry is the youngest, it's probably just a protectiveness that Louis has over the youngest since he had grown up with younger sisters. But then again, Liam couldn't stop himself from still thinking that there have to be some kind of feelings between them, even if Louis is in a relationship.

Liam shook his head, who is he to judge if there are any feeling between them. He couldn't even get over the fact that he, himself, had feelings towards his best friend and he just didn't have the guts to make a move.

But now, he just wanted to feel save and someone beside him, so he climbed into the tiny bunk and got under Zayn's blanket.

"Li?" Zayn asked quiet and a little surprised as he felt the younger boy behind him.

"Yeah" Liam said and hoped Zayn would stop with the questions and just be there and as Zayn could read Liam's thoughts, the boy scooted with his back closer to Liam's front and grabbed blind for Liam's hands to pull him closer. Liam nuzzled his face against Zayn's neck, he didn't feel alone anymore.

 

"ZAYN!"

Liam woke up from the yell, it was Louis. Zayn groaned "Shut up Louis"

"Liam is-" The curtain was pulled back to let the light in. "God Louis" Liam groaned and hid his face more into Zayns neck to be faced with darkness again.

"Damn Li, we have been looking for you" "Well I have been here the whole time" Liam said and turned on his back, he was awake now.

"Yes I see, anyways get up now, Paul said we need to be ready in twenty minutes" Louis walked away and left the curtain open.

Liam knew if he wouldn't get up now he wouldn't get up at all, so he forced himself up and jumbed off the bed.

 

Liam couldn't stop himself, something was different between him and Zayn, he couldn't say yet if the change was good or bad but he felt like something changed that moment he had laid down behind him in the bunk.

He also noticed Louis glancing at him many times during breakfast, he was the only one who was in the bus as Louis opened the curtain so the others had no clue, not that Liam would be bothered if they knew too.  
But something about Louis made Liam uncomfortable it was like he knew what was going on in his mind. So after breakfast when Liam said he needed to go to the bathroom an arm slung around his shoulder and lead him away.

"Louis I really gotta go to the bathroom" Liam said and hoped Louis would let him go. "No, you don't" Louis said and pulled him into a room where just a couch and a TV were in.

Liam knew he had no chance escaping and sat down on the couch, Louis sat down next to him after he had closed the door.

Liam was scared, he didn't want to talk about whatever Louis was going to ask. "What?" He said and hoped Louis wasn't going to ask about Zayn.

"Where have you been this morning?"

Liam locked eyes with Louis and breathed out. "Paul wanted to talk to me" "About what?" "About the tour, how it goes, no big deal" "You seemed really overhelmed to me and then you checked on all of us and ended up in Zayn's bunk" Louis stated the facts.

"What-Louis-Were you stalking me?" Liam asked and chuckled but Louis didn't even twitch his lips, he was serious and Louis barely was serious.

"Listen Louis, it was nothing, really" "And then why was Paul hugging you?"

Liam shrugged hoping Louis would just drop it.

"I don't believe you" Louis said and locked eyes with Liam "I gotta go, see you later" Liam said and left Louis in the room behind.

Liam walked back into the room to the others, he automatically sat down next to Zayn. "How was the meeting?" He asked and Liam bit his lip "He just wanted to know how the tour goes" Liam lied.

"See? I told you" Zayn bumbed their shoulders.

"Where's Lou?" Harry asked as he stopped playing table tennis with Niall. "I'm here" Louis smiled while he closed the door behind him.

Liam watched the two sharing a weak smile before Louis walked towards the younger boy. "So Nialler, you against Harry and me" He said and Niall pouted "But then I'll get Zayn"

"But then Liam is alone" Zayn said and looked to Liam who chuckled "You guys can play, I wanted to call my Mom anyways"

Liam got up and promised to tell his Mom hi from the boys before he left the room.

Paul catched him before Liam could leave the building. "Liam, wait" The boy turned around "Hey Paul" "Where are you going?" "I wanted to call my Mom real quick" "Alright, but make sure that you are back in fifty minutes for the soundcheck" Liam nodded before pushing the door open.

He walked up some stairs which lead to the roof so he was finally breathing some fresh air, he needed it.

Liam got his phone out and dailed the number of his Mom. He bit his lip as he remembered the different time zones. What if his Mom was already asleep, he was about to hung up when he heard his Mom's voice. 

"Liam"

"Hey Mom" Liam looked into the sky, this was the closest he could get to her at the moment. "How are you baby?" "I'm good Mom and you?" "I'm great, it's so good to hear your voice" Liam chuckled, it couldn't be any better than to hear hers. "Great to hear yours too"

Liam closed his eyes, he knew his Mom was fighting with his tears right now just like him.

"Liam, love, what is going on?" His Mom asked worried and Liam closed his eyes. He wanted to tell her everything, about the thing with Zayn, his feelings towards him and that his management wants to make a couple solo tracks with him but he knew the part with Zayn wouldn't be the smartest thing to tell your Mom on the phone.

Whose Mom would like to hear that their son is blowing and is being blowed by his bandmate/best friend? And if he would tell her about the meeting, well, he wasn't so sure if that was a good idea either.  
"I just wanted to hear your voice Mom" Liam said instead and pressed his lips together.

"Sweety talk to me, doesn't matter what it is" Karen pleaded her son on the other side of the line. "Well...I don't know, I guess I have been stuck with the boys for far too long, anyways, I gotta go, alright?" "Sure" "Oh, the boys say hi" "Tell them Hi back" "Alright, I'll call you i love you" "I love you too"

He hung up and laid his phone down beside him. He was glad he had a couple minutes to himself, he needed to get his thoughts cleared out. "I don't have any feelings for-" Liam started to say outloud when he heard a noise behind him. He turned around and wasn't surprised when he saw Louis and Harry.

"Guys" Liam groaned and wondered if they would have heard anything, one look at their smirks told him, yes, they've had.

"What?" Liam rolled his eyes. "Continue with what you were saying?" Harry grinned at him. "I just wanted to say that I dont feel like doing anything today" "Of course you were" Louis rolled his eyes.

"What are you two even doing here?" "We just wanted to get some fresh air" Harry shrugged as the two sat down next to Liam. "Of course you were" Liam teased like Louis had. "Ey, no more jokes I'm in a relationship" Louis stated and Liam shook his head with a grin and rolled his eyes.

"You know, that doesn't need to mean anything" Liam said and got up. "What do you mean?" Louis asked Liam but the other boy shrugged him off and walked down the stairs.

 

Soundchek wasn't any different like the hundret times before that either. They joked around, annoyed the crew by not being focused enough and ended up in a wrestling fight on stage.

After they all made it through soundcheck with a couple bruises they laid in the tour bus and laughed.

"They were so pissed" Harry laughed "Yep it was per-fect" Louis acted Leroy from the best song ever music video and high fived Harry.

"You are stupid" Liam laughed and hid his face behind Zayn as he blushed, not a second later Liam felt Zayn's hand on his leg "At least you didn't have to wear a dress and pumps" Zayn said and Niall laughed 

"Harry seemed to like you though"

"I knew you were jealous Niall" Harry joked and Niall laid his arm around Zayn and pulled him into his lap, away from Liam. "Yep, Zayn's mine" Niall joked.

"I guess you'll get in trouble with Liam though" Louis said and Liam's eyes widened. He knew they were just joking but he couldn't stop himself from feeling like Louis knew something.

Liam then felt himself being pulled into a body "Don't worry Li, enough Zayn for all" Zayn said and chuckled.

"Nah, I'll pass, I'm good with having Harlod for myself" Louis said and pulled the younger boy, who was weirdly quiet now, into his chest.

"Yeah, no one is coming into our bromance" Harry said then and chuckled.

"You two are so cute" Niall said.

Before anyone could respond, the door opened and Paul got in. He raised his eyebrow at the boys as he saw Louis and Harry were tangled on one couch and Liam, Zayn and Niall on the other.

The boys looked to Paul but he kept his eyes on Liam "Lunch is ready" He said and the boys untied each other and followed the big man out of the Tour bus.

After lunch Louis took Zayn with him outside to play some football since Harry said he wanted to sleep a little bit and Niall had been gone ever since he had left the table to go to the bathroom after he had finished his plate.

Liam played on his phone as he got another message from Management. "The offer is still on, just let us know"

Liam stared at the message. He would lie if he would say he wasn't interested at all but he couldn't do it. He couldn't even stand to do an interview on his own and it felt wrong to even think about doing that all on his own.

He didn't answer the message and shoved the phone back into his pocket. The door opened and Niall got in. "Hey Nialler" Liam greeted bis blond friend.

"Hey Li" Niall sat down on a chair. "You alright?" Liam asked as he noticed Niall's empty eyes. "Yeah" Niall said and placed a smile on his lips, Liam saw it was fake but didn't push his younger friend.

"Wanna play some table tennis?" Liam asked instead and Niall nodded "Sure"

To play table tennis was actually quite relaxing for Liam, not only he spent some time with Niall but also he got time to do something else than to make himself go crazy about his thoughts and managements plans. And it felt good to be around Niall, to just hang out with ihm and play something just for fun.

Slowly the other boys got in aswell, first Zayn and Louis who watched them play and then Harry who was rubbing his eyes and yawned as he closed the door behind himself. Liam noticed how Louis and Harry shared a smile once again, that's something he always notices, their smiles to one another when one of them would get into a room

But then the moment flew by as fast as it had come as Louis' phone rang. He picked up "Oh, hey El" He said and disappeared out of the room. Liam kept his eyes on Harry though and noticed how the younger boy looked to his feed and walked to the couch quietly and sat down next to him.

 

After the concert the boys were lead back into the Tour bus. "Ok, it's midnight snack-time" Louis clapped into his hands while he grabed the cereal box out of the cupboard. "Yes, anyone else?" Harry asked while he was getting two bowls out for himself and Louis. "Yes" Liam said and Zayn raised his hand too.

"No, I'm good, I'm gonna go to bed" Niall said and smiled "See ya guys tomorrow" The blond boy said and climbed without another word into his bunk.

The other boys ate quietly, Harry and Louis were whispering to each other and Liam and Zayn watched them. "So, you know where we will be tomorrow?" Liam asked Zayn as he turned his attention away from the boys infront of him. "Nope" Zayn said and shook his head before he finished his bowl.

Liam sighed, he guessed he had to wait until tomorrow to find out. Liam got up and took his and Zayn's bowl to set them into the sink, he wasn't going to clean it, tomorrow they'll have a dishwasher in the common room so they can just stay in the sink over night.

When Liam turned around, he saw Harry and Louis making their way towards their bunks. "Good night guys" Louis said before he climbed into his bunk. "Night" Harry locked eyes with Liam and Zayn before he disappeared in his own bunk aswell.

Liam knew that by tomorrow Louis and Harry will come out of one bunk anyways but he shrugged it off. The younger boy suddenly felt a presence close behind him, strong arms suddenly reached around his body to set two bowls down into the sink. Zayn.

"I'm going to bed too Li" "Alright, good night" "Good night" Zayn petted Liam's shoulders before he left. Liam took a deep breath in at the sudden loss of warmth, He stood there for another moment before he also made his way into his own bunk.

Liam laid awake for awhile, he was thinking about the last couple days, then he suddenly heard moving behind his curtain, he smiled to himself, either Harry or Louis was making their way into the other's bed. He waited for the quiet whispers but it never came. He shrugged it off before he fell asleep.

The next morning, like expected they were still on the road, by the time when Liam got up Harry, Louis and Zayn were alreay playing x-box. Liam sat down next to Louis, he was too tired to walk all the way to the other end of the couch to Zayn and he was too clumsy on his feed to keep his balance since he had just woken up and the bus was still on a highway.

"So, another day closer to the end of the Tour" Liam said and the other boys nodded in agreement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> any questions or you want to sent some encouraging words to motivate me to write or you have any tips what i can do better send a message to my [ tumblr](http://niallbieberlarryziam.tumblr.com/MessageMe)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another Interview  
> Something's wrong with Niall  
> Louis needs to stay awa from Harry

24th February 

Six hours later the boys were at the their new destination, none of them payed attention to the street to see in which state they were in, they were focused on the small TV in the bus where Friends was on while the bus came to a stop.

"Anyone knows the plans for today?" Louis asked and rubbed his eyes. He didn't sleep at all, he wanted to climb into the bed to Harry but for some reason he didn't do it. The eldest put on some shoes while he looked out of the window to see some crew members walking past the bus.

"Nope, but I guess we will soon" Harry said and grabbed some shoes himself. The boys made their way out of the bus and walked around to find Paul. They were so glad to finally be able to walk after the long ride. After a while they found Paul talking to a Securitiy guard.

"Hey Paul" The boys interupted him in the middle of his conversation. "Guys, one moment" He said without taking his attention away from the man he was talking to.

A couple moments later the man walked away and Paul turned to the boys, locking eyes with everyone. "You will have an Interview in about two hours, in the common room is breakfast if you are hungry and the M&G starts at five" Paul said and the boys nodded.

The boys walked into the common room to get something different than cereals into their stomachs. When they entered the room their cook told them to eat a fruit or something healthy since she knew they had cereals yesterday after the concert and this morning.

"So, I'm going to work-out before the Interview, anyone wants to join?" Liam asked "Sure" Zayn agreed and Louis nodded "Sounds good, haven't worked out in a while" Niall chuckled "You don't have to work out Louis, you got a girlfriend" The blond boy said.

Louis locked eyes with Niall who immediately stopped laughing as their eyes met. "Louis never fucked her Ni" Zayn said casual and took another bite of his apple.

Liam who sat next to him was more focused to watch Zayn's mouth getting attached to the apple, the tongue was first wandering over the area and then the lips were closing around it. That all happened to Liam in slowmotion so he was shocked when Zayn opened his mouth and his voice filled the room. "Am I right Tommo" Zayn chuckeld and grinned at him.

"I hate you Malik" Louis laughed and rolled his eyes. He thought he could trust the boy with that but apperently he was wrong, but if he was honest, he wasn't surprised or mad at the other boy, he knew nothing could stay a secret for long between those five anyways. As soon as you told one it'll come up in someway and they also knew that they never had to be scared that something would leave their mouths outside of their group .

The boys kept looking to Niall who was more licking the banana than actually eating it. He had also been really quiet, he just put on his smile or laughed when you looked at him and the boys didn't know what it could be. This had been going on for a while now, since they had noticed a change in their friend, he seemed tired most of the time and had a missing sparkle in his eyes.

"Niall, what's wrong?" Zayn asked worried and tried to lock eyes with the boy. "Nothing" Niall said and placed a smile on his lips. "Come on, you have been acting weird for a while now" Harry added and laid his banana peel on the table infront of him before he looked up to Niall.

"I'm good" Niall said again and laid the half eaten banana on the table. "Ni, you need a cuddle" Louis said and reached out for the boy to pull him into his space and the others joined. "You guys are stupid, I'm good" Niall chuckled but didn't make a motion to lay his arms around his friends.

"Come on Ni, what's been bothering you?" Liam asked as they all pulled away from the blond boy.

"Nothing, just feel like I'm coming down with something" He said and got up "I gotta go" He said and got up, the four boys looked after him until he was out of their sight.

 

The boys were sitting in a spare room and waited until the interviewer infront of them gave them a sign to stop feedling with each other.

They had a couch to sit on, it was just big enough for Harry Zayn and Liam and Louis and Niall had to sit behind them on the back rest. None of them minded though and especially Louis, he shoved his hands through the boys hair who sat on a lower level infront of him.

"Lou" Harry laughed while he felt his hair being made into a mess. "Stop it" He chuckled but Louis didn't listen. "Nope" He said and laid his hands on the boy's eyes.

"God, you know if Harry was a bird the Mom bird would abond him because he would smell like you all over his body" Liam said and Zayn nodded to agree with the boy next to him.

Louis shrugged. "Good, then I can keep him" "But what does Eleanor say about it?" Zayn asked curious and Louis locked eyes with him.

Right, he had a girlfriend. Louis took his hands back into his lap and Harry shook his hair so they were laying in their everyday-mess again.

Louis wanted to answer Zayn but the lady stopped playing on her phone and looked up with a smile.

"Hey" She said and the boys waved at her saying their Hi's back. The boys noticed a red lamp going on at the camera and they tried to focus now.

"So, how is the tour been going?" She asked to start the interview. "It's been going great, we have seen so many different places and the fans have been so supportive everywhere it's wicked" Liam said and the other four nodded along.

"So, who is single?" She asked then and they all raised their hands. Louis wasn't really thinking about it at that moment, it just happened without him noticing until the interviewer locked eyes with him and raised her eyebrow.

"Oh right" He chuckled and put his hand back down into his lap. "Don't tell her" He laughed it off and luckily the interviewer laughed with him.

"So, Louis, her name is Eleanor?" Louis bit his lip and nodded. "Yes" "So, tell us about her" The lady grinned and Louis looked to his side and locked eyes with Liam and Zayn. "Well" He looked back to the interviewer. "She is cool" He said awkward and with a dumb grin.

Louis felt so uncomfortable.

"I got questions from worried fans asking about you bromance with Harry, it's not going to change, will it?" Louis' eyes widened but then a smile crossed his lips as he laid his arms around the boy infront of him.  
"No, of course not. Our bromance is still going strong, right Curly"

"Of course" Louis heard the smile in the other boy's voice while the younger boy leaned back into his arms. "See" Louis said proud and looked to the interviewer while he had the younger boy still in his chest. He looked behind the camera where Paul shook his head and Louis took a moment to realize why, but then he remembered. The reason why he had Eleanor was because of the rumours between him and Harry.  
The oldest pulled away "Still best friends, nothing more and nothing less" He added and the interviewer nodded. "So, can you give us some details about your girlfriend?"

"Well, she is funny" He said and hoped this was what the interviewer wanted to hear, but when she giggled he knew he was wrong.  
"That's good to know, but how have you met?"

"Well, I knew her cousin from school and I met her in the mall when she was with Eleanor that day, so we talked" He stumbled over his words hoping he got the story out right.

"That's great, and what do the other boys think about her?" She asked and looked to the others.

"Well, we haven't met her yet but we were skyping when Louis was home and she was really nice" Zayn said. "Yeah, they are similiar in some ways and we look forward to meet her" Liam added.

"Harry, you as his closest friend, how do you feel about it?" Harry's eyes widened and he stared at the interviewer for a moment too long. Liam who sat next to him bumbed their knees to get his attention back.

"Well, she makes him happy so it's alright I guess" "It was for us all a surprise actually, you probably knew it before anyone else, haven't you?" The Interviewer asked the curly haired boy.

Harry shook his head and he hoped that no one could see how hurt he actually was inside. "No, actually it was for us all a surprise, but she is really nice and he can't stop smiling at his phone so it's great to see him so happy" Harry blurred out in one breath.

"So you didn't know either?" The interviewer asked surprised and locked eyes with Louis "You kept something like that from your best friends?" She added

Louis blushed "Well, I didn't know if it will work out with El since we are still in the middle of the tour but then it just happened" He said.

The interviewer chuckled "Well then I wish you good luck with you and your beautiful Girlfriend" "Thank you" Louis smiled.

The lamp went off and the boys breathed for a second. "Thank you so much for your time" The interviewer said and the boys nodded and thanked her too.

 

The boys decided to play some football, Niall first said he wanted to sleep but the boys pulled him after them without hesitation. Whatever it was that bothered the boy, he needed to get his mind off of it since he won't talk to them.

On the way outside Zayn's phone rang. "Guys I'll meet you in a moment" "Ok" Liam acknowledged him with a smile and a hand wave before he followed the others.

The boys played football and even though they were sure it only had been fifteen minutes since they had started to play, they had to get ready for the M&G.

The boys were in their dressing room to change into-fresh clothes so they wouldn't smell since they had been wearing the same clothes for weeks now.

Louis got a message on his phone, it was from Simon. "Call me ASAP" Louis wrinkled his eyebrows, what does he want now? He quick pulled the shirt over his head and left the room.

"Hey Simon" He said once the man had picked up. "Louis, are you alone at the moment?" "Yes" Louis sighed as he walked around outside.

"I wanted to talk about the interview" "What?" He rolled his eyes to himself and waited for the man to continue.

"A couple things, first, we gave you Eleanor to stop with the rumours between you and Harry but that is going to be hard if you continue like that" "What?" Louis was confused what the fuck is he talking about?

"I mean if you continue with touching him like you have been doing, it's not going to work" "And what should I do instead?" "Just turn it down in interviews and on the stage, just generally in puplic" Louis sighed "You are pathetic Simon"

"No, I just try to save your career" He said. "And Louis? Have you told the boys?" He asked and Louis bit his lip "None of your business what I told them" Louis gifted and hung up.

"Idiot" Louis whispered and walked back into the dressing room. He immediately locked eyes with Harry. "Ready for the M&G?" He cheered and looked to the others.

"Yes" Zayn cheered back and fist bumbed his friend. "Where is Nialler?" Louis asked and locked eyes with Liam. "He went to the bathroom" "I swear the next time I will follow him to see what he is doing" Louis said worried and Liam nodded "Same"

 

After the M&G Zayn and Liam disappeared once again and Niall went to get some rest before the show, so Louis and Harry were left alone in the common room.

Louis' phone vibrated, it was his Mom, she wanted to know how things were going. "My Mom wants to know what I'm doing, let's sent her a picture" Louis chuckled while he leaned closer to Harry while he held his phone further away so both of them could see themselves on the phone.

Harry leaned in closer too and both pulled a funny face, the two boys were laughing at the ridiculous picture.

His Mom sent a picture back with her and the girls.

"I miss them" Harry said as he leaned back and let his arm hang over the edge. Louis laid his phone infront of him on the table and then turned to Harry.

"I told Daisy you would go with her and Phoebe and me after the Tour to Disneyland" "Yeah she told me, why did you say that?" "Because she was pouting" "Why?" Harry chuckled.

"Because you didn't come with me, so you need to make up for it" "I would have come if Paul would have let me" "I know Curly"

The conversation was leading into a direction none of them felt comfortable with, so they left it there.

 

The day went by fast once the M&G was over. Normally they had a couple hours left but today they needed to get right from the M&G to the dressing room to get ready for the concert.

On stage Louis walked over to Harry and laid his arm around him, it's not like the others wouldn't do the same, but he noticed Paul trying to get his attention from the side of the stage.

Louis looked over and raised his eyebrow when Paul shook his head and motioned for him to go away from Harry.

Harry noticed and looked questioning to Louis once he had pulled his arm away. Louis shrugged to let Harry know he had no idea what was up either. So for the rest of the concert Louis stayed on the right side of the stage and Harry on the left.

After the boys had showered and were settled in the Tour bus for something to eat, Harry had the time to ask Louis what was going on but Liam had noticed too and asked first.

"What the fuck was going on between Harry and you during Over Again?" Liam asked and Harry shrugged "Paul shook his head to us, he didn't want us to interact" Harry sounded angry and hurt at the same time. "What? Why?" Zayn asked unbelievable and Louis shrugged.

"Louis?" Liam asked and the oldest shrugged again. "You know something" Zayn stated and kept his eyes on the boy which caused Louis to shift uncomfortable in his seat.

"Well, Simon called me today and told me I need to turn it down with Harry" He admitted. Niall's eyes shot up for the first time "What?" He asked. "Yeah, I reacted the same" Louis nodded.

"But why?" Harry asked. "I don't know, he told me that we need to be careful so people would stop thinking that there is anything between us" "That is stupid" Niall said and shook his head. "I know" Louis said.

"But you have a girlfriend" Harry said. "I know, tell that Simon" Louis rolled his eyes before he thought about it.

Not a second later Harry pulled his phone out "You are right" He said and held the phone to his ear.

"Harry-!" Louis said quick but the younger boy already started to yell at the man on the other line.

Louis prayed Simon wasn't going to tell him anything. Liam and Zayn tried not to laugh, it wasn't often you saw Harry yelling at someone.

"Alright" Harry said calm as he put his phone back into his pocket. "We have the dumbest Management in the world" He said and sat down next to Louis again. "What did he say?" Niall asked. "He wanted to know if Louis told us about his meeting with management where they told him that Louis and me should turn it down" Harry said "Was that why you never told us about your meeting?" Harry asked Louis.

Louis nodded "I wanted to see what they'll do when we interact, and as long as Paul is just shaking his head from the side of the stage it's fine" "Well, yeah, i guess" Harry bit his lip. "I'm going to bed, I'll see ya tomorrow" He added and climbed into his bunk.

Louis looked after him. "Anyways, i'll see you tomorrow, good night" Niall said and followed Harry.

Liam's phone vibrated he pulled it out, another message from Management about the solo track previews. "Still not gonna do it. Stop annoying me" Liam texted back and said good night aswell.

Zayn was staring on his phone too, he also had gotten a message and he wasn't sure how to feel about it. He decided to not worry about it yet, it was still a week until he had to face that. "So, I'm going to bed too, good night old guy" Zayn chuckled and Louis nodded "I'm going too, who knows how long tomorrow will be" Louis said.


	10. *Niall*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains bulemia!Niall  
> I love niall i do not want this to happen to him in real life.  
> this is only for the story.
> 
> summary: Niall's secret; Niall also makes kind of fun of Liam at the end

25th February 

The next morning. 

Niall stared at the cereal box infront of him, he was the only one who was up. He knew he had fucked up, he knew he was now in a circle he couldn't get out of. Just to look at the box made him feel sick and as soon as he had poured the Fruit Loops into his bowl the pictures of the video shot back into his mind.

The pictures which said he was fat and untalented, which wasn't true at all, so many fans had defended him on that and said what an amazing voice he had but Niall didn't want just to be good enough for his fans, he wanted others to like him too, at least to respect him but he thought if his boys would find out what he was doing behind their backs, they would probably tell him to fuck off too.

Who wanted to be friends with someone who made themselves throw up? He thought to himself as he felt the tears sting in his eyes again.

He hadn't been eating much lately, He first planned to just lose just a little bit of weight, to get rid of the unecessary fat on his stomach but in his eyes it never left even though the scale already showed a number which was too low for someone in his age.

His stomach rambled but as soon as he thought about eating something he felt the fluid coming up his throat, he immediately ran into the bathroom and let it all out, nothing came out other than a little bit of watery substance, he had nothing left inside.

 

The boys got lead into a hotel, luckily they only had been eight fans so it wasn't a big deal for them to stop and to take a picture with each of them. Louis and Harry even stayed outside to talk to them longer.

Niall left as soon as he had taken a picture with each one of them, he didn't even care that Liam and Zayn had followed him towards the elevators but as he entered, they were no where to be seen.

The elevator opened at floor seven, Niall felt dizzy and wanted to lay down for a while, he didn't know what the plans were for today.

The blond boy stumbled into a hotelroom and let himself fall onto the bed, he had just closed his eyes when he heard the door open.

"Niall"

It was Paul. As Niall smelled the eggs and the toast, he hid his face in the pillow "Paul can I just rest?" "But you gotta eat something" He said and Niall let a disapproving sound leave his throat.

"You want to have bread and some butter?" Paul asked instead, and honestly, this didn't sound too bad. "Yeah, please" Niall said and Paul left the room again.

Before too long the other boys came into the room aswell. "Ni, no sleep time, we eat breakfast now and then we have a photoshoot“ Louis said and sat down on the bed. "Leave me alone" Niall groaned and the boys chuckled, they thought he was grumpy because he was tired but unfortunately that wasn't true.

Niall knew that, but that made him feel even more misreable.

The door opened again and Niall turned around taking the bread with butter with a small smile.

"You alright Niall?" Liam asked, he was worried now and Niall felt the others eyes on him too.

"Been feeling sick, guess it's just temporary" He shrugged it off and made small bites of the bread. He tried to ignore the waffles and pancakes and fruits which was on the plate from the others.

After Breakfast Niall bit his tongue, it felt so wrong to have something filling his stomach, he needed to get rid of it, now.

"I'll be back" Niall said just above a whisper. "Where are you going?" Louis asked and Niall avoided his eyes. "Bathroom" He said and walked out of the hotelroom.

He wouldn't do it in the same room as the boys, it made him feel uncomfortable and they might hear him or could come rushing into the bathroom.

Niall was talking out of experience, there wasn't any private time when the lads were around. If he would get out of the shower, he more than once saw Louis shaving his beard, Harry was standing next to him brushing his teeth while talking to the older boy. And Liam and Zayn were doing their thing while getting dressed.

Niall went into another room which was rented for them, he locked the front door behind him and then the bathroom door. The blond boy kneed down infront of the toilet and without thinking about it, he shoved his finger down his throat.

He started crying, he felt so weak and wanted just someone to hold him. He would prefer all the boys just shoving him into the middle of a group hug but he knew they wouldn't come.

He had to keep his 'imagine' in the band to always be happy and excited. The boys always said he would lift the mood of the band when they were down, but now he needed to be lifted up.

But he knew as soon as he would see the others again, a big smile would make his way up on his lips, something funny or exciting would leave his mouth and the boys would give him a fond smile and think he is well again, he was probably tired, they'll tell each other.

Niall hated it, he hated how the smile just appeared against his will, he hated how easy people thought he was happy.

The blond boy leaned against the tile wall to rest for a bit while the tears streamed down his cheeks. He imagined the boys seeing him like that. He wasn't in the mood to think what he will say so he just imagined them sitting down next to him and holding him and telling him that it's gonna be alright, that they here for him.

But that was just an imagine, he knew the boys will look at him disgusted and tell him to leave the band. He just knew and that's why he got back up, washed his face with cold water to get rid of the red hot cheeks and shoved a pepermint gum in his mouth.

He took a look in the mirror and swallowed, the red eyes were gone, just like the red cheeks and his mouth tasted like pepermint instead of vomit.

He took a deep breath as he stood infront of the room where he heard Harry laughing and calling Louis' name out, the older boy was probably tickling the youngest again.

Niall opened the door and like he had thought, the fake smile made his way across his lips. "Yo guys, today photoshoot" He cheered even though the pain in his chest made him feel like crying. He didn't want to let his boys down so he had to try and be as strong as he could.

"Yeahh" Louis cheered back as he sat down on Harry's lap who laid flat on the bed. Niall sat down on the end of the bed so he could watch the two boys infront of him.

Louis grabbed his phone out and Niall wiggled his eyebrows "Guys, Louis got a message, Ten bucks it's Eleanor asking for alone time" He laughed and Liam and Zayn joined him.

"I'll go with hundret" Zayn said and then all eyes were on Louis. Niall's eyes switched to the younger boy who couldn't move since Louis still sat ontop of him. He looked sad and even disappointed. Niall pulled on Harry's toe to make him look up but the boy refused and sank his head even more.

Niall felt bad for the boy, he might have taken his diary once and he might have searched for something specific which he had found. He knew Harry liked Louis, and that for a long time.

"Sorry guys, she just asked what we are up to today" Louis said and typed an answer on his phone.

"This is just the foreplay, Louis" Liam chuckled with Zayn. "Shut up" Louis rolled his eyes with a smile and shoved his phone back. He pouted when he noticed Harry wasn't paying him attention and Niall shook his head to himself with a fond but yet genue smile.

Louis poked Harry's tummy and the boy looked up. "You alright?" Louis asked as Harry looked up. "Yeah, just don't want to do a photoshoot" Harry said and the door opened. "Guys, let's go" Paul said.

 

The photoshoot was like always, they had to go through fifteen different clothes changes, a couple sets were outside, others inside and even one infront of a green screen.

After the photoshoot it was time for lunch, the circle for Niall had repeated itself again. He ate, went into the bathroom to get rid of it, cried, placed a smile on his lips and left.

When he got back to the others and saw them in a pile of bodies on the bed. He scooted in between Louis and Zayn. "Awe the leprechaun" Louis chuckled and nuzzled his head into Niall's shoulder to acknowledge him before he let his head fall back to his other side where Harry's head was.

"Ni" Zayn awed and the blond boy let his head fall closer to Zayn's. "What are the plans for the rest of the day?" The blond boy asked "Cuddle until Paul tells us to stop" Harry yawned.

"Sounds good" Niall agreed and felt comfortable, lucky and save. He wondered if they'll still do it if they would know about his secret, a loud voice in the back of his head started laughing at him, of course they wouldn't. Niall bit his lip and hid his face in Zayn's shoulder, the voice needed to stop, Niall tried to tell himself that the boys wouldn't be like that, but eventually he gave up convincing himself, the voice was right. The voice always was.

"Niall?" Zayn asked as the younger boy pressed his head deeper into Zayn's armpit to get away from the annoying voice in his head. Niall's answer sounded unclear since he was talking into the fabric of Zayn's tee shirt.

"You alright?" Niall pulled back and hid his face in the pillow. "Yeah, just have a headache" "You want a tea?" Liam offered while he let his hand wander through Zayn's hair. Niall would have questioned it but Harry and Louis were doing it too and he wasn't in the mood to ask them about whatever was going on between them.

Before Niall could answer, Liam got up of the bed. Zayn pouted at the missing body next to him. "I'll be back, just making Nialler a tea, you can come if you want to though" Liam shrugged and Zayn looked at Niall.  
He didn't like to know that Niall was feeling sick, he wanted to protect him all the time. Zayn always felt so protective over the blond boy like a big brother. "Go with your wife Zaynie, I'm gonna watch over him" Louis said and took Niall into his arms.

Zayn rolled his eyes but didn't fought with Louis, the black haired boy got up and walked out of the room with Liam.

"Anything else hurts?" Harry asked as he leaned on his ellbow to look over Louis to see Niall.

Yes, everything, Niall thought.

"No, I'm fine, I guess the flashes messed with my head a bit" Niall said and laid his arm over his eyes.

"Alright, then try to sleep some" Louis suggested and caressed Niall's cheek for while to comfort him.

"Maybe you should go and see the doctor? You have been feeling off for a while, haven't you?" Louis asked quiet.

"Yea, but I'm fine, really. Just a little bit of headache" Niall said.

"I'll go to the bathroom real quick" Louis said and got up. Normally Harry would pout and end up going with Louis but not this time. Harry just stared at the boy next to him who still had his eyes hidden behind his arm.

"Niall?" Harry asked carefull "Yeah?" Niall took his arm away, something was off with the voice of the other boy. "Ehm, I-" Harry started, he seemed really nervous about what he was about to say. "You said only your head hurt?" He said then and Niall locked eyes with Harry. "Yes" Niall said confident. "Well, I heard you, the other day, throwing up are you sure you don't want to see a doctor? Maybe you have a stomach infection?" Harry said then.

Niall's face went pale. "I just had eaten something wrong" "But you haven't eaten anything in days" Harry argued "I'm just worried, and the boys too" He added "What are you trying to say?" Niall got angry, he was scared that Harry knows something, he didn't want that.

Harry bit his lip, he was thinking about if he should continue talking or just shut up. "I just want to know what makes you sick" Harry said then in hope Niall will go along with it. "I'm not sick" Niall said and heard the hatred voice in his head. He knew he was sick, but no one must find out.

"Ok" Harry gave up as the door opened and Louis walked back into the room.

 

Before long Paul got in "Guys, we gotta go, Soundcheck" The boys groaned they had all just laid down again and Niall had just fallen asleep. "Wake Niall up so we can go" "Can't we carry him? He just fell asleep and he isn't feeling well" Harry said and Paul looked to the sleeping boy who had his head resting on Zayn's shoulder and one leg was thrown over Louis' leg.

"Alright, take the bags" Paul said and made his way towards the sleeping boy. "No, we can carry him" Zayn said and the other nodded. "Guys, let me" "No" Harry shoved their bags into Pauls arms and the man sighed. 

These boys.

Louis carried Niall's feed and Zayn and Liam had each an arm around their shoulder to carry him savely and Harry head his hands on the boy's bum just in case he needed to be hold there too. All four boys were proud of themselves as they sat Niall secure and still sleeping in the car.

They high fived each other quietly and made their way to the arena. Luckily the way wasn't long but they had to wake up Niall now.

"Ni" Harry patted Niall's cheek as the others waited outside of the car. The blond boy's eyes fluttered open "Yes?" "We are at the arena, come on" "What time is it?" Niall groaned not even wondering how the hell he had gotten into the car. "It's 3:40pm" Harry said after a pause he had taken to check his phone.

"Alright" Niall got up and climbed out of the car behind Harry. "Is your headache gone?" Harry asked while he walked inbetween Niall and Louis. "Yes" Niall placed a smile on his face as he rubbed his eyes.

Soundcheck flew by fast and Niall was glad about it. While he walked backstage and handed his microphone someone from the crew an arm flew around his shoulder. He didn't need to look to know who the tiny body belonged to.

"Yo Nialler, football, we and Hazza against the other two" He said and Niall chuckled. Of course Harry had to be in Louis' team. "Actually, I wanted to rest" "Awe come on Niall" Harry said from behind as he let his arm go around Niall too.

The boy in the middle bit his lip and turned around to see Zayn and Liam looking at him. "Alright" Niall said and the boys started to cheer and ran outside, Niall had no other choice than to run too since the two boys on each side of him still had their arms arund him, and Zayn and Liam followed close by.

After the football game which Niall Harry and Louis had won, they got called in for dinner. Niall was in a good mood until the word dinner left Paul's mouth. He was scared to eat because everything will just repeat itself again.

He stared at his chicken nuggets and the french fries. Then he looked up and watched the boys eating like there was no tomorrow. His stomach striked at the sighed of the gold brown nuggets.  
By the time the boys had finished their plates and asked for more Niall was still fighting with his third. He was feeling horrible and he could feel the liquid in his throat already making its way up his throat. That was the wrong way, he thought to himself.

"Gotta call my Mom real quick" Niall lied and got up, he ran into the bathroom and before he could knee on the tiles, the chicken came back out.

Niall thanked god when he was finally going to bed that night. He was so exhausted and when he thought about tomorrow his mood sank right away. He was tired, he just wanted it to stop. He wanted his life back and enjoy it with his boys.

They were staying in a hotel for the next days, he knew that Harry and Louis were doing their thing and Liam and Zayn theirs so he didn't want to bother them.

 

When Niall opened his eyes, the sun was already brighten up his room.

Another day where he was trapped in.

He got up and decided to take a shower, he didn't know the plan for today so he took a quick shower just in case Paul would come in any second and tell him he needed to be ready.

When Niall stepped out of the shower he nearly got a heartattack. Louis and Harry where sitting on the floor, how did they come in? "Damn guys! Are you trying to kill me?" Niall asked while he tied a towel around in his waist.

"Morning to you too Ni, you didn't come to breakfast so we thought we'd check on you" Harry said and Louis nodded to agree with what Harry had said. "When was breakfast? I didn't know about that" Niall shrugged as he started to dry his hair with another towel that Louis had handed him.

"Paul told us yesterday in the car after the concert" Louis said and Niall shrugged. "Well, I'm not hungry anyways" He shrugged, feeling kind of relieved that he didn't need to eat.

"Good that none of us has eaten yet, so you are good" Harry said.

Niall finished to dress himself and walked out of the bathroom with the two other lads close behind him.

"The boys are waiting in the other room, they have already ordered" Louis said.

 

The week went by slowly.

Niall tried to distract himself by watching Louis and Harry on stage. They were always about to interact or lay an arm around each other until they remembered they couldn't, so they stopped, soon that made Niall more depressed to see them trying.

To pay attention to Liam and Zayn wasn't a good idea either, they where on their phones half of the time texting to whoever. And when Liam wasnt occupied with his own he looked at Zayn hoping he would put the phone down because, why would Zayn dare to be on his phone while he could spent the time looking at Liam.

Niall chuckled as he let himself think about what Liam would think. The brown haired boy would be that kind of a jealous boyfriend, Niall was sure. But then he had to shake his head, why would he think about that? Not that Zayn and Liam actually were together.

Niall laid in bed that night, tomorrow they had a day off, well, expect for the concert in the evening. He wondered how the next week will be, but for now he was glad that he could sleep in without having anyone waking him up the next day .


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eleanor visits

7th march   
87 Days of Tour left 

"Louis?" 

Louis felt a strong hand on his shoulder, he knew right away it wasn't Harry, since he was laying on him, kind-of, and also the voice was too manly but not as deep as Harry's.

"Go away Paul" Louis groaned and nuzzled his head into Harry's neck. Harry was fast asleep but held him tighter because that was what he always did when he felt the smaller boy moving on him.

"Come on" Paul said again. "But we have the day off until tonight" Louis groaned. "I know, and it's not work, actually, get up so we won't wake up Harry" Louis sighed, he didn't want to wake up the younger boy who clearly needed his rest.

"Alright" Louis untied himself from his friend's arms and followed Paul out into the hallway in just his boxers. "So, what's going on?" "You are picking up Eleanor at the airport" Paul said straight out. Louis' mouth dropped, did he hear right? "What?" Louis asked shocked and Paul shrugged "Your Management wasn't happy about you and Harry interacting like that in the interview, they want you to show her off to stop them" Paul said, he wasn't happy about that either.

"What? Why? What is wrong with them?" Louis blurred out. "Fuck, how pathetic are they? Harry and me are just friends for gods sake" Louis rolled his eyes and Paul did something with his eyes that Louis wasn't pleased about. "Paul, not you too, come on" Louis pleaded and the man chuckled "Nevermind, come on, get dressed" He said and walked away.

He hasn't told the boys yet, so how should that work? Louis walked back into the hotel room "What did Paul want?" Harry asked into the dark. "You are awake?" Louis asked instead as he pulled some pants over his hips.

"Yes" Harry chuckled "And?" he added fast. Louis bit his bottom lip and placed a smile on his face. "He said Eleanor is here, isn't that cool? It was a surprise" Louis tried to sound excited. "Yeah, what a surprise" Harry said and Louis saw the body fall together even though Harry was still sitting up. But something in his voice gave Harry away that he wasn't happy or even surprised with what he had said.

Louis tried hard not to cuddle to his best friend and tell him that he lied, that he wasn't actually dating her but he couldn't just yet, something held him back. He was scared if he would say he wasn't dating Eleanor that Harry might think Louis wanted more too, just like everyone else did and he didn't want to risk their friendship, since it was true that he wanted more.

Louis walked over to the bed to sit down and tied his shoes. "So, our plans to stay in bed the whole day have been canceled" Harry said quiet.

"Sorry Curly, we'll do it another time I promise, and we three can still hang out" Louis tried to cheer his friend up. "Alright" The curly haired boy nodded and Louis hugged him, he just felt like to give his younger friend a hug now.

Harry hugged him back "Have fun" Harry said while he pulled back and placed a smile on his face "Can't wait to meet her" He added.

Louis nodded as he got up and left the lobby where Paul was already waiting.

Harry sat on the hotel bed and stared at the door where Louis had just left. It hurt him to know that the boy was gone, he wanted to go back to bed and fall asleep beside Louis but he could forget that now. He also could forget about that for the next couple of days either.

 

Louis was waiting at the airport, of course paparazzies were there, and some fans stopped by to ask for a picture. He checked his phone and hopped that Harry would have texted him like he always did when they weren't in the same room for longer than two minutes. Louis thought that maybe the boy had gone back to bed and was sleeping again. At the thought a smile creeped on Louis' lips, he would love to lay in bed too and watch some crappy movies with his best friend later today.

"Lou!" He heard a familiar girls voice call out. He saw her opening her arms even though she was still a couple meters away, but Louis played along, since the cameras were taking picture after picture. "El!" He cheered and walked towards her too, to greet her in a hug. Louis kissed her cheek for good measure and took her hand. "The car is waiting" He said before they would fall in an awkward silence.

Louis then spotted the suitecase next to her and took it before they started to walk to the car.

"So, how have you been doing?" Eleanor asked once they settled in the car infront of each other to have a nicer talking position. The car started to move and Louis sighed. "Well, good I guess" He said and smiled.

"I was kinda surprised when my Dad told me yesterday I had to fly over here" Eleanor said and looked to Louis. "I was surprised too when Paul woke me up this morning, I thought I could sleep in" Louis chuckled.

"So, how have the boys reacted as you told them?" She started the conversation that Louis didn't want to have, but she needed to know so he wouldn't get in any uncomfortable situations.

Louis' face went pale and he looked out of the window, thinking about what he should say next.

"You didn't tell them, have you?" She asked then, not taking her eyes away from Louis who still looked at the cars passing by outside.

He eventually bit his lip and nodded as he locked eyes with Eleanor. "Yeah, I haven't" "Why?" She asked curious. She wasn't angry or mad, her Dad had told her that Louis won't tell the boys.

Louis shrugged.

"So, you want me to pretend to be your girlfriend infront of the boys too?"

Louis shrugged "I don't know, no, I'll tell them when we arrive at the hotel" The boy said and tried to get rid of the conversation as soon as possible.

"No, if you haven't told the boys then that's fine with me" "Really?" Louis locked eyes with her again and she nodded and smiled. "But only if you tell me why you haven't told them"

Louis swallowed hard and looked to his feed while he feedled with his hands. Maybe it'll be good to be able to talk about it.

"It's because, i don't know, the boys thought that Harry and me had a thing, which we never had, and since they heard about 'us' it has calmed down, they even apologized to me to assume these things with Harry and me, and I thought if I could just keep that up for a little while so I can have a couple weeks of rest of the rumours" He rambled and Eleanor nodded along.

"Alright, but why does it bother you?" "What?" "The rumours about you and Harry?" "They don't bother me in that way, it's just the boys have started too and they always make these intimations you know?" "I understand but you and Harry know in what way you stand to each other, so why is it so important to you?"

Louis looked back down, he felt the words forming themselves on his tongue and before he could stop them they were out. It wasn't a secret anymore.

"Because I want it to be true"

"Ok" Eleanor nodded. "What should I do?" Louis sighed and placed his ellbows on his knees so he could hide his face in his hands. "Against what?" Eleanor asked. "Harry?" "So you really like him?" She sounded amused but not really surprised.

"I guess" "Say it" She teased. "What?" Louis looked up confused as he didn't understand the question. "Say it" the girl with the ponytale repeated herself with a smirk "What?" He asked and now he was totally lost. "That you like Harry" "No" Louis said shocked. It was bad enough to think about it, he wouldn't be able to say it, because if he would, he couldn't be in denial anymore and he would act like an complete idiot around Harry.

Eleanor stared at the boy infront of her for awhile until he gave in "Ok, alright! I will, but please stop staring" Louis said and bit his lip. He could do it, it only were three words.

"I like...Harry" Louis felt so dumb saying that, honestly. "And your problem with that is?" Eleanor asked as she shifted in her seat to pull one leg over the other. "My problem?" Louis asked and Eleanor nodded making eye contact.

"Well, he is my best friend and my collegue at the same time, and to all of that he is the youngest, it's so wrong" "What is wrong? Because you are three years older than him?" "Well actually just two, since we are just three months apart and two years" Louis said hoping it would make him feel better, but it didn't.

"Then what are you waiting for? Go and get him" "One problem" Louis said and stuck his finger in the air to underline his point. "That would be?" Eleanor chuckled "He is not gay nor in anyway interested in having a relationship with me, he just sees me as his best friend"

Eleanor stared at him for a while. "You know why you have to put up with me, right?" She said finally and Louis looked confused at her.

"Because of everyone thinking you and Harry are in a relationship, that wouldn't come up if you two were just friends as you and Niall are for example"

Louis sighed and the car stopped. "Whatever" "Yeah, let's go inside I'm starving, Plane food is gross" She said. Louis chuckled "I know, I haven't had breakfast either"

The boy climbed out of the car, followed by Eleanor.

 

"I'll bring my bag in my room, do you know where the dining room is?" Eleanor asked as they got into the elevator. "Nah, we don't need to anyways, room service" Louis wiggled his eyebrows which caused Eleanor to laugh. "I'll see if Harry is up, then we'll come to your room" "Alrighty"

The elevator door opened and they both got out. Her room was only three doors infront of his and Harry's "I'll be back, don't order without me" He said and Eleanor nodded "I won't" She said before she opened the door to her room.

Louis opened the door to his room "Harry?" he asked quiet just in case the younger boy was still asleep but when he saw that the bed sheets were crumbled and empty, he spotted the closed door to the bathroom.  
Louis didn't bother to knock and just opened the door, Harry was standing in just his boxers facing him with his back. He was drying his hair with a towel. "Hey, have you already eaten?" He asked and closed the door behind him so the warmth would stay in the bathroom.

Louis leaned against the closed door and waited for Harry's answer.

"Hey Lou, no not yet" He said and turned around while he still rubbed the towel over his curls to get them just as dry so they wouldn't make everything wet.

"Great, you wanna have breakfast with El and me?" He asked and started to feedle nervous with his fingers. "Eh, yeah sure" Harry said and bit his lip. "Great" Louis smiled.

The older boy waited in the bathroom until Harry was dressed.

 

When Harry was done he looked at Louis, the boy's hair were in a mess, but Louis liked it, he looked quite hot with the still wet hair and he even still had red cheeks from the shower, the only thing that distracted Louis from getting a boner, was the thought that he was going to have breakfast now with Harry and El.

"Let's go, don't want your Girlfriend to wait any longer, do you?" Harry asked and Louis shook his head "No" he said but it sounded more like a whisper. The boy who leaned against the door turned around to open it.

When Louis and Harry entered the room they saw the bag already open on the bed, the clothes in the bag were falded neatly, that was a thing the boys didn't know. The door to the bathroom was slightly open and Louis decided it'd be better to stay away from there. "El? We are here" He said instead "I'm out in a second" She called back from the bathroom.

Harry sat down on chair in the room "So, what are we going to order?" He asked and grabbed for the menue on the counter. "Don't know" He said and walked towards him so he was standing behind him. He leaned over and rested his hands gently on Harry's shoulder so he could look into the card too.

"The waffles sound great" Harry said as he changed the side. "Yes, they do. Have you heard from the others?" Louis asked as he rested his chinn on Harry's head "Nope, not yet" Harry said and let his look still go over the card until his eyes chatched something interesting. The curly haired lad let his finger go to the picture.

"What about the ice-bomb with whipped cream and fruits for Dessert?" Harry asked as he stared at the big picture of a bowl with ice-cream.

Louis searched for Harry's finger on the card "That looks good" Louis said once he had found them resting next to a picture. "It even says 'Perfect For Two" Harry chuckled and Louis joined him.

"Hey" They heard a female voice interrupting them. "Hey" Harry said and smiled to the girl, it wasn't a full smile that his dimples showed but it was a genure one. "I'm Harry" The boy said and Louis straightened himself up. "I'm Eleanor" She smiled.

Eleanor had removed her bag from the bed so they could eat on there, it was the boys' idea since they always did that, it was more comfortable and it was easier to steal from each others plates, which the two didn't do now, since there was a girl and who knows how she would react if the boys would stick their fingers into her plate.

"So, any plans for today?" She asked the two and Louis shrugged "Nope" "Well I guess I'm hanging out a bit with Niall, so you can spent time together" Harry said while he looked down into his plate to cut the waffle" "You can hang out with us, we don't mind" Eleanor said and poked Louis in the tummy to tease him.

"Stop it" Louis pouted but chuckled and poked back. Eleanor chuckled "I'm ticklish, stop"

Harry was feeling off place, it was usually him who poked Louis and made him giggle and who got poked back by the boy, but those times were over now.

"Is there something you want to do?" Louis asked Eleanor then to get rid of the silence. "Shopping" She said and Louis nodded "Alright, then we will go shopping, you can come with us Haz" Louis offered, and hoped the boy would say yes. "Nah, I'm good. Gotta call my Mom" He said and Louis nodded. "Ok, tell her I said Hi then" "I will" Harry smiled, getting excited to hear his Mom's voice in just a bit.

"So Hazza, let's get the ice-bomb" Louis said and Harry's eyes lit up, he had forgotten about the ice-cream.

The big ice-bowl came five minutes later and Harry had to take a picture of it and posted it on instagram "Ice-bombstagram w/ @Louis_Tomlinson"

"You are so addicted to instagram" Louis chuckled as he held the spoon towards Harry. "I know" The younger boy chuckled and took the spoon to himself.

"Well then, good luck with that guys" Eleanor chuckled as she leaned against the headbord of the bed. "We will need it" Louis said and the two boys started eating.

"You wanna try?" Louis asked Eleanor and she nodded "Sure" Louis filled the spoon and handed it to the girl next to him. He felt Harry's eyes watching so he looked over after Eleanor took the spoon out of his grib so she could shove the spoon into her mouth.

Once Harry's brain caught the blue eyes from Louis he looked away. "I guess I'm calling my Mom now" He said and got up "Was nice to meet you Eleanor we'll see us around" He said. "We will. Was nice to meet you too" "See ya later Curls" Louis said "See ya" Harry smiled back once more before he turned around and walked out of the room.

"Jeez, I dare you to tell me he doesn't have any feelings for you" Eleanor said and laid the spoon into the half empty bowl as the door fell shut.

"What?" Louis said, he had been saying that quiet often that day.

"He was so jealous, didn't you notice?" Eleanor asked and Louis shook his head "He is not jealous, he just wanted to talk to his Mom, he does that all the time" Louis said and rolled his eyes. "Louis-" Eleanor started but Louis interupted him. "Please just stop, alright? That's why I haven't told anyone because I knew this would happen" Louis said and got up.

"Let's go shopping, alright?" Louis said and Eleanor nodded. -If he wanted to be in denial than she won't try to change his mind, it's none of her business anyways.

 

"Zayn!" Liam laughed while he was laying flat on the bed and Zayn sat on his lap and hit him with a pillow. "It's your own fault" Zayn laughed and hit him one more time. "You were the one who stole my cookie that came along with my hot chocolate" He said and let the pillow drop next to the bed. "You were gone and it looked so lonley" Liam defended himself.

Zayn looked down with a smile "You are a dork, a cookie doesn't have any feelings" Zayn said. "Why are you so sure? Have you been a cookie before?" Liam joked and Zayn shrugged "Maybe in a past life, who knows?" "Well, you are sweet enough"

"Shut up you idiot" Zayn said and locked eyes with the boy underneath him. "Make me" Liam wiggled his eyebrows to tease him. "Ok" Zayn breathed out and before Liam could react he felt the familiar lips on his.

Liam kissed back and even though he had waited for that since yesterday night after they had another round of blowing each other, he felt a stung in his heart. He knew Zayn wasn't feeling the same and Liam knew that he was just like a spare-keeper for him until Zayn would get a girlfriend.

He tried to push the thought away, he just wanted to enjoy this as long as it was happening.

 

Niall was sitting in his room and waited for something to happen. He didn't have breakfast this morning, he just wasn't feeling hungry and to make the time go by faster he had called his dad with whom he had just gotten off the phone with. Nothing was on TV either, then the door opened and Harry got in.

"Hey" Harry said and sat next to his friend on the bed. "Hey, not hanging out with Louis?" "Eleanor is here" The curly haired boy said instead. "Oh" Niall said and looked out of the window before looking back.

"That's why you are wearing a sweater? Doesn't Louis wanted to cuddle with you?" Niall said and pulled the younger boy into his arms. Harry chuckled even though he wasn't feeling like laughing at all. Niall noticed but laughed with him anyways, he wasn't feeling much better either but sometimes in the worst moments to laugh is easier than to talk about it.


	12. *Harry*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter contains selfharm!harry  
> like with Niall, I love harry.  
> That is only for the story.
> 
> summary: Eleanor is still visitng; and Harry can't take it.

85 Days till the end of tour 

Harry laid awake in his bed and stared at the ceiling. It was 4:30pm, he had just gotten off the phone with his Mom and Gemma.

Niall had thrown him out of the room about two hours ago because he wanted some rest. Liam and Zayn, he hadn't even seen those two today and Louis was still out with Eleanor.

Harry pressed his eyes together, he had told himself not to think about it anymore, because that will just make himself numb and his brain would shut down and then he will be doing something he will regret, like this morning after breakfast.

 

Harry had gone back to his and Louis' room, he needed a couple minutes to himself. He never thought it would hurt so much to see the older boy with someone else.

It hurt more than a cut with a knife, Harry was determined. He needed something to cool off, he went into the bathroom and turned the water to cold. The curly haired boy catched the water in his hands which he had shaped like a bowl and then dugged his face down and breathed out as the water sucked itself into his soft skin.

He had repeated it three times, hoping he would feel better but it didn't help at all, he felt even more helpless. Harry rested his ellbows on the sink and stared at himself in the mirror.

He wasn't ugly, but he felt not good enough for the one he wanted to be everything for. But there was a bigger problem than 'an ugly face' and anyways, Louis complimented the younger boy almost everyday, whether it was his hair, the eyes, the lips, the skin or the nose, so he was sure that wasn't the problem.

The problem was, he was a boy.

Harry looked up again and saw in his reflection Louis' razor behind him on the surface.

His thought from earlier came back into his mind. 'It hurt more than a cut with a knife' It was like he had lost his control of his body when he reached for the sharp object infront of him.

If there was a razor then there have to be blades somewhere. Harry laid the razor back down and opened Louis' spounge bag.

There was a plastic bag full of blades still in their original box. If one was missing, Louis won't notice.

Harry bit his lip at the thought of Louis. He just wanted to be good enough for Louis.

The last thought pushed him over the edge, he locked the bathroom, just in case, and sat down on the toilet after he had put the seat down. It'll just be one cut. Harry told himself.

It wasn't just one cut.

It was like he was in a rush once the pain made itself through his body. He felt relieved in some strange way, he knew that by doing so it won't make himself good enough but the pain felt good.

 

Harry ended up with six cuts on the inside of his arm near his ellbow, not the best place to cut, Harry thought.

So before he made his way to Niall, he had put on a sweatshirt to hide the cuts. As he stood infront of Niall's door he felt sick and hoped the cuts will be gone soon.

But now as he looked on his phone and saw all the pictures from Louis and Eleanor the urge grew in his guts to get relieved again. He knew it was wrong, he knew that that was the wrong way but he just needed to make the pain go away.

He just had gotten up off the bed when the door opened. He looked to the door and saw Liam and Zayn coming in.

"Ey, Eleanor is here, isn't she?" Liam asked and laid one arm around Harry's shoulder. It actually felt good to have Liam and Zayn here now.

"Yeah, we had breakfast this morning with her" "We?" Zayn asked as he laid down on the bed and rested bis head against the headboard.

"Louis said she was here, so he asked me to have breakfast with them" Harry explained and looked to the bathroom, the thought still lingered in his head to take the pressure away that started built in his body.

"Oh, and how is she?" Liam asked and pulled Harry with him on the bed. Harry wasn't sure if Liam pulled him down beside him on purpose, so Liam was laying in the middle.

Harry quick got rid of the thought and shrugged to answer Liam's question. "She seems nice" Harry mumbled then, because she was, and he wished he could have find one thing he could hate about her, but there was nothing other than that he was jealous of her because she was with Louis.

"Harry, you know we can see your frown" Liam whispered and Zayn chuckled. "I'm not frowning, I'm tired" Harry said and looked to the floor.

"Haz, you can tell us, you'll feel better" Zayn tried to get the younger boy to tell them the truth but Harry wasn't going to play along. "I have to go to the bathroom, I'll see you guys later" Harry said and disappeared behind the door.

The boy let himself sink down behind the door and grabbed his hair in frustration. He knew Liam and Zayn knew something was up but he wasn't ready yet to tell them and it was unecessary since they already knew that he liked the older boy.

Harry pulled at his hair as the pictures from earlier appeared infront of his eyes of Louis and Eleanor holding hands. It just hurt so much.

He grabbed for his spounge bag where he had put the blade in so Louis wouldn't find it.

Harry pulled his sweatshirt off, he saw his cuts from this morning and stared at them. They had already dried and now there were six red lines on the inside of his arm. He caressed each one of them with his finger.  
Actually, it was his own fault, he thought. He should never have made himself hope that Louis might like him back, what was he even thinking? He was so stupid to even consider that maybe the oldest would just care about him differently than he does over the others. 

He was right with one thing though, he was the youngest and Louis the eldest, the only reason why Louis cares more about him is because Louis grew up with younger sisters and maybe he just goes into protecting mode when it's about him.

But that protecivness was in a different way than he wanted.

Harry took a deep breath in and brought the blade closer to his upperarm and sliced his skin open. He made another cut near the first one while tears streamed down his face.

He felt like he could breath again, finally.

"Haz, you alright?" Liam and Zayn knocked from the outside. "Yeah yeah, just one second" Harry said and wiped his tears away. He threw the still bloody blade in his bag and pulled his sweater over his head again. 

He took a look into the mirror, he hated what he saw.

"Harry get out of the bathroom and have a cuddle with us" Zayn said from the other side of the door. Maybe that was what he needed., another cuddle from them.

Harry opened the door and he immediately reached for the two bodys to press himself into them. Harry was glad they weren't saying anthing or asking any questions.

"Let's get Niall and have some fun alright?" Liam suggested and Harry nodded. "You two seem like you need some distraction from whatever" Zayn said as he opened the door to lead Liam and Harry out of the   
room.

 

Niall was staring on his TV when the three boys entered. When he catched their eyes a smile spread over his lips. "Hey" Niall said and turned the volume down.

"Aye Nialler, let's go out and play some football what do you think?" Zayn asked and Niall nodded "Alright" The blond boy smiled and got up off the bed "Let's go then"

He grabbed his shoes from the floor and put them on. "Is Louis coming too?" "No" Liam said while he laid his arm around Harry to give him mental support.

Niall didn't ask further, he knew it would just hurt the youngest boy to keep talking about him.

The other three boys made eye contact and made a silent promise to not mention Louis for the time they were out.

It was great for Harry to play football with his boys, he could forget for a while and what also made him happy was Niall seemed Ok too.

After they had played for a good while they went to get something to drink and to rest for a moment. The boys laid on the bed, in a familar mess of body, but something was missing.

Louis. 

Harry missed the small but strong body next to him but he was sure the other boys missed him too it was always weird when one of them was missing.

The door opened and Louis got in, but before Harry could get too excited about seeing Louis, Eleanor followed and held his hand.

Why won't Louis just kick him in the balls it would hurt less. He suddenly thought about the blade again, he could make the pain go away, the thought of being able to breath was too good. "Hey Lou" Harry said quick and smiled at his friend before he disappeared in the bathroom.

Feeling the sting on his arm made him focus on that more, he was feeling strong enough to get out and to face Louis and Eleanor.

When Harry was leaving the bathroom, the boys on the bed looked weird to the curly haired boy. Harry ignored them and sat down on the bed. "What have you guys been up to?" Louis asked while he grabbed himself a water bottle out of the fridge and sat down on the bed aswell.

"We played some football" Liam said "Yea, and Harry and me won" Niall chuckled and fist bumbed Harry. "Really? How many goals?" Louis asked and locked eyes with Harry. "Zayn and Liam had three and Niall and me had four" He said and Louis chuckled. "I was a good teacher wasn't I?" "Of course you were" Harry chuckled and pushed Louis lightly on his shoulder.

Liam got his phone out, he had been doing that every two minutes since they had finshed playing football. "Everything alright?" Harry asked worried, maybe it was something with his family. "Yea, just Mom, saying she misses me" Liam said and Zayn next to him shoved the boy into his arms. "Aw Li" He said and Liam chuckled but leaned against him. "I'm good, I'll see her soon, so it's alright, but I'll call her so she knows I'm fine" He said and patted Zayn over his hair before he got up and left the room.

"That's a good idea to tell my Mom I'm fine" Eleanor said and got up. "Alright" Louis said and the girl left the room too.

"So, Louis" Zayn teased and wiggled his eyebrows "Shut up Zayn, we didn't do anything, just went shopping" "Yea, I saw the pictures" Harry said without thinking about it. "You have?" Louis asked kind of shocked and confused. "Yea, I was on twitter earlier and everyone was uploading pictures of you two" The younger boy shurgged like it was no big deal when it actually killed him.

"Oh" Louis looked down and bit his lip. "I guess we should leave you two alone, so you can get a shag before the show" Zayn said. "Nah, really, we are good" Louis said and laid down. "I just wanna hang out with you guys until the concert, haven't had much time to be around you" Louis said and looked at Harry.

"Louis, you have been around us for over three years now, you can spent the time with Eleanor, trust me, a shag will be good for you since Harry isn't giving it to you, what we all thought" "Zayn, just shut up" Louis said pissed. "No, trust me, you'll feel better" "Oh and why do you know that?" Louis asked and raised one eyebrow.

"Because what is a better stress relieve than Sex?" The black haired boy said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Harry and Louis just stared at him. "Damn you both really need a shag" Zayn sighed and Harry and Louis locked eyes for a second, they agreed in that moment that Zayn was an idiot.

Twenty minutes later Liam came back, Harry didn't ask anything about how Liam's family was, normally Liam was always talking about them for hours after he had talked to his Mom but they didn't push him on it and just went along when he suggested to play x-box.

Harry was watching Louis as he got his phone out, it was fascinating for the younger boy to watch how the boy's blue eyes wandered from left to right over the lighted screen. He licked over his lips as he typed an answer and shoved it back into his pocket. Harry's eyes were still fixed on the dry lips, Louis licked over them again before he looked up. The staring boy licked over his lips aswell before he got hit by a pillow.

Harry looked up "What?" he asked confused and immediately found Louis' eyes. "You alright Haz?" "Sure, yes, just zoomed out for a second" He said. "Yes, we noticed" Louis said and Zayn, Liam and Niall chuckled. Harry looked at them and blushed.

"Well, Eleanor just texted me, she said she is going to bed now, jetleg" Louis informed the boys. "Poor Louis, no shag for him today" Zayn teased. For some reason the black haired boy had a lot of fun to tease Louis with that, Harry thought.

"Fuck you" Louis said while he locked eyes with Zayn. Before anything else could happen the door opened and Paul got in. "Guys, come on, the arena is waiting"

 

The next day, it was raining and the hotel was surrounded by fans and paparazzies so the boys had to stay inside the whole day. Not that they minded though, but they were stuck in the hotel room and they needed something to do.

They were woken up early because they had an interview and once when they were up none of them was tired enough to go back to bed.

Harry was hiding in his room though, he didn't want to be around Louis and Eleanor alone after Liam and Zayn had left once again and Niall said he was gonna take a bath. 

Harry decided to to take a bath too.

Five minutes later he laid in the hot bath tub. The bag with the blade was standing near him and Harry could swear it was calling him. He traced his scars from yesterday, he wanted to be around Louis but he knew that he couldn't if he wouldn't get rid of the annoying feeling.

He bit his lip as he reached for the bag and got the blade out. He still saw blood from yesterday on it. Harry ducked the blade into the water to wipe the dry blood away, it was actually unecessary since it'll get dirty again.

The boy was making one cut next to an old one and then another one. He watched the blood leaving his body and watched the blood mixing with the water. He stared at his new scars until they dried out so it wasn't bleeding anymore.

A while later the water got cold and Harry decided to get out. Once he was out and rubbed his hair with a towel he heard someone knocking on the door. "Yeah?" Harry said. 

Without warning the door opened. "Wait!" Harry said fast before the other boy could walk in. "It's just me Harry" Louis said and opend the door further. "Hold on" Harry said lightly paniked and grabbed for the sweat shirt to hide his cuts.

"Alright?" Louis said offended but stayed behind the open door. Harry sighed and gave Louis a sign he could come in now. "You alright?" Louis asked again and stared at Harry who only wore a sweat shirt. "Yea" Louis locked eyes with him "It's not like I haven't seen you naked before" He said and walked towards the counter.

Harry just shrugged and grabbed some pants. "Anyways, why I'm here-" Louis started "I'm not shagging you if you want to ask that" Harry chuckled and Louis bit his lip to hide a smirk, which didn't work. "Harry, it's bad enough that Zayn does that, you are an Idiot" Louis threw a cloth at the other boy but Harry catched it. "He actually outed himself and Liam since he is keep bringing that up" Louis joked. "Yep" Harry agreed and pulled some pants on.

"You wanted to say something" Harry reminded the other boy while he closed his black skinny jeans. "Oh yes-" "I'm not getting you condoms either" Harry said and laughed, for some reason he was in a good mood right now, but he knew deep down he was doing that so no one was noticing how depressed he actually felt about this situation.

"Curly" Louis pouted and crossed his arms infront of his chest. "Sorry, continue" He said while he leaned against a counter behind himself to face Louis. "Do you know anything about Liam?" Louis asked. Harry was confused "No? Why? Is he alright?" Louis shrugged "I caught him on the phone saying 'I will, but only if you promise to stop' "

Harry's eyes formed into a line "Do you think he is getting threat by anyone?" "I don't know" "I think you should ask Zayn, if someone would know, then him" "I thought so too but you nearly see Zayn without Liam by his side and if I would ask Zayn and he doesn't 't have an idea then he'd ask Liam and who knows what is going to happen" "You are right" Harry agreed.

"How did Liam sound? Was he nervous or scared?" "He sounded more annoyed and angry" Louis said. "Maybe you should ask him" Harry shrugged and Louis nodded along. "Maybe" "Or just try to tell him if he has a problem that he always can come to you" Harry suggested.

Later that day after Lunch, Harry couldn't find Niall and Louis was doing whatever with Eleanor. He found Zayn in his room and let himself fall onto the bed and closed his eyes. The boy hadn't noticed him yet, since he was sitting on a chair staring outside while he was on the phone. "Yes, I will, see you soon, yes. I love you too" Zayn said in some fond way. Harry opened his eyes, that clearly wasn't his Mom.

"Who was it?" Harry asked curious while he crossed his arms behind his hand. "What the fuck?" Zayn turned around and breathed out as he saw it was Harry. "Jeez, Harry, are you trying to kill me" "Nope" Harry smiked "I need you so I don't have to finish school" He said amused and Zayn chuckled.

Harry couldn't finish his education since they moved to London right after his junior year.

"Well, then you better be nice to me" Zayn teased and laid down next to Harry. "It was my Mom, you know how mums are" "Well, yes, and that my love, wasn't your Mom, your voice sounded too soft" Harry wiggled his eyebrows. "Shut it Styles" Zayn said and Harry laughed "Tell me" "It was my Mom, how many times do I have to tell you that?"

"Ok, then it was your Mom" Harry rolled his eyes, he didn't want to argue about it. But he was curious what was going on lately with everyone.

Niall's disappearing and wanting time alone, seriously, Niall never wanted to be alone for longer than five minutes each day and now he was always gone. The thing with Liam on the phone that Louis had told him about, Louis also was kind of acting strange, sometimes Harry thought that he and Eleanor doesn't look like a couple, maybe he is just making that up to make himself feel better. Of course he was, why would Louis lie? And now the thing with Zayn, has he girlfriend too? Or with whom was he just talking to? Harry was sure that it wasn't his Mom.

Harry closed his eyes, he should be the last one thinking about the others having secrets, he has one too. The thing with Louis wasn't actually a secret but still, none of them knew for sure.  
The boy wondered when it all has started with them having secrets from each other, that wasn't like them at all. He felt like he was drifting away from the boys and he didn't like it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one if short, but all my ideas at the moment are for the chapters after the next one.  
> but I hope you enjoy!
> 
> summary: something between Liam and Zayn is changing

83 days of tour left 

Liam woke up next to Zayn, again. It felt like they were taking this to a new level or maybe Liam just wanted it to become more for Zayn too like it was for him. He watched the other boy while his eyes were still closed and his breath was hitting Liam's face gentle. The younger boy took the time to admire the face infront of him.

Zayn had lightly red cheeks and generally looked like an angel, well he always did for Liam even when Liam is sucking the life out of Zayn and he just falls together underneath him. Till now they both stuck with sucking each other off or handjobs, but Liam thought about it how it would be to actually feel the older boy inside of him. He wanted to ask many times but couldn't find the courage to do it yet.

He looked to the clock and sighed, he needed to get into the lobby, Paul was waiting for him to bring him to the studio. The other day he agreed with their management to just hear what they have to say and to try a few things, he isn't going to sign anything. And the only reason why he agreed to meet them in the studio, was because they'll leave him alone with it for good afterwards.

Liam just wanted to get this done with so he could focus on the band again without getting interupted every five minutes by a message from their annoying management. He breathed out and got up, he grabbed for his clothes on the floor as he heard a too familiar groan. Liam looked over to the boy in the bed who opened his eyes. "Come back, it's cold, what are you even doing?" Zayn said still half asleep.

Liam smiled at the boy "My Mom called" "Again? She is been calling you for the past days, is everything alright?" Zayn got worried. "Yes, everything's fine, don't worry" "Then you can call her here, I'd love to talk to her too"

"It's seven in the morning, go back to sleep" Liam said. "No, not without you" Zayn pouted and Liam walked over the bed after he finished to dress himself. "I'll be back soon" "Fine, can't stop you anyways" Zayn shrugged and Liam laughed "Exactly"

"Tell her I said hi" Zayn said as he looked up to Liam. "I will" Liam ruffled his hair while their eyes were conntected.

Zayn licked over his lips as he glanced for a second at Liam's, he looked back up and pulled Liam in a little closer, he wasn't sure what he was doing, or if he was taking it too far, but he just needed those lips. 

They were soft and pink and he felt save when Liam was so close, no one could harm him when he was with Liam.

"I'll be back" Liam whispered, he was so close to Zayn that he was scared if he would be talking in a normal tune that he would hurt the other boy's ears. "Ok" Zayn whispered back as he closed the distance to press his lips on Liam's. It only were suppost to be a quick peck but Liam kissed him back. A warm feeling grew in Zayn as he kept pressing his lips back against Liam's.

It felt right for both and it felt good but at the same time it was wrong, they weren't normally doing that, maybe a quick peck after a night they had spent together to show the other that nothing had changed, still best friends who blow each other but now they were sharing such a sweet kiss, just because Liam was leaving the room to call his Mom, Zayn thought.

They pulled back at the same time. "See you later" Liam said still trying to keep the shock from that moment inside. "Alright" Zayn said surprised himself.

As Liam closed the door behind him, both of them knew, things are going to change, that things were different now.

 

Louis was spending the night in Eleanors room since Harry had told him to stay with his girlfriend. Louis wasn't so pleased about it but gave up eventually. He couldn't sleep at all even though Eleanor told him it was fine with her if he would come into bed with her but Louis disagreed.

He liked Eleanor, but still, it just felt weird sharing a bed with someone else other than Harry or one of the other boys.

That's why he was resting on the couch, one arm hanging down so it laid on the ground with its back side. The boy was uncomfortable, it was only seven in the morning when he heard Liam talking on the phone to someone in the hallway. He couldn't understand so he got up and moved closer to the door. "Yes, I'm leaving the room right now and don't tell the others because I'm not going to do anything else other than that" He said firm and Louis wrinkled his eyebrows. 

What was going on with Liam?

Louis opened the door, since Liam was gone, no one was with Zayn so maybe he could get some rest over there. He left quiet the room and opened the door to Zayn's room. "Zayn?" He asked quiet not trying to wake up the other boy. "I'm up Louis, come in" He said and Louis smiled as he closed the door behind him and walked over to Zayn who laid in his bed.

"What's up?" Zayn asked as Louis let himself fall down into the bed next to Zayn. "Harry kicked me out of the room because he wanted me to sleep at Eleanors" "And?" Zayn asked curious while he watched Louis get under the blanket. "Nothing, I just want to get some rest now"

Louis hoped Zayn wouldn't ask any questions or let out some dumb coment, but he didn't expect him to not say anything at all. But Louis was glad to finally be comfortable enough to close his eyes, he just let it go and fell asleep.

When Louis woke up later that day he was alone. It took him a second to realize that he was in Zayn's room and not in his and Harry's. He walked out of the room and as he was about to close the door behind him, Harry got out of their room. "Hey Lou" Harry smiled and wrinkled his eyebrows once he noticed that Louis had come out of Zayn's room.

"Why were you at Zayn's?" "I just wanted to ask him something but apparently he isn't here" Louis said and hoped Harry would take it. "Alright, well, Paul just texted me, we should be ready in thirty minutes" "Alright" Louis nodded and got into his and Harry's room and the younger boy followed. "Do you know where Liam is?" Harry asked and Louis shrugged "I heard him leaving this morning while he was talking to someone on the phone"

Harry sighed and started to get dressed into fresh clothes. "What is going on? Seems like everyone is to hiding something" Harry said. "I know, it's ridiculous, Niall is always gone, Liam gets phone calls, Zayn gets phone calls. Seems like we are the only normal ones around here" Louis said and bit his lip.

"I know, I just hope that it can be go back to normal soon" "Same"

Half an hour later they all met in the lobby. Niall seemed like he hasn't slept in days, Zayn was staring on the floor and Liam was texting away on his phone. "Ok guys, let's go" Paul said and lead them outside into the van. Louis was confused, what happened to his boys, even Harry looked like he wasn't focused.

"Louis, Eleanor will drive in the other car, you want to join her?" Louis bit his lip. He wanted to stay with his boys to find out what was going on, but if he would say no then they'll ask questions. "Sure" He said and the boys looked at him but the only boy who he was looking back at was Harry. Louis climbed back out of the car while Harry started to pull on his sleeves and turned his head to look out of the window.

 

After soundcheck the boys sat in silence in the common room. "I'll grab something from the buffet, anyone else?" Liam asked as he shoved his phone back into his pocket. "Yes" Zayn got up aswell and stood next to Liam, they shared a look and then tried to make eye contact with the others. But Niall was probably sleeping since he had his eyes shut and Harry was staring on his phone.

The only one who catched their eyes was Louis. "No, I'll try to find El" Louis said. The air was thick, he needed to get out of here. "Alright" Liam nodded and left with Zayn. The oldest felt Harry's eyes on himself, as he turned around, he had just catched him looking away. "You watch over Niall?" Louis asked and Harry simply nodded.

Harry glanced over to Niall on the couch as he heard Louis leaving the room.

 

"So, and what did your Mom say?" Zayn asked as he grabbed for a sandwich with ham "The same things, that she misses me and that she can't wait for me to come back home" Liam said and chuckled as he grabbed for a grabe and put it into his mouth as he chuckled. "It's funny because this is home for me too, you know, to be with you" He said "And the boys" He added fast as he turned around to hide his blushing face while he grabbed for a crossaint himself.

"Yes I know what you mean" Zayn said and Liam turned back around when he felt his face cooling off. They stood in silence for a while untli they decided to go back to the others. When they had entered the room they only saw Niall, still curled into a ball on the couch.

The two boys sat down and finished their snacks in silence, they didn't want the blond boy to wake up. A while later Harry came back into the room and sat down next to Zayn without saying a word. Zayn and Liam shared a look, they knew what the youngest boy was bothering.

Paul called the boys together to go outside to take some pictures with the fans. Finally something to do, Niall thought as he was waiting behind the door where he could hear the fans scream. As Harry saw Eleanor coming towards them, he sighed and walked outside, followed by Liam and Zayn. The younger boy rubbed over his face with his palms and then took the sunglasses which Zayn had handed him.

The three of them split up and walked towards the fans. Harry dared to look back and saw Louis having one arm around Eleanor's waiste, he knew how it felt to be in her position, to be close to Louis, to have his arm around the shoulder, he can make you feel save. Harry always felt like he could do anything as long as Louis' arm was around him and he never felt alone when he just could hear his voice or even feel him near.

Louis catched Harry's eyes while he interwinerd his fingers with Eleanors. As Harry heard his name call from behind him, he turned his attention back to the girls who were shoving their phones into his face.

After the concert the boys were lead towards the tour bus.

"Louis, Eleanor has gone back home" Paul said. Harry tried to keep his excitment to himself but Liam and Zayn noticed and looked happy towards him. The curly haired boy blushed lightly and followed Niall into the bus.

Louis just nodded towards Paul and entered the tour bus aswell. He sat down next to Harry and grabbed his phone out to send Eleanor a message. "Who is up for a football match?" Harry asked as he pointed towards the controllers "I'm in" Louis said and catched a controller which Harry threw over to him. The two boys looked to the others who nodded.

They played for a while, but still, they could feel that nothing was fine but they didn't want to mention it. Each one of them wondered why none of the others would ask, they never kept anything from each other, all five of them always knew what was going on with the others.

Even the fans spotted the tension between the boys, they were all wondering on the internet what was happening with them. Some even thought that the boys were already going on each others nerves and that they fought, when it was actually the complete opposite for four of them.

Niall was the first one going to bed, then Zayn and Liam followed. After another round of fifa Harry and Louis decided to go to bed too. Without asking, Louis climbed into the bunk behind Harry and the younger boy didn't complain, he made himself smaller so he would fit into Louis' chest with his back. "Good night Curly" Louis whispered but Harry was already asleep.


	14. *Zayn*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been waitng for a while to write this chapter.
> 
> summary: Zayn buys lube

82 Days of Tour left

 

Zayn got woken up by Liam the next day. "Hey, Zi, your phone is ringing for the fifth time in ten minutes, you should pick up, maybe it's important" Zayn nodded "Thanks Li" "No problem" Liam smiled and patted 

Zayn's leg before he let the curtain fall shut again.

Zayn grabbed his phone and his eyes opened wide. 

It was her.

"Hey Babe" He picked up his phone and rubbed his eyes. "-I'm so sorry...Yes...alright...I guess I can do that, see you later...Yes, love you too" He mumbled and hung up. Great, of course he had to sleep over their meeting.

Zayn got out of the bus and put some sunglasses on due to the sun shining right into his face. Liam walked towards him and Zayn tried to hide his nervousness. Liam will ask questions and Zayn doesn't want to answer them at all.

"So, Paul said we have off time until 4pm, want to discover the area?" He asked and Zayn bit his lip. "Sorry, gotta meet a friend in about half an hour" "Who?" Liam asked curious and Zayn saw the boy's eyes getting dull. "You know, just one from the art scene" He said and Liam nodded along. "But between us is everything fine?" Liam asked hesitated.

"Of course, why not? Need some relieve? I still got a moment" Zayn said, he missed the touch of the younger boy, he needed to remember why he was doing what he was doing.

"Ehm-" Liam started but Zayn already pulled him back into the bus again. "Well I guess you are the one needing relieve" Liam said then and Zayn pulled him into the tiny bathroom in the bus. "Maybe I do" Zayn said and laid his arms around Liam's neck.

Liam stood infront of him pushing the older lad lightly against the tiles on the wall

Their noses brushed against each other before their lips met in a soft kiss. The kiss was too soft, they didn't kiss like that, they shouldn't kiss like that. The only one who he should be kissing like that was his girlfriend Perrie, Zayn thought.

Honestly, the only reason why Zayn was with her, was because he thought it would stop him from falling for Liam, that didn't work at all like he had just noticed. But maybe it's because he hasn't seen her in a while, maybe once he will see her today he'll go back to normal.

Normal in like, 'Liam is my best friend, I don't have any feelings for him'

But as Liam pressed his hips to Zayn's and the boy against the wall let a moan out of his mouth and as Zayn felt his erection grow in his pants, he knew that he was lying to himself.

Zayn opened Liam's pants while their tongues swirled around each other. Once the pants fell to the ground, Zayn let his hands wander underneath Liam's shirt, he needed to touch him, he needed to memorize each and every muscle on Liam's chest.

Zayn sucked on Liam's neck and Liam would lie to himself if he said he didn't feel different about this, it always had felt good and right to be with Zayn but it never felt like this.

"Zayn" Liam breathed out as he pointed to his swollen dick. Zayn pressed a slobby kiss to Liam's lips before he sunk down on the wall. Liam used his hands to support him on the wall infront of him as he let out a moan after moan as Zayn sucked on him.

After Liam came they switched.

"God, Liam" Zayn pressed his lips together, he was so close. "Mhm, I thought" Liam said as he pulled back so he could take Zayn all in again. "Maybe we could try something new next time" Liam said before he started to suck on the tip again. "What do you mean with that- Oh" Zayn breathed heavy. "Maybe I could ride you?" Liam asked nervous and that was all that took for Zayn to release down Liam's throat. The boy on his knees swallowed everything to avoid to clean too much.

Zayn let himself slide down to Liam on the floor as he tried to catch his breath. "Are you serious?" He asked while he tried to catch Liam's eyes, but the other boy stared on the wall infront of him.

"Liam?" Zayn asked and laid his hand on Liam's shoulder. The boy swallowed at the touch, he shouldn't have asked.

"Sorry, just forget it" Liam said and got up to pull his pants over his hips again. "No, it's alright, if you want to, that's fine" Zayn got excited about the idea to be inside of Liam.

Liam looked at him and their eyes met. "But I have never done this" Zayn said as he pulled his pants up as well. "Me neither" Liam nodded and bit his lip. "Well then, we'll figure it out, I'll see you later Li" Zayn said and pecked Liam's cheek. He might have kept his lips linger longer on the still hot cheek than excepted but he didn't mind and the way Liam leaned against his lips made him think that Liam didn't mind either.

Without any other word Zayn pulled back and walked out of the bathroom. He told Paul he was going out for a while. 

Twenty minutes later he was entering the hotel where she, his girlfriend, was staying at.

"Zaynie" The small girl fell into his arms and as he smelled the perfume he wished he could go back into Liam's arms. He wasn't feeling save nor protected like with Liam but he pushed the thought to the back of his mind, he will be back with Liam soon.

"Hey Babe" Zayn said and pressed a kiss to her cheek, he could taste the makeup on his lips and pulled away while he wiped his lips on his arm.

She giggled and pulled Zayn with her towards the bed, he knew what was going to come. "You seem so tensed, how much time do you have?" He looked to the clock, it was 10:30am, it made him sick to think about how long the next five hours would be.

"Well, I actually have off until 4-" He was interrupted by lips crashing into his. He felt his throat getting tighter, it felt so wrong, he liked Perrie she was nice but he wanted Liam.

"Don't continue, let's just enjoy our time together alright?" Perrie asked and Zayn nodded and went along with whatever the girl started.

She sat down on his hips as he laid flat on his back and looked up to her. "Has anything come out with Harry and Louis yet?" She asked as she pulled his shirt up.

"Well, apparenly Louis has a girlfriend" He said and closed his eyes as Perrie started to kneed his chest.

Maybe this will get his mind off Liam. "Really?" She chuckled and kept kneeding the boy's chest to get him to relax. "Yes" Zayn breathed out and let his head fall to the side to show he was starting to relax now.

"Well" She shrugged it off and leaned down so Zayn could feel her breath on his face.

The boy opened his eyes and to say he was disappointed was an understatement. He tried to find something that he was attracted to in her face but couldn't find anything other than the eyes.

Liam had brown eyes too but his were prettier and glowed more. Zayn always lost himself in them and sometimes he even could see his reflection in them.

The girl leaned down to connect their lips and Zayn followed.

He let it happen like he always did. His thoughts went to Liam though, his deep moans, the way his muscles would press against his own and the sweet breath that hit Zayn's face when they breathed into each others mouths. He missed how Liam's stiff cock was pressing against his tight when they were lying like that and how Liam's strong tongue tried to dominate their wet kiss. Zayn sometimes let him win but sometimes he loved how determined Liam could be when he wanted to have control over what their tongues were doing.

Zayn laid in bed, naked with the girl resting on his chest. "I missed you so much" She said "Missed you too" Zayn said.

The boy looked to the clock, it only had been forty-five minutes since the last time he had looked to the clock. He saw his phone blinking and grabbed for it. He smiled when he saw Liam had texted him. "Who is it?" "Liam, he just told me that our schedule had changed and that we should be back by three now"

He lied, Liam only told him to have fun with whatever he was doing. He texted back he was having fun and told him they'd see each other soon.

But soon still was about three hours in the future and too long for Zayn's liking.

"Zaynie?" "Yeah?" "Why won't you let the others know about me?" "Because...I just want my private life to be seperated from my job" "But these boys are your friends too, aren't they?" "Of course they are, but I just want to have something for myself without anyone knowing" He said. "Oh, ok"

The time went by slowly, but as the clock finally showed four minutes after three Zayn pulled back. "I gotta go, I'm already late" "Alright, When can we see each other again?"

Never, Zayn thought but he pulled a fake smile over his lips "Soon" Zayn pecked her lips and got out of the bed. He started to dress himself and to fix his hair.

"Ok, so, I guess we'll text" Perrie said while she sat on the bed, she just had the duvet over her legs so everything under her belly botton was covered and her breasts were exposed. Zayn didn't even try to look at it since he knew this wasn't going to change anything. He tried many times to get attracted to her, it always came down to thinking about Liam.

"Yes, of course sweety" Zayn walked over to her and kissed her lips once more. "I love you" She said. "Love you too" Zayn mumbled and smiled at her one more time before leaving the room.

When he walked into the lobby he noticed a pharmacy sign pointing to a stairway. Was Liam serious with riding him? Because Zayn wouldn't mind at all. He stared at it for a while, he felt the minutes pass by as he looked around. No one was around other than a woman behind a computer at the sign-in talking on the phone.

Zayn bit his lips as he followed the sign.

"Hello" A young Man stood behind the counter smiling at Zayn. "Hey' Zayn smiled back. "What can I get you" "Condoms" He said and the man nodded grabbing behind him to get a box out. "Anything else?" Zayn swallowed.

He had bought condoms before but not lube, what will the man think about him?

He looked behind the man where he had gotten the box from, there were different bottles, one said massage gel, one had massage gel with flavor and another said lube. Zayn puckered his lips as his eyes catched for what he was looking for.

The man behind the counter turned and chuckled "You need lube too?" Zayn blushed and nodded and looked to the ground. "No problem, this one's actually good even though it's a cheap one, use it myself" The man put the bottle down next to the condoms.

Zayn just nodded and got his money out.

"First time?" The man asked.

Zayn nodded "And his too" He said quiet as he handed the money to the man.  
"That's exciting, don't be scared, just make sure to open up before you use your dick, and don't force it. The first time failed for me too, so it's alright" Zayn nodded and took the change. "Thanks" "Here" The man handed Zayn a piece of paper "Instructions" the man laughed and Zayn joined "Thanks man" "You are welcome"

Zayn left the hotel with the bag, luckily he could fit the bag in his pocket so no one could see what he had bought.

 

When Zayn entered the tour bus to hide the bag in his bunk he saw Harry on the couch holding a big teddy bear to his chest. The boy smiled down to him as he made his way past him to get rid of the bag.

The hoddie Harry wore made Zayn suspicous, it was too hot for a hoddie but at the same time, it was Harry and he always needed to feel warm, if Louis was here, the youngest wouldn't wear anything just because they would have been tied to each others sides so they would warm each other enough.

Zayn left the sleeping boy in the tour bus and tried to find the others, well, he was trying to find Liam.

Before long he found Niall and Louis chasing after the ball while Liam was standing in the goal being bored. If only Niall and Louis were playing, there is a 98% chance that no goal keeper is needed because they'll just run after the ball and before one could get close enough to the goal the other would take the ball and run into the other direction again.

Zayn waved to Liam who waved back. Zayn smiled and run towards the goal. "How long have you been in here?" Zayn laughed, finally a real and genure smile was on his face again. "It feels like seven hours" Liam joked. "I bet" Zayn laughed before he heard running behind him.

"ZAYN" they two boys yelled as they embraced their friend in a hug, due to their speed they pulled him to the ground. "Ahh Li" Zayn tried to hold himself on Liam but he ended up pulling him down aswell.

"I'm mad at you, you just can't leave without saying good morning" Louis pouted. "Aw sorry Babe" Zayn said as he laid next to Liam on the floor and Louis and Niall were ontop of them.

"You cuddle without me. How dare you" They heard Harry's voice complaining from behind. Louis was the first one getting up and running towards the younger boy. "Curly" He yelled. "Ahh" Harry started screaming and ran away from the boy.

The other boys started laughing as they watched Louis chasing Harry around in the parking lot.  
Louis eventually caught the boy and dragged him towards the others. "What's the plan for today?" Harry asked as he sat down with the others in a circle. Of course Louis sat next to him having one arm around the boy.

"Don't know, Paul just told me we need to be ready by four" Liam said and shrugged as he leaned against Zayn.

"Guys, there you are, let's go" Paul said as he stood further behind them. They helped each other up and then they followed Paul into a room.

"Alright guys, you are gonna do a livestream for the fans, remember not to exaggerate the bromances" He looked to Harry and Louis.

Louis smirked and laid his arm around Harry. "You are just jealous Paul" He said and pressed his cheek to Harry's.

Zayn saw the glow and the light in Harry's eyes, well if that isn't going to give anyone a mature heartbreak soon, Zayn thought.

"Louis" Paul locked eyes with Louis and the boy took his arm back to himself. "Alright" Louis nodded and sat down on the back rest of the couch. Harry sat down next him and the other three placed themselves infront of them so everyone was seen on the screen.

The questions were common, nothing new. At one point Zayn was asked where he wanted to live, he grabbed for Liam who sat next to him and pulled him into his chest. "Right next to you Leyum" He said and the others chuckled. Immediately their chat was full of people celebrating the Ziam moment.

A while later Zayn caught a question. "Why doesn't Harry kiss Louis?" He said and the boys infront of them looked behind the camera where Paul was shaking his head, these boys wanted to get into trouble.  
Harry didn't need to be told twice as he laid one of his hands on Louis' shoulder to keep him close. Harry smirked and so did Louis, but eventually the older boy leaned back.

Harry though, leaned in closer and closer as Louis leaned further back and then he fell off the couch. The boys errupted in laughter and Harry looked down to see his friend laughing aswell.

"You alright mate?" Harry chuckled as he held his hand down to help him up but Louis had other plans and pulled Harry off the couch aswell.

"Seems like a Larry Stylinson moment, don't want them to disturb do we?" Niall joked. "Don't tell Eleanor though" Liam added and Zayn laughed.

The livestream disconnected and Paul stared at them. Liam scooter closer to Zayn so the black haired boy could protect him and Liam pulled Niall closer too, just in case.

The other two were save behind the couch.

"Guys, what have I told you? This is going to have consequences" Paul said mad and motioned for the boys to follow him.

He lead the boys into the tour bus but grabbed Louis back to talk to him alone. The four others were watching out of the window where they could see Paul throwing his arms in the air.

Harry sank his head, it was his fault, he thought.

Zayn laid one arm around Harry. "Not your fault Hazza" He said quiet and Harry nuzzled his head into Zayn's neck.

The door opened and Lous got in. "So, we are grounded" Louis said and chuckled. He stopped though when he saw Harry's hurt expression. "I'm sorry" Harry said and looked to the floor, pulling his sleeves over his hands.

"Curly" Louis said and pulled Harry into his arms. He had to step on his tippy toes to rest his chinn on the boy's shoulder. "Not your fault, we were just having a laugh" "What did he say?" Harry asked worried as the others patted his back.

"Just that we should turn it down a bit, which is ridiculous" Louis pulled back from the younger boy, it hurt him too but he didn't let it show. He needed to be the stronger one.

"Why do they do that?" Harry asked and Louis shrugged. "Because they are stupid" Louis said and sat down next to Zayn on the couch.

The boys were locked in the bus until the concert, they didn't mind though since they had each other and the xbox.

The time flew by fast and soon they were lead into the dressing room to get ready for the show.

Paul walked into the room and called Harry and Louis out, the boys had just put on some pants as they looked up to see their tour manager. Before they followed Paul out of the room they locked eyes and then disappeared behind the door.

 

"I feel so bad for them" Niall said "Yes, we were just having a laugh, I don't get why they make such a big deal out of it" Liam said and looked to Zayn who nodded to agree with them. "It's not their fault that the fans think they are in a real relationship" Niall bit his lip "Do you think Louis could get in trouble with Eleanor for that?" "No, he shouldn't be, and if Eleanor is mad at him that she is dumb, Louis is not that kind of person who would cheat on someone" Zayn said and then held his breath.

It was kind of what he was doing, well not actually since him and Liam are not dating, they just blow each other but then, is it cheating on Perrie? It is, kind of. Well, ok it is. It's a real relationship for her but not for him. "You alright?" Liam asked Zayn and laid his hand on his shoulder. "Yes, of course, I should have called my Mom today and I forgot, I'll sent her message later" Zayn said then and finished to dress himself.

Zayn noticed the change in Harry, when he wasn't singnig or had the word, he was hiding in the dark, Zayn walked up to him and held his microphone away from them "What's the matter?" The younger boy shrugged "Paul said I should stay away from Louis for the concert today to show we are not dating" Harry rolled his eyes and Zayn opened his mouth shocked "He can't do that" "But management can" "Come on Hazza" Zayn laid one arm around Harry's shoulder and walked with him back towards the others were the lights were.

That night they went to bed early. Zayn stared at the lube, he wondered if Liam would actually do it. He closed his eyes and thought he'll find out soon enough.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

81 days of tour left 

 

Zayn woke up the next day, it was quiet. He tried to listen into the silence to hear something but there was nothing, he didn't even hear cars rushing past. He pulled the curtain back and was faced with the light. He pressed his eyes together and blinked a couple times to adjust his eyes to the light. Zayn jumbed off the bunk and opened the others to see if he was alone.

He was alone.

He then looked out of the window, crew members passing by with objects for the stage. He left the bus to find the others. Niall spotted him and walked over "Zayn, we are over here" He said "Hey Niall" Zayn stretched himself. "We have to hang out here for awhile until Paul figured out wich Hotel we can go to, the one we were suppost to go to is loaded with the fans" Niall said and Zayn nodded.

It wasn't the first time that had happened. "That's why Paul had to cancel all the interviews for today" Zayn nodded while he followed Niall to the others. He didn't care that he was just in his boxers, it's not like they have never seen each other in the nude anyways.

"Morning" Liam said before Zayn could spot the boy on the couch who got pressed to the arm rest by Louis. "Hey?" Zayn looked confused to the two boys who were already goofing around. "Liam beat him in a game" Harry explained to Zayn who sat down next to him. Zayn looked to Liam and chuckled "Don't laugh at me, tell him to stop" "Nope" Zayn teased.

"Ha, see? Even your boyfriend is on my side" Louis teased and leaned himself more on Liam's side to press him against the end of the couch.

"He is not my boyfriend" The two boys said at the same time, they locked eyes for a second. "Well whatever, does anyone know where we are?" Harry asked then which caused Louis to leave Liam alone. "I think Kentucky" Louis said and payed his attention to the younger boy who wore a long sleeve shirt.

"Hey guys, I got snacks for you" Paul said and laid the chocolate bars and gummy bears and packed brownies on the table. The boys reached into the pile and grabbed out what they wanted, except for Niall. The boys looked at him and Niall got up, he felt judged and uncomfortable. "Nialler, come back" Louis called after him but the boy didn't turn around.

"What is going on with him?" Zayn asked and looked to the boys who ate their snacks. Harry shrugged "I don't know, I heard him throwing up a few time since Louis had gone home. I thought he was coming down with something" "Has it stopped?" Zayn asked worried and Harry shrugged "I thought so, but he is not eating" "Maybe he still feels sick?" Liam added. "But why won't he talk to us?" Louis asked and the others shook their heads, they knew just as much as Louis did. 

Nothing

"I was once trying to talk to him, he said he was just feeling sick, maybe it'll get better" Harry said. "Yes, but Louis was gone about two weeks ago, that is not normal" Liam said and Louis and Zayn nodded along. "Maybe we should talk to him?" Zayn said. "But not all of us at the same time" Zayn added and the boys nodded. "But who?" "I guess Harry, since he had already talked to him, if one of us would come to him now it might freak him out that we all noticed he hasn't been feeling good" Louis said.

"Ok, I'll do it" Harry agreed and Louis patted Harry's back. He was glad that none of them had noticed that he only was wearing long sleeves. Harry hoped that he could help Niall with whatever it was, he cared about him and didn't like it when he was sad.

Paul came into the room "Hey guys, let's go, the car will get you to your hotel. Niall's already on his way to the car" The man informed them and the boys got up and followed Paul out of the building. When they sat down in the car they spotted Niall resting his head against the window with sun glasses on his nose. He looked exhausted, he always did when he came back from where ever he was.

Liam laid gently his hand on Niall's knee but the boy didn't move nor made a sound, he just sat there quietly, the other boys couldn't tell if he was awake or not, but he was breathing and in that moment that was all that mattered for them.

The ride to the hotel was short, the car could drive into the undergound garage so they could walk towards their rooms in a normal pace. "Ok guys, We'll have to change now your schedule, I'll pick you up by 4:30pm for Soundcheck, so be ready" The boys agreed and Niall was the first one disappearing in a room. "I'll see you guys later" He said before he shut the door behind him.

"I couldn't sleep at all the night, I'm off taking a nap aswell" Liam said and Zayn followed him. Louis stared at Harry for a while "What?" "They all have gone mental, you are the only one normal around here" Louis said. Harry nodded and avoided his eyes. "Let's watch a movie" Harry said and Louis followed him into a room.

 

Zayn and Liam laid in the bed, the TV was on and none of them said anything. "I thought you wanted to sleep" Zayn said while his eyes were focused on the TV infront of him. "I am" "But?" Zayn asked and Liam shrugged "Are you not comfortable enough? Should I see if there is a pea under the bed?" Zayn chuckled and Liam looked at him with a smile on his lips"No, idiot"

"I just try to help" Zayn said "If you want to sleep I can leave too" Zayn added and pointed to the door. "No, I'm just not relaxed enough to fall asleep yet" "Oh, ok" Zayn said and looked back to the TV. He could make Liam relax, Zayn thought.

The things he could do to the boy next to him were uncountable.

Liam looked to Zayn from the corner of his eyes as the boy next to him stretched out, his arms were held up and Liam took the opportunity to scoot closer to Zayn to lay his arm around the boy's waist and let his hand rest there to slip under the arm. Liam laid his head down on Zayn's shoulder. "Hello there" Zayn chuckled as he laid his arm around Liam's waist aswell and leaned his head against Liam's.

Liam then turned his head and soon after Zayn felt a tongue on his neck. Zayn opened his mouth at the touch and took a sharp breath in before he wetted his lips. Soon after Zayn felt teeth nibbing on his soft skin and then Liam started to suck on it. "God" Zayn breathed out and closed his eyes. Liam moved his hand from his hips to cup Zayn's cheek to press him lightly towards himself.

Zayn raised his hand which laid on the side where Liam was and laid it down on Liam's neck. He turned his head aswell and Liam pulled back a bit to lay his lips on Zayn's. The older boy opened his mouth and Liam let his tongue in. Zayn rolled so he was hovering over Liam, keeping his body up by pressing his fists into the sheets next to Liam's body.

Liam let his hands wander under Zayn's shirt to feel the too familiar muscles, he then grabbed the shirt and pulled the shirt over Zayn's head quick, to pull Zayn back into a kiss. With a hand motion Liam's shirt was off aswell and he let his legs slide inbetween Liam's while he kissed Liam's chest down.

Zayn pulled Liam's pants away with his boxers before he hovered back over him so he was looking right down at Liam's face, their noises were touching and they breathed into each others faces. Zayn took the sweet breath from Liam in, that was what he wanted.

Zayn felt Liam's hard-on on his tight, they locked eyes for a moment. "Were you serious when you asked about-" Zayn stopped, he didn't want to push Liam in any way. Liam bit his lip "I don't know" He said. "Yes you do" Zayn whispered and lowered his face to press soft kisses to Liam's cheek. "Mhm, Yes" Liam said and closed his eyes once Zayn had pulled back again. "Alright, I- I bought the stuff" Zayn said and blushed. "You have what?" Liam asked surprised and Zayn nodded as he got up to get the bag he had gotten out of the bus.

"The man in the pharmacy kind of told me how this works" Zayn said and tried to ignore his dick which got stiffer at every thought to feel Liam around it.

Zayn set the lube and the condom down beside them and pressed his lips back to Liam. "I trust you" Liam said and Zayn pecked his lips once more. "I trust you too" He said and then Liam shoved Zayn's pants over his hips. The older boy let his pants drop too so they wouldn't bother them.

Liam laid his hands on Zayn's butt to pull him back, he connected their lips as he shoved his hips upwards so it was crashing softly against Zayn's.

Their cocks touched and both moaned into the kiss. They have never been this close, but Zayn liked it. He wanted to take it all in so he pressed his hips back down.

"God, Zayn" Liam moaned between a kiss and Zayn pulled back, supporting his weight while he let his hands rest on Liam's knee. He sat inbetween his legs like before and spread the legs apart to give him some room.

"Just tell me when it hurts or when you want to stop ok?" Zayn pleaded, he felt nervous and scared to hurt him. "Yes" Liam nodded fast and Zayn let his finger touch the soft skin around Liam's hole.

Liam groaned at the touch, Zayn looked up to Liam who looked back. Zayn grabbed for the lube and put a good amount of the liquid on his finger, Zayn locked eyes with Liam again as he started to curl his finger to push it slowly inside him.

Liam pressed his eyes together and grabbed for the sheets. "Do you want me to stop" Zayn asked and stopped moving. "No. God- keep going" Liam's face was red now and he bit on his lip to not let uncontrollable moans leave his mouth.

Zayn pushed his finger deeper, once he was all the way inside he let Liam adjust for a second. He felt how Liam got strechted on his finger and that made Zayn's dick twitch.

Zayn slowy started to move out again and before he was all the way out, he slowly pushed back in. He repeated it a couple times until Liam pleaded for more. Zayn added another finger and gave Liam enough time.

Once a third finger was added and Liam's face showed off more pleasure than hurt he opened his eyes "I want to feel you, now" He said and Zayn nodded.

The boy grabbed for a condom and the lube to prepare himself. He saw Liam's crotch already leaking. Zayn leaned over to kiss Liam for a second before he pulled back and placed his dick at the hole.

He slowly started to push inside him and both boys couldn't keep their mouths shut. It felt good, Liam was so tight around Zayn and Zayn was so big for Liam.

Zayn noticed and didn't move for a moment, he gave Liam two strokes on his dick and then he moved in more.

 

Harry and Louis were watching a cartoon, their legs were tangled together and Louis was texting on his phone.

Harry was feeling left out, he didn't like the non-attention from the older boy. "I guess I'll talk to Niall now" "Alright' Louis looked up and their eyes met. "See you later" Harry smiled as he untangled their legs and got up. "See ya" Louis said and started to stare on his phone again.

The younger boy sighed as he left the room.

Harry opened the room where Niall had disappeared in. No one was in the room, just a plate of food with a half eating pancake and a tea and an open laptop. "Nialler?" He asked as he turned the laptop around. 

"Niall?" Harry said a little louder getting worried over his blond friend. 

He then heard gagging from the bathroom and opened the closed door.

His eyes got wide and he stopped breathing as he spotted his best friend leaning over the toilet with his finger down his throat. For a second they were just staring at each other.

Harry opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. His mouth was dry like he hadn't drank in weeks.

Niall didn't blink once in that moment, he just stared at his friend who didn't say a word. The boy on the floor felt the tears sting in his eyes and let himself fall to the side where he knew the wall would catch him. 

Niall grabbed for his legs and pulled them to his chest with his arms.

He started to cry. This was it. Harry will tell everyone and they'll kick him out of the band. He laid his forehead on his knees so he didn't need to see how Harry would run away from him.

But instead of hearing the door shut like he thought, strong arms pulled around him and then he heard sobbing, the younger boy was crying.

"Don't cry Harry, please" Niall said while his own tears streamed down his face. "Why?" Harry asked as he pulled Niall closer to him.

"How long have you been doing it?" Harry asked once he had calmed down. "Too long" Niall said and started to feedle with his shirt on his belly. "Come, let's get out of here" Harry said and got up, he held his hand out for Niall. "Harry, can you-" Niall asked and let his eyes jumb to the floor once Harry locked eyes with him. "What?" Harry asked and helped him up. "Can you put the plate away?" Harry nodded "Alright, sure"  
The curly haired boy walked back into the other room to get rid of the plate with food. He coudln't believe that he hadn't noitced. Harry went back into the bathroom and got Niall to sit with him on the bed before he pulled the older boy towards him. Niall laid down and rested his head on Harry's lap. "Do you hate me?" Niall asked as he stared dead at the ceiling.

"No, Of course not, damn Niall. Why would you think that?" "Because I feel like everyone does, I'm such a freak" "No you are not" Harry said and started to massage the boy's head. He hoped it would help. "Can I help you somehow?" "No" "Do you want me to help you?"

Silence.

"Babe, it's alright, don't worry. Me and the boys are there for your" "No, please, don't tell the boys, don't tell anyone" Niall opened his eyes and locked eyes with Harry. "But-" "No Harry, no promise me they'll throw me out of the band" "They won't Niall"

Niall moved his eyes away from Harry. "I'm scared Haz" "Don't be, I'm here, I'll help you. Just come to me whenever alright? You are not alone" "Thank you, but promise me that you won't tell Louis or anyone else" "I-" "Please, promise me" Niall locked eyes with him again. Harry bit his lip "Alright, I promise" "Thank you"

 

Liam laid on Zayn's chest, both didn't say a word. A knock on the door made them jumb "Liam, get the boys you have to get ready" Paul said through the door "Alright" Liam said back and the boys heard the man walk away. "I don't want to get up" Liam pouted and nuzzled his head into Zayn's neck. "Me neither, but the fans are waiting" Zayn said and played with Liam's hair at his neck. Liam groaned and sat up, Zayn let his hand rest on Liam's naked back.

Liam turned around and looked at Zayn who still laid flat on the bed. "Does it hurt?" Zayn chuckled and sat up aswell "Yep" Liam said and blushed. Zayn smirked and chuckled "Sorry" "It's alright" Liam pulled Zayn closer and smiled. Zayn smiled back and closed the space between them, he then raised his hand and laid it on Liam's cheek.

They pulled back eventually and texted the others to meet them in the hallway in ten minutes. They got dressed and Zayn enjoyed to watch Liam struggling to walk. "Just wait, next time you'll bottom" Liam said and walked towards the door. "There'll be a next time?" Zayn teased and Liam nodded "And a next next time" Liam said and stepped closer to Zayn "Oh really?" Zayn raised one eyebrow and stepped closer aswell with a dumb smile spread over his lips. "Yes" Liam said before he pecked Zayn's lips.

Zayn chuckled as he kissed back "Now let's go" Zayn said and opened the door.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

"What did Niall say?" Louis asked while he closed the door behind him and Harry. They had just come back from the concert and were about to get ready to go to bed. "He is just homesick" Harry said as he gathered some clothes to change in to.

"No he is not" Louis insisted and watched Harry while he was getting some of his stuff together. "He is Lou, and that's why I'm gonna sleep with him tonight"

Louis wanted to complain but he cared too much about Niall for being selfish and he didn't want to show off like a jealous boyfriend which he wasn't since they weren't dating.

"He can sleep here with us" Louis suggested then. It made him feel lonley to think he has to sleep alone in that big bed without Harry. "I think it'd be better if it was just me and him Lou. He-" Harry stopped and looked down.

"What is going on?" Louis made himself taller infront of the door as Harry was about to reach for the door knob. It was funny actually, Harry was about one head taller than Louis so the boy had to look up anyway.  
"Lou" Harry looked down and locked eyes with Louis. "I won't let you go until you tell me what is going on with him" "I can't" "Why not?" "Lou, just let me handle this, I can do that" Harry said serious.

It was ridiculous, Louis couldn't even handle his jealousy for the boy infront of him but Harry told himself that it was something different why the older boy was acting that way. He was just gonna sleep with Niall.  
"I know you can, but I care about Niall too" "I know and he does too" Harry said still keeping eye contact. "Alright" Louis said and Harry smiled. "Thanks" Harry said and bent down to peck Louis' cheek before he pushed the smaller boy to the side to leave the room.

Louis stood frozen where Harry had pushed him. He had kissed him, well it was the cheek but still a kiss. A dumb smile made its way over his lips and the cheeks were red even though they gave kisses to each others cheeks all the time.

 

 

Liam fell dead into his bed "I'm so exhausted" Zayn chuckled "You can sleep now" Zayn said and held his hand out to open the door to get into his own room. "Wait" Liam said and held himself up with his ellbow. "Yes?" The boy at the door turned around and locked eyes with the other boy. "Can you stay?" Liam asked and sucked his bottom lip into his mouth.

He was feeling like a girl wanting to cuddle after Sex. But it was true, he wanted it, he wanted to fall asleep next to Zayn everyday but he knew he couldn't. As soon as they were back in the bus, Liam would be stuck alone in his bunk again.

When the door clicked shut and Zayn made his way over to the bed a smile crossed Liam's lips. "Sure" Zayn said and pulled his shirt over his head.

Liam watched him while Zayn stripped down to his boxers. The boy on the bed then undressed himself aswell while Zayn climbed under the blanket next to him. Liam followed and scooted closer to Zayn until their legs were interwined.

"Good night" Liam said while he was laying on the side to face Zayn. "Good night" Zayn said and hit the light swtich on the wall above their heads.

 

Harry entered Niall's room, the boy was just about to hit the light switch when he saw Harry walking towards him. "What are you doing here?" Niall asked surprised. "I thought you didn't want to sleep alone tonight" "What about Louis?" Harry rolled his eyes "Ni, Louis and me didn't sign a contrast that said we aren't allowed to sleep with others" "Well you kind of have" Niall shrugged and chuckled. "No we didn't" Harry said and stripped down his pants, leaving him in his boxers and the long sleeve shirt and climbed into bed next to Niall.

"Haz, can I ask you something?" Niall asked. "Sure, everything" "How jealous are you, honestly, of Eleanor?" Harry chuckled "I'm not" "Yes you are" Niall teased. "Let us sleep alright?" Harry rolled his eyes and hit the light switch.

"Damn, you are more jealous than I thought" Niall chuckled "Remember, I have something that I can hold against you" Harry said. "I know" Niall sighed. "Thank you, for not telling" Niall said. "Of course Ni, I promised you" "And thank you for being here" "Ni" Harry cooed and pulled Niall into his chest. "Let's sleep, we'll have a long day tomorrow"

 

75 days of tour left 

Harry had tried to help Niall to stop throwing himself up after he had eaten, but he couldn't. Niall got aggresive and had breakdowns when Harry tried to stop him.

The other boys noticed that something was wrong but Harry kept his mouth shut. He was with Niall 24/7 anyways so he didn't have much time to talk to the others.

Louis tried to pull him to the side a couple times but the younger boy always walked away, it hurt Harry to see the hurt in Louis' eyes and to combine that with that he couldn't help Niall even though he wanted to and the fact that Harry heard Louis talking with or about Eleanor a lot more the last couple days, it just got caught himself more into the circle with selfharming.

No one seemed to have noticed or cared about that he had been wearing long sleeves but he was glad about it. First he needed to help Niall then he could try and help himself. He needed to be strong for the blond boy.

The boys had two days off and Harry was with Niall once again in the bathroom after dinner trying to keep him away from the toilet. "Ni, why don't you try to sleep, please" Harry pleaded. "But I feel so sick Haz, you don't understand" "I'll get you bucket but please try to sleep" Niall shook his head "But-" Harry started "No buts, you don't understand" "You are right, I don't, but I'm trying to help you" "Well, you do a horrible job" Niall screamed at him. "Only because you make it" Harry yelled back.

"You just don't understand" Niall argued again. Harry caught Niall's eyes, and like always, the way those blue eyes lost their sparkle when they were fighting Harry couldn't take it anymore and gave in. "Niall, I don't want to lose you please try. Why don't you want to try" The taller boy let go of the blond one.

"It will always repeat itself Ni, we fight, I'll give in, you'll throw up and cry until you fall asleep so I can tuck you in in bed. I can't do this anymore" "Good. Just leave me alone! I don't need you anyway" Niall said as he hovered over the toilet. "But I need you Ni" Harry said as tears streamed down his face.

Niall looked up before he shoved his finger in his mouth. Before he threw up the door fell shut and Harry was gone.

Like Harry had said, twenty minutes later he shoved the sleeping boy with dried tears on his cheek into his arms and laid him down in bed. Harry kissed Niall's forehead and tucked him in before he went into the bathroom to get rid of the vomit.

Harry went back with a wet cloth, he washed Niall's face to get rid of the tear stains and then he got another one which was a little bit colder to get rid of the red cheeks.

He tried as much as he could so Niall would look more like a human when he woke up.

The younger boy laid next to him and went to bed soon after. He was crying himself to sleep that night too, but he didn't have anyone to take care of him.

 

Liam Zayn and Louis were in Louis' room, the two boys noticed that Louis was alone most of the time.

"What is going on with Harry and Niall?" Zayn asked. Louis shrugged "I'd like to know too" "Didn't that start when Harry was talking to Niall?" Zayn asked and Louis nodded. "I tried to talk to Harry what Niall had told him but he wouldn't tell me"

"I'm pretty sure whatever it is, Harry can handle it" Zayn said and Liam nodded "Zayn's right, If Harry needed help he knows he could always ask us" Liam said and Louis shrugged "I don't know, I guess you are right"

"Of course we are. I gotta call my Mom though, she asked me to call her today" Liam said and got up. The boys said goodbye and Liam called his Mom once he was back in his room.

"Lou, you are not jealous of Niall that he gets all Harry's attention lately, are you?" "Of course not! Zayn" Louis said offended. Zayn chuckled "I'm just asking" "I just don't think that whatever it is, that Harry can handle it, I feel it" "Dude, what you feel is jealousy stage one hundred" Zayn smirked. "I'm not jealous" Louis said and grabbed for his phone to distract himself.

"You like Harry, admit it" "And you blow Liam, admit it" Louis teased back. As Zayn blushed and looked down Louis raised an eyebrow. He didn't expect Zayn to admit it yet. "Zaynie" Louis said shocked.

Zayn chuckled and blushed. "Well we were" "But?" "We kind of still do but now it's, ehm, you know" "Omg don't tell me you fuck" Louis' eyes were wide, he didn't expect that at all. Zayn nodded and itched the back of his head while a dumb smile spread over his lips.

"Omg" Louis laid his palms on his face to hide. "I mean. Omg. You two?" Louis asked. He still couldn't believe it. "I had thought you'd blow each other once in a while but the full thing, are you dating?" "No, we just do it" "Zayn, you can't fucking tell me that you don't have any feelings for each other" Louis said.

It was quiet for a couple moments.

"I'm not going to" Zayn said finally and looked down to the floor. "Say it" Louis teased with a grin. "What?" Zayn asked. "That you like Payno" Louis wriggled his eyebrows. "I just did" Zayn blushed. "No, you said 'I'm not going to'" Zayn rolled his eyes. "I like Liam" He said quiet. "Omg" Louis chuckled "You like Liam" He couldn't believe it.

"You know Liam likes you too" Louis said. Zayn shook his head. "Not more as a friend though" "Are you fucking kidding me?" Louis laughed. "Why are you laughing? There is nothing funny about it" "Do you really think he would fuck you if he wouldn't like you?" Louis asked. "Well actually, I'm fucking him" Zayn said proud and raised one eyebrow.

Louis blushed "Ok, too much information dude" Zayn laughed "Sorry" "How long?" "Well, we started off a couple months ago and since a couple weeks now we are, you know"

Louis wrinkled his eyebrows, he really didn't want to think about that. "You know that day when we said Harry was going to talk to Niall, we-" "Jeez, Zayn, shut up, don't finish that sentence" Louis said and Zayn chuckled. "That explains why Liam was walking funny, so that's why you were out? To get the stuff?"

Zayn bit his lip, that reminded him of Perrie, they were going to meet next week again, just to think about her made him sick. The thing was, him and Liam don't only kiss or touch while they were doing it, it had become routine for them. A peck whenever no one was watching or light touches when their arms or legs were hidden behind a surface.

"Zayn, babe, what else do you want to tell me?" Louis asked curious. The helpess look on Zayn's face wasn't hidden at all.

"Nothing" Zayn said. Luckily for him Louis' phone rang, he saw the caller ID and smirked. "That's your girlfriend, you don't want her to wait, do you?" Zayn teased and left the room. He heard Louis saying 'Hey El' into the phone as he closed the door behind him.

 

The rest of the day was eventless. Harry and Niall were sleeping through until the next day and Liam and Zayn took advanage of the calm evening. Louis was on the phone with Eleanor, she had told him she'll join Louis on the Tour for a couple days after tomorrow and Louis was actually glad about it.

Louis turned off his light before 12am because he knew he wouldn't be able to fall asleep for the next couple hours since Harry wasn't next to him.

The older boy missed his friend, it almost had been two weeks since Harry had slept next to him. At the beginning Louis told himself that it only can get better, he'll get used to sleep on his own again. While they worked and slept on the bus it worked a bit but now that they had days off it was weird to sleep alone.

Maybe that's why he had stolen a tee shirt from Harry and had it next to him in bed and maybe he was pressing his face into the lumb of cloth to breath the boy's smell in, which wasn't weird at all.

The older boy tossed in his bed from side to side trying to get comfortable, he wondered if Harry was asleep or if he couldn't sleep aswell.

What if Harry missed him too just like he was missing him.

Next Morning

Harry had ordered food, not much so Niall wouldn't be overhelmed. It started good actually, Niall finished half of the bread without problems, but then like someone would have flipped over a light switch, it all started again.

The empty look in Niall's eyes, the way he looked at the bread like it was just an ugly stone. Harry learned fast not to stare at Niall when he did that, he always hoped Niall would just take a break and then eat again, but every day, Niall started to panic and ran into the bathroom.

 

Liam was having breakfast with Zayn. He had gotten a message from management a couple days after he was in the studio, it had said that the offer was still on and that he always can agree to it.

Liam was sure he would never take the offer but it gave him some more confidence in himself that they think he could do that on his own.

But he had Zayn here and his other boys and for nothing in the world he would give that up for.

 

Like the day before and the day before that too, Harry was once again holding on to Niall with everything he could to keep him from doing the same mistake, but the boy was at the end of his nervers.

He hadn't slept in the past days, he missed Louis, Louis was always the one who gave him strength by just holding him. The nights when Louis and him were holding each other were like those times for a phone on the charger. He needed the older boy and especially now that he knew he couldn't take it anymore.

If he wanted to help Niall, he needed to tell Louis and the others. The curly haired boy let Niall go. He had seen out of the corner of his eyes as the boy bent down and then he heard the gagging as he ran out of the room and into Louis'. He shut the door loud and sank down the door and cried. He was going to break the promise but only because he knew that it'll be the best for Niall.

"Hello?" Harry heard the too familiar voice from deeper in the room. He got up and ran towards the bed where Louis held his phone in his hands. Before Louis could register who it was, Harry was bawling his eyes out and the younger boy curled himself into Louis' lap.

"Curly" Louis whispered as he laid his arms around the boy to protect him. "What happened?" "I'm so sorry" Harry blurred out. "Why? What happened?" "I'm so sorry, I should have told you earlier" Harry said between his sobs. "What love?" Louis tried to calm him down. "Just breath now Haz, it's alright" "No, it's not" "Whatever it is, it'll have time, just calm down" "I'm so sorry Lou, I tried to help but I couldn't" "Shh" Louis tried to sooze his crying friend. "Niall, he-"

Louis' heart stopped at that. "What's with him" He tried to stay calm, but he knew he didn't. "He is making himself throw up. I'm sorry. I should have told you earlier" Harry cried and clung to Louis.

"What?" Louis was surprised, did he hear right?

"Lou I'm sorry" Harry apologized again through loud sobs.

Louis grabbed Harry's hand and ran with him out of the room, when they entered the bathroom he saw Niall sleeping, his head resting on the toilet.

"Ni" Louis whispered as he stared at the boy, rest of his vomit was hanging at his lips. "Lou I'm so sorry" Harry said.

Louis helped to clean Niall up and to get him into bed. The older boy then got the other boys, not caring that they were snogging while he burst into the room and told them to come into Niall's room. Louis didn't care to close the door behind him since he knew the two were right behind him.

Harry was patting Niall's hair and watched him breathing. Louis closed the door and told the other two what was going on. Harry kept apologizing and Louis was the first one who pulled the boy into his lap like a child and held him.

The other two joined the bed too while Harry told them what Niall had told him, how scared he was that they'd throw him out of the band.

The other boys wanted to call an ambulance since Niall wouldn't react to their touches or calls but Harry assured them he was just sleeping.

A couple hours later Niall woke up, once he opened his eyes and he saw all the boys around him watching TV, he knew that they know. It was like the others felt the boy had woken up, one at a time time they turned their heads to look at Niall.

They were silent.

As none of them said anything the tears stang in Niall's eyes. "I'm so sorry" He whispered and then the others took the boy in their middle and hugged him. They let their tears slip quietly, no words were needed for Niall to know he had his boys by his side and he regreted that he didn't ask them for help earlier.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

The boys watched movies all day long until they fell asleep in a mess of bodies. They could bring Niall to eat one pancake throughout the day. It wasn’t much but it was a start.

All boys kept Niall distracted by telling him bad jokes and Louis let slip that Zayn and Liam were snogging when he got them which caused Niall to chuckle and Harry to stare at the two boys.

Liam and Zayn blushed and avoided eye contact with the others. They hoped they could keep that to themselves but now it was out and like it wasn’t enough Louis said that they were right with them blowing each other and since a couple weeks they have started to take it to a new level.

Louis was amused how red Liam and Zayn were. He usually wouldn’t do that, he knew Zayn had told him because he thought Louis would keep it for himself for a couple more days but the older boy tried to get all the attention off Niall a bit. He cared about him and Louis knew that Zayn and Liam couldn’t have hidden it anyways.

"And you said that Lou and me would have a thing even though it had been you the whole time, not cool" Harry said and Liam chuckled "Well, the only reason why we started was because we thought you and Louis were doing it too" Liam said. Niall laughed at that and Louis didn’t say anything back because Niall seemed to be amused about that so he let Liam get away with that, for now.

73 days of tour left

The next morning when Louis woke up and he saw his boys still asleep, a smile spread over his lips. He hasn’t slept this good the past weeks, maybe it was because Harry was closer to him than usual since all five had slept in one bed.

It was actually surprising for him when he saw Liam and Zayn cuddled together, they would make such a cute couple and Louis wondered how long it’ll take them to get together.

It was ridiculous that they weren’t, it’s not like it’s normal for best friends to be that close and Louis knew they were even closer than Zayn had told him. He was jealous in some way of them, especially of Zayn since he knew he liked Liam and he got the chance to be so close to him.

Louis wanted it too, he wanted to be close to Harry and kiss him. Those pink plump lips had been trying to seduce him ever since he first seen him and it only had gotten worse.

But he couldn’t because he had a ‘Girlfriend’ talking about the girlfriend, she is arriving today but he didn’t feel comfortable with leaving Niall alone.

One after one they all had woken up and ordered breakfast. Paul came into the room with the room service.

"Damn boys! I have been looking for you" He said and massages his head, probably because of the headache he had gotten.

"We are fine Paul" Liam said and reached for a plate. "Make sure you are ready in half an hour, Louis, El is already at the venue" He said and left. They all had ordered cerelas but Niall had gotten a piece of bread with butter.

For now Niall just needed to keep some of the food down to get used to it again and milk didn't sound like a good idea to start with.

"You didn’t tell us that El is visiting" Zayn said. "Yeah, I kinda forgot" "You forgot?" Liam questioned. "How can you forget your Girlfriend is going to visit?" Niall asked as he took a small bite of his bread.

Louis shrugged, he didn’t want to answer that question. His eyes moved over to Harry but the boy was staring into his bowl and ate in silence, while his curls were flying infront of his face.

 

Louis was immediately lead to Eleanor to go out. He didn’t have time to say goodbye to the boys. He quick sent Zayn a message to let him know when he is needed. Zayn just sent back a wink smiley and told him to enjoy himself and her.

Louis rolled his eyes, Zayn only thought about that one thing. Louis texted him back saying that he shouldn't fuck Liam while he was gone and take care of the others instead.

Zayn then texted him back he will take good care of Harry too and Louis got pissed and sent an simple fuck you back.

"So, how are things on tour?" Eleanor asked when they left the venue to go out for Starbucks, Louis really needed a coffee right now.

"Good and you?" Louis knew what things should stay between them five and what not. That’s why he is not going to spill anything about Niall and the other both who started to enjoy each other too much.

"I’m great" She said and nuzzled her head into the side of his neck. Well that was weird but the cameras were around so he played along even though it made him feel awkward.

She wasn’t Harry.

When the two entered Starbucks and sat down in one of the booth's she looked to Louis. “And? Anything new with Harry?” She asked innocent and Louis bit his lip and shook his head. “Nope, and it’s better that way anyways” “Well you two seem distant the last couple shows, your Mom and sisters were asking if you were fighting” “No we are not, but Management tries to stop our bromance” Louis shook his head, it was so stupid, honestly.

"That’s dumb" "I know" "What should I tell them?" Eleanor asked and Louis shrugged. "I’ll skype them later, then I will get Harry so they can see that nothing has changed"

The girl nodded and started to drink her coffee.

One hour later Louis got a message that they could go back now and Louis didn’t need to be told twice as he got up and walked back to the venue with Eleanor.

"Hey guys" Louis said as he walked with Eleanor by his side into the common room to see Liam and Zayn playing Fifa.

"Hey" The two boys said without looking away from the screen. "Where are the others?" Louis asked while he looked around not spotting his the curly haired friend.

"Bathroom, Niall had eaten something and we didn’t want him to go alone just in case" Liam said and paused the game. "Oh hey Eleanor" Liam said and his eyes got wide.

"Hey" She smiled and pecked Louis’ cheek. "I’m gonna find a place where I can get some rest" She said then "Alright" Louis said and then she kissed Louis’ lips. "See you later, have fun" She added before she left.

Louis then spotted Harry in the door “Hey Curls, I’m skyping home, you wanna join?” “Maybe later, gotta grab something to eat” He said and was out of sight before Louis could call him back.

"So, I think it’s time for Louis to get laid who is with me?" Zayn clapped into his hands implying to Eleanor goodbye kiss. Liam and Niall nodded. "No" Louis complained. "I’ll give you comdoms" Zayn suggested. "I don’t need condoms" "Well that right now was clearly a sign for you to follow" "Just because it’s a sign for you and Zayn doesn’t mean it’s a sign for everyone" Louis said to Liam.

"Yes it is" Niall argued. "No" Louis rolled his eyes. "I’m talking to my family, tell Harry he can come too" Louis rolled his eyes and left the common room.

 

"Hey Mom" Louis said and waved at the woman on the screen. "Hey Louis, how are you?" "I’m great" "How are the boys?" She looked concered. "They are great Mom" Louis smiled but his Mom could look through her boy’s smile.

"What is going on?" "How are the girls Mom?" Louis tried to change the subject. "They are great but they miss you, I miss you too" "I miss you guys too" Louis siad. "Louis, what is going on with you and Harry? First we thought you were fighting but it’s been going on for awhile now" "Mom, me and Harry are not fighting"

"Lou?" Harry opened the door and stuck his head through the door. "Hey Haz, my Mom is on" Harry smiled and closed the door and let himself down next to Louis. "Hey Jay" "Hey Harry, how are you?" "Great" Harry said. "See Mom, we are fine" Louis said and laid one arm around Harry to pull him into his chest.

Harry chuckled “Why shouldn’t we?” Harry asked and laid his arm around Louis’ waist. “On stage, you seem to get out of each others way” Jay said and looked to Louis.

"Oh yeah, Management told us to turn it down" Harry rolled his eyes.

"Louis, Harry!" The girls appeared from behind and interrupted their conversation and Louis was quite happy about that.

"Hey girls" Louis greeted his sisters. "See, they are still best friends" Daisy said.

They talked for a while.

“Louis, has El already arrived?” Fizzy asked. “Yes, she went to bed before I skyped you” “She went shopping with us the other day, it was amazing” She said. Louis smiled “That’s great”

"So girls, you have to go to bed, it’s past your bed time already and you have school tomorrow" Jay said and the girls complained. "No buts girls, I’m pretty sure Louis and Harry will skype again soon" "And anyways, they are going to disney land with us" Phoebe remembered.

"Yes, we will do that" Harry said and that was enough for the girls to say good night and to leave the room so Jay was alone with the boys again.

"Is really everything alright?" She asked again and Harry and Louis nodded. "Yes" The two boys answered.

"We need to go Mom" "Alright, take care you two" "We will" Louis said and waited until they said their goodbyes before he disconnected.

"How was it with Eleanor?" Harry asked and hid his hands in the sleeves. "It was good, we catched up again" Louis said and they walked out of the room.

Louis got a message, it was his Mom, telling him to skype him alone as soon as possible. He bit his lip, great. He knew that he couldn’t lie to her.

 

After soundcheck Louis excused himself to skype with his Mom again. He had said he was going to take a nap before the show. 

Harry asked if he could come with him, it wasn’t easy for Louis tell the younger boy no, but what his Mom wanted to talk about, he didn’t want Harry to hear.

Louis took a sharp breath in and then accepted his Mom's skype call. “Louis, talk to me” She said and Louis looked down. “About?” “You know, Eleanor” Louis wetted his lips and still avoided to look up. “We are not really dating” He said and looked up. Jay nodded “Ok, would you like to explain this to me then?” She said calm. “Management” was all he said. He heard his Mom sigh. “Why didn’t you tell me?” “Because they told me not to” “Why?” “They wanted it to be as real as possible” “How long have you been knowing that you have to get a fake girlfriend?” “That day I arrived on your birthday” “And they do that because of you and Harry?” Louis nodded. “Why?”

Louis bit his lip “Because so many think that me and him are in a relationship” Jay nodded “And?” “And what?” Louis got defensiv. “Are you?” No!” Louis said and Jay smirked “It was just a question” “Yeah” Louis said quiet and nodded

"Do the boys know too that Eleanor and you aren’t dating?" She asked and Louis shook his head. "Aren’t they allowed to know either?" Louis was quiet and looked down. "Louis, you know you can always talk to me" His Mom said. "I know Mom" "Then why don’t you?" Louis shrugged.

His Mom was silent too and Louis looked up to see if she was still there which she was. “Because- It was just so annoying everyone asking me if it was true and the boys kept joking about it and it annoyed me” “Why?” Louis bit his lip “I gotta go Mom” “No you don’t” she said and Louis hid his face in his palm. “I don’t want to talk about it” “About what?” Louis didn’t answer. He felt his head heating up.

"About Harry?" "Mom" Louis groaned. "I really want to help you but I can’t if you won’t tell me" "I don’t need help Mom" "I didn’t mean it that way Louis" Jay said. "I know Mom" Louis said and looked up at the screen.

"So it has something to do with Harry?" Jay took the silence as an cue to go on. "Is it something specific?" Louis chuckled and shook his head. "It’s everything" He said then and Jay smirked.

"Everything? in a good or bad way?" "Depends on how you see it" Louis said and Jay chuckled. He started to open up to her and that meant a lot to her. Finally she was hearing about what her son was feeling.  
"Since it’s Harry it can’t be bad" Jay said and Louis shrugged. "It kind of is" "Then tell me" "Don’t" Louis said as he felt the flashback from when he had to say it to Eleanor.

"What? I don’t know what you mean" Jay said and Louis bit his lip "Eleanor made me say it, I’m not saying it again" "So what does Eleanor know and not your Mom?" Jay asked offended and Louis locked eyes with her. "That-" Louis started and looked down. "I like Harry" Louis said.

"Well I’d be offended if you wouldn’t" The blood in Louis’ face froze as the voice was too deep to be his Mom's and Louis didn’t see his Mom’s lips move either.

"You are talking to your Mom? I thought you were taking a nap" Harry said and sat down next to Louis.

Jay chuckled “Yes, I woke him up, had to know something. I’ll go to bed, good night guys and Louis, we will message” “Alright, good night Jay” “Night Mom” Louis whispered and then his Mom disconnected. “Eleanor is looking for you and we have to get going to the show” Harry said.

Louis just nodded and got up “Thanks” He mumbled to Harry and left the room, leaving Harry behind.

 

Louis slept with Harry that night since Eleanor had to leave early the next day, one of her co-workers got sick and she needed to take the shift, not that Louis was sad about it.

"You sure you want to sleep here and not with Eleanor?" Harry asked as he climbed into bed next to Louis. "Yes, she is getting up early tomorrow and I’d like to sleep a bit longer" Louis said and Harry nodded. "Alright" "Or do you want me to leave?" "No" Harry looked to Louis. "Good" Louis chuckled and Harry chuckled too.

"What did your Mom want?" Harry asked and Louis swallowed, he knew Harry would ask that. "She just wanted to know when we have the next days off, maybe she’ll fly over?" "Really? That would be great" "Yeah" "Maybe my Mom can come too, I can ask her" Harry said and Louis just nodded along. Harry seemed so happy and excited about the idea.

"I can't believe that your Mom actually thought we would fight" Harry said then and crossed his hands behind his head. "Why?" "Because you had to tell her that we don't, twice today" Louis was confused. "You had to tell her that you still like me" Harry chuckled "I'm glad to know though"

Louis breathed out, so that was what Harry thought about when he actually had admited he has feelings for him. The older boy was relieved "Yes, I really hope we can go back to normal though, it sucks to avoid you on stage" Louis said. "I know, let's just hope that management gets back to normal soon" "When have they ever been normal?" Louis chuckled and Harry joined him.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

72 days of tour left

 

The next morning Harry and Louis were pushing each other into the other room, Liam had texted them to come over for breakfast, they were late already. "We have to be in the lobby in fifteen minutes, we are having an interview" Liam informed the boys.

Harry sneezed.

"Oh no, you are not coming down with something let me tell you that" Louis threatend and Harry sneezed again.

"I don't think so, I'll be fine" "You better be" Louis said. "Is Eleanor already gone?" Zayn asked curious and Louis nodded "Yes, she had to take over a shift" Louis shrugged. He wasn't really that good to keep it up to seem like a good boyfriend.

"You don't seem like you mind" Niall pointed out and Louis shrugged. The boys looked at him and raised each one eyebrow. "What?" Louis asked. "You haven't seen your girlfriend in weeks, then she is here for one day and you don't care that she is already gone?" Liam said, he was offended himself, if his girlfriend would treat him like that, he would have broken up with her.

"Well, there is nothing I can do about it" "He is right" Harry said. "He could sit here and be in a bad mood and cry over her or just get on with life, because they'll see each other again eventually" He said and Louis nodded "Exactly, or do you want me to cry?" "Nah" Niall said. "Good" Louis smiled and continued with his breakfast.

 

The boys were sitting on a big red couch, it wasn't normal to have a couch big enough so all of them would have enough space on it but this one did. But it wasn't like the boys were taking advanage of it. They prefered to sit close in one corner so they barely could breath.

"Guys, stop goofing around, we organized the big couch on purpose" Paul told them.

The interviewer wasn't here yet but their crew had already set up the cameras and the microphones.

"Let us have some cuddle time Paul" Harry said. "Just because you are not part of it" Louis said and laughed with his boys

"And remember, Louis, you stay next to Niall, don't think about leaning over Zayn and Liam to get to Harry, you can touch him later" Paul added. Louis rolled his eyes, it's not like he was going to listen to what an old man told him anyways.

An middle aged man got in, and while he greeted the boys and introduced himself, the boys started to untangle each other, but they were still too close for Paul's liking.

About a couple minutes into the interview Louis noticed that all the interviewer asked about were girls and of course Harry was the one he focused on.

Louis never liked it when his boy was shown off as the womanizer who would sleep with every female he stood next to. It wasn't only because it reminded him that Harry was into girls, but also, they were having the wrong image from the boy.

"Well actually" Louis interupted the interviewer who was asking Harry about his private life. "You don't know Harry, yes he is really charming and he likes to flirt, but if Harry is in a relationship then he is commited to his girl and he wouldn't sleep around. And anyways, at the moment there is no time for us to sleep around, we don't have the time" Louis said.

At the last part, him and the others chuckled and Liam and Zayn looked to the floor while they blushed.

"So Louis, but you have a girlfriend" "Indeed" "She was here for one day and you are not as innocent as you seem" The said to Louis. Louis shrugged "Well, the relationship I have with Eleanor is about more than just sleeping with each other" Louis said and he looked to Paul who supported his forehead in his palm out of frustration.

Louis chuckled, he loved to see Paul like this, it amused him. He catched Harry eyes and like they had planned it they both leaned over the two boys inbetween them to whisper to each other.  
The other boys seemed amused and chuckled to themselves.

As soon as the camera went off, Harry had to sneeze again and Louis quick shoved him a tissue in his face. "Thanks" Harry said and dried his nose. "Do you feel sick?" Louis asked worried "No" Harry said and smiled at his worried friend.

"Guys, lunch is in two hours" Paul said and left the room. "Ok so" Liam said and pointed towards the door and soon after, him and Zayn disappeared, leaving Niall, Louis and Harry alone.

"They are so gonna get together" Harry chuckled as they left the room aswell. "Yep" Louis agreed. "They'd be so cute" Niall said and laid himself down on the couch. "Yes and Zayn actually admitted to me that he likes him so, I think we should put matters into our hands and play love-god" Louis said and Harry agreed. "We should"

"Wanna play some fifa?" Louis asked the other two boys but only Harry agreed. "I'll watch though" Niall said. "How are you anyways Ni?" Louis locked eyes with the boy on the couch. "Great" Niall cheered and Louis raised his eyebrow.

"Well, I guess I'll be fine, just takes time" He said then and Harry smiled at him. "Of course you'll be fine, you got our back" "I know" Niall smiled.

Harry and Louis were halfway in their game when they noticed Niall had fallen asleep. They smiled at each other for a moment in a platonic way because they were glad Niall will feel better soon but then, it was just them, no one else, both of them had hidden feelings towards each other and in that moment it was like it spread out of each boy's body but soon their moment was interrupted and their feelings were floading back behind the shell were no one could get to them.

"Keep it PG-13 guys" Niall chuckled from behind them and the boys looked at Niall who had his hands behind his head and looked amused.

Louis' phone rang and without looking at the caller he picked up "Hey?...Oh hey El" He said and left the room.

Harry sighed "You wanna play for Lou?" "But only if we can skip that intense part a couple seconds ago" "It was nothing Niall"

Niall laughed "Dude, I saw the hearts flying around you two and you know it" "Let's just continue" "Haz, I bet if you would just kiss him, he'd be all yours" "He has a girlfriend Ni" Harry said while his eyes focused on the TV at his game character.

"Well yes, but that doesn't mean he hasn't feelings for you" "Yes it does" "No" "Can we please stop talking about it?" "Why?" "Because you are annoying" "Ok" Niall said and let the controller drop to the floor.

"No Ni, I didn't mean it that way" "Of course you didn't" Niall said hurt "Babe" Harry said and climbed on the couch to Niall to cuddle him. "I'm sorry, it's just-" "As soon as Louis is the issue you turn into a jealous monster" "Sorry" Harry pecked Niall's cheek.

 

After the concert all the boys were in a good mood. "How about we play some truth or dare?" Louis suggested. The boys agreed and they sat down on the floor with a bottle. Zayn turned it and let his eyebrows jumb once the bottle stopped at Louis.

"Dare" He said without hesitation. Harry cuckled and Zayn's expression. "Ok, king of dares" He raised and eyebrow at Louis. "I dare you to kiss Harry" He smirked and Louis rolled bored his eyes. "Zayn, after all those years playing truth or dare you can't come up with another dare?" Zayn shrugged and chuckled with Niall and Liam.

Louis made eye contact with the boy on his right. "Come here Curls" He said and Harry's eyes got wide. Louis chuckled "It's just a kiss, it's not going to kill you" "Well, then let's say a kiss with tongue for thirty seconds" Zayn added.

Louis scooted closer to Harry and laid his hand gentle behind Harry's head to pull him in. "Just pretend I'm some pretty girl" Louis joked before he closed the distance between them and pushed his tongue into Harry's mouth.

Liam and Zayn were smirking at the two and Niall looked disgusted, it was like watching two of his brothers kissing each other, it made him feel uncomfortable a bit.

"The time is up" Niall said then quick and Louis pulled away.

 

The next day, Louis was called in for a meeting with Paul and Simon to talk about Eleanor. Since the rumours wouldn't seem to stop they thought about sending them on a little vacation the next time when they'll have a couple days off. Louis complained, he wanted to spent the days with his boys and maybe his Mom would be able to fly over.

But he had no say in it, at first it sounded like they were asking him, but at the end Simon said that it was already set up.

Louis' phone buzzed and he grabbed it out. A message from Zayn, he furrowed his eyebrows. It was only eight something in the morning, why would he text him?  
The boy opened the message 'Louis, where the fuck are you? Come to yours and Harry's asap'

Louis swallowed, he started to worry. "Well whatever, I gotta go" Louis said and left Paul and the picture from Simon on the screen behind.

Louis rushed into the door and saw all of the four boys. Harry was laying in bed with the blanket covering his full body, only his head was seen. Harry's head was red and the sweat ran over his face, he looked like he had just come from the gym.

Liam Niall and Zayn were standing around the bed like they had waited for Louis to come.

"Louis" Zayn walked over "Long story short, Harry looked like this ever since we got in the room. He is burning up and won't get his shirt off and then he started to pull the blanket up"  
Louis looked to Harry who swallowed, he looked so scared. The eldest then walked over to Harry and laid his hand on the boy's forehead.

He locked eyes with Harry and then pulled the blanket away and let it drop to the ground. The boy on the bed was left with his boxers and a long sleeve shirt. "You know I don't have a problem with getting the shirt off myself aswell" Louis said but Harry looked down and held his shoulders with each of his hands like an X, to prevent Louis to get it off.

If the shirt is removed, his scars are out and he didn't want the boys to see. He didn't want Louis to see

"Hazza" Louis said and tried to get a grab for the shirt but Harry scooted over to the other side so Louis grabbed into the air. The older boy locked eyes with the other boys who were watching and they came closer to the bed.

"No!" Harry yelled out as Liam held down the boy's legs and Zayn and Niall each grabbed an arm. Louis sat down on the boy's hips. "Harry, you need to get that fucking long sleeve off, we need to cool your body down" Louis said. "No!" Harry tried to get out off the boys grib.

Louis then lifted the shirt and pulled it slowly over the boy's head. All boys let go of the kicking boy and Louis got off too. When he was standing at the side of the bed and watched confused the boy trying to cover his arms, he spotted the cuts.

"Harry!" Louis screamed out in panic. He grabbed for one arm so he could let his eyes focus on the cuts, Louis first thought it was that his mind was playing tricks on him but the longer he stared at them, the clearer the cuts seemed to become.

Louis could feel his eyes burning.

The other boys noticed too.

The room was quiet, no one said anything. Louis still held the arm in his hands, he leaned over to grab for the other aswell.

Louis catched his tears with his tongue that rolled over the corner of his lips.

His boy, why hadn't he noticed? He spotted on the boy's upper arm new ones, they seemed from yesterday.

Louis locked eyes with Harry, his eyes were wet aswell. Before anyone could say anything else, Louis got up and left the room.

Harry eyes disappeared behind his tears and the other four climbed into the bet. "Guess you were more jealous of Eleanor than I thought" Niall said and Harry started to cry. "He'll come back, he can't explain why you would do it" Zayn said and brushed some of the boy's curls out of his face.

"I'm sorry" Harry whispered. Louis came back into the room with a bucket and disappeared in the bathroom and soon after he got back out. "Can you leave me and Harry alone for a moment?" He asked and the boys nodded.

Once the door fell shut Louis placed the bucket with water next to the bed and ducked the cloth into the water. He ringed it out to ged rid of the unecessary water and laid it on Harry's forehead.

Harry closed his eyes and then he felt the bed sinking down next to him. The cool water relaxed him a bit, he had such a burning heat just moments ago, he had felt like he was locked in a fire.

"Haz, I thought we'd have a better relationship than that" Louis said then while his eyes were looking at every scar on the boy's arms.

"I'm sorry, I just-" Harry said. Louis waited, he wanted to know what could have happened that Harry would hurt himself like that. "You know what, just try and get some rest" Louis said calm and petted Harry's burning cheek. "I'll get you something against the fever" "No, stay" Harry grabbed for his arm.

"Can't you ask one of the others?" Harry asked and locked eyes. "I can" Louis said and sent a message to Zayn, he texted back saying they had already told Paul that Harry had a fever and that he was getting something to sink it.

Louis pecked Harry's forehead and then drowened the warm cloth back into the cold water. Louis gently wiped it over the hot forehead and then down Harry's side over his cheek, over the nose to the other side of his face. Harry closed his eyes, he felt his body already relaxing.

Louis wetted the cloth again and then went over Harry's neck to his chest. "That's nice Lou" Harry said and Louis smiled "Good" He leaned in to peck the boy's cheek again but then he stopped so his breath hit the pink cheek.

Louis wiped the cloth all over Harry, the legs, tummy and at last the arms. He tried to be extra careful, he was scared to open some new cuts. The question burned in Louis' mind. Why would Harry do it?  
"Lou, I'm cold now" Harry said and Louis chuckled lightly. He grabbed the blanket and tucked Harry in. "No, you too, please" Harry opened his eyes and Louis smiled. "Just a moment, I'll bring the bucket away"  
"No" Harry said and held Louis' hand. Their eyes met and Louis untucked one side to slide in beside Harry. "Better" Harry said and laid himself down on Louis' chest. Louis pecked his cheek, he still could feel the burning heat on his lips.

 

"Damn, I can't believe that Harry was so hurt by Louis being in a relationship" Liam said as he sat down in the room after they had dropped off Harry's medication.

"I know" Zayn nodded and Niall bit his lips "I can't believe that he tried to help me all this time when he needed help himself" "Don't make yourself feel guilty Niall" Zayn said. "I should have been there for him like he was for me" Niall said while he looked to the floor.

"Shut up Ni" Zayn said and pulled the blond boy into his chest. "It's not your fault" "I mean, I knew he was jealous and-" "Nialler, we all knew he was jealous" Liam said and patted Niall's back.

"Do you think Harry will be fine?" Niall asked and wiped a tear away before it could roll down his cheek. "Of course he will be, Louis' with him and we are too" Liam said and rested his head on Zayn's shoulder.

"How do you think Louis will react when he finds out Eleanor was the reason for his-" Niall stopped himself. "I don't think Harry would tell him" Zayn said. "He won't" Liam agreed with Zayn

.

Harry was sleeping and Louis petted his curls, he was holding him close and resting his head on top of Harry's. "You'll be fine Harry, I won't let anything hurt you I promise" Louis whispered.

"I know" Harry whispered back. "You can trust me, alright" "I know" "I'm sorry" "Don't be" "I'm there for you, alright?" "Niall needs you too" "You both do, all of us. Don't think I'll let you out of my eyes" "I don't want you to" "Sleep a little more, we have to get ready for the concert soon" "Will you stay?" "Yes, I'll be there when you wake up"

 

"Where is Louis?" Harry asked Zayn, Niall and Liam who entered the room behind him. They had just come back from the concert "Just getting something" Niall said and Harry nodded "Alright" The three boys stared at Harry. The boy sat down on the bed and feedled with his hands.

The door opened and Louis got in, the boys said goodnight to each other and the door fell shut. "What were you doing?" "I got you creme for your arms, it will help to heal faster" Harry looked to the tube. "Good, I thought you had bought lube" He chuckled and Louis did too. "Nah, wouldn't have to buy that, I could have just taken Zayn's and Liam's"

The two boys laughed but Harry's laughter died down when Louis opened the tube. "Get your shirt off so I can put this on them" Louis said. "No" Harry pulled the sleeve over his hands. "Come on" "I don't want you to touch them" "I thought you trusted me" "I do, but, please don't" "Harry" Louis said and locked eyes with his friend.

Harry bit his lip and pulled the shirt over his head. Louis walked over and laid his hand on Harry's chest to press him into the pillows. "Your fever sank" Louis said as he felt the normal temperature on Harry's skin.  
"Yes" "You should still take one more pill tonight though" Harry nodded and watched while Louis put the creme on his hands and then started to gently massage it into his arms. "Does it hurt?" "No" "Tell me when I hurt you" "You could never hurt me Lou" "Good, because I don't think I could handle that" "Why?" "Because you mean a lot to me"

Harry smiled and watched Louis, how his eyes followed his hands.

When Louis was done with the first one he grabbed for the tube again "I just hope Zayn won't steal it for his and Liam's pleassure" Louis said. Harry chuckled "Don't give me those images" "You are welcome" Louis chuckled and looked to Harry.

Harry looked back at him. "Done" Louis breathed out and Harry smiled "Thanks"

Louis leanded down a bit before a caught himself again, he got up and handed Harry a pill and a bottle of water. Then the older boy climbed into the bed next to Harry and closed his eyes. Harry scooted closer so he could feel Louis' breath hitting his face, but he didn't mind.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

The weeks went by quickly. The days were busy with photoschootings, interviews and the recording for the next album had started too. The afternoons were spent at the soundcheck and some time for relaxing while the boys slowly feeded Niall more and more so he was getting something on his bones again, and it worked. The blond boy was slowly turning into his normal, loud self again.

And Louis made sure that Harry was putting the creme on his arms twice a day but it'd still take a long time until the cuts had disappeared as much so they could hide it with make up. The eldest still didn't know why Harry had done it and he honestly was glad about it, because he wouldn't hesitate a second to kill whatever made Harry to feel like this.

If he would know that it was himself, because of the lie he was still living, the boy wouldn't be able to forgive himself.

During the day everything was fine between them but as soon as they layed in bed late at night, tired and still wet hair from the shower, the air would get thicker. So many words were left unspoken between them and it was sad for the others to watch them fighting through their pain even though it was unecessary.

But everything else seemed to be fine, until Louis got a call from Eleanor.

50 days left till the end of tour.

"Hey El, hang on a second" Louis said into the phone as he got up from the bed where he was cuddled up with Harry and Niall beside him. The two boys groaned as the eldest untangled himself. "Sorry guys, I'll be back" Louis said to the two boys who scooted closer to each other. Louis chuckled as he left the hotel room to enter an empty room where he could be alone.

"So, what's up?" Louis asked and walked towards the window "I'm doing great, and you?" "Same" Louis said and bit his lip. "Your Mom texted me, she knows we are not real?" "I know, I had to tell her" "You don't seem to be happy about it" She giggled "I am, but she also knows about Harry" Eleanor chuckled "Well, there are worse things" "No, not really"

"Yes, well, why I was calling you, you never told me about Perrie?" "Who?" Louis asked and wrinkled his eyebrows. "Perrie" Eleanor said again. "Never heard of that name, sorry Love" Louis said. "You know, Perrie, shoulder long hair, dies her hair alot, Zayn's girlfriend"

Louis started to laugh "Trust me El, he doesn't have a girlfriend, we would know" "No, really, this girl was standing at my door the other day" "She was probably a fan, trying to befriend you" "No, she has pictures with him, wait, I'll sent you some"

"Probably photoshop El" Louis rolled his eyes, he knew his fans would do anything to get close to them. A couple seconds later his phone buzzed and he put Eleanor on speaker.

Louis' eyes got wide, well those were really good photoshop he thought. "What the fuck" Louis stared at the pictures. One was where Zayn kissed her cheek, another one was when they kissed on the lips and another one where he was holding her from behind.

Louis was speechless. "El, I'll call you back" Louis hung up without waiting for an answer. The eldest stormed back into the room and immediately all eyes were focused on him.

"Zayn, can you come for a second?" He asked and tried to be as calm as possible. "Of course" Zayn left his spot next to Liam and the younger boy groaned. "Why?" Liam pouted "Because of things" Louis said and patted Zayn's back as he reached the door.

"You'll get him back in just a minute" Louis chuckled and closed the door. "What's the matter?" Zayn asked and Louis gribbed for Zayn's arm and pulled him into the other room.

"What is going on?" Zayn asked surprised. Without words Louis held the pictures with Zayn and the girl under his nose. "Who the fuck is she?" Louis asked angry.

Zayn stared at the picture and bit his bottom lip. "Zayn, I know you like Liam so what the fuck is that shit?" Zayn looked down "Because, it's not the best feeling in the world to know you have fallen for you fucking best friend with who you are also collegues with" Louis was quiet, he knew exactly how that felt.

"I know, but- how long?" Louis asked, he didn't want to bring too much attention to himself since he was actually doing the same, but him and Harry were complete different, he told himself, Harry didn't like him back and they weren't in item with each other.

"I don't know, maybe six Months now?" "Does she know?" "What?" "You and Liam?" "Of course not" "You can't give Liam hope and then do shit behind his back, this is going to bite you in the ass" "I give Liam hope? What do you think you were giving Harry?" "Well, at least Eleanor knows that we're not real!"

Louis opened his eyes in shock, he just didn't say that.

Zayn crossed his arms infront of his chest "What?" Louis was now the one looking to the ground. "Fuck, Louis" Zayn said. "This wasn't my decision, when I went home to see my Mom, Simon told me I had to 'date' Eleanor so the rumours with Harry would die down, I had no say in this" "But you could have told us, at least me" Zayn felt offended, he thought Louis and him were close enough to tell each other things like that, it also would have been helpful to know, because Zayn could have calmed Harry down when the boy had one of his moments.

"You also could have come to me about this girl" Louis argued. "This doesn't matter now, what matters is that Harry-" "What is with Harry?" "You need to tell him that you are not dating Eleanor, as soon as possible" "And you need to tell Liam about this girl, with whom you are in a relationship with" "But I don't love her" "Well then fucking break up with her and be with Liam" Louis said. "This is not so easy like you say it" The black haired boy said "Then you break up with Eleanor" Zayn added "I can't, we are not even real dating and I have to date her because of Simon, do you think I want that?" "Well, you could have told us, why didn't you?"

"Because you wouldn't stop bringing Harry and me up, it hurt Harry, it annoyed me and I just wanted to have a break from all of these rumours" "You wanted to get rid of them because you wanted them to be true" Zayn said then and Louis nodded. He was tired of lying. "But you really need to tell Harry" Zayn said "I can't" "You have to, you don't know what the boy went through, he was so deverstated"

"Harry has no reason to be devestated over who I date" "Louis, this boy feels more towards you than he would ever admit" "I could say the same about Liam, the only diference is that Liam really does" Zayn rolled his eyes. "Damn you are so stuborn" Louis said and left the room to get to the others. Zayn followed him.

When the two boys entered the room the three boys on the bed looked at them "Everything alright?" Niall asked. "Sure" Louis said and laid down next to Harry again, it was ridiculous, Harry doesn't like him more than just as a friend.

Zayn scooted back into the side to Liam, he still had it better than Louis anyways, because he could do things with Liam and preted to be with him even if he wasn't and Louis couldn't. Zayn still felt bad for Louis that he actually had to fake date the girl though. He got his phone out texted his older friend.

Z "Hey, sorry that u have to actually fake date, does ur mom know?"  
L "Yea, since a couple weeks, she also figured out w/ Haz. Shit happens"  
Z "U really need to tell H  
L "Only if u end it with that girl"  
Z "K but dont tell Liam"  
L "Course not, dont want him to kill u"  
Z "Thanks for still caring"  
L "U too"

"Are you talking to Eleanor again?" Harry asked "No, no. Mom" "How is she?" "She is doing great" Louis said and put his phone away.

 

Paul got them a few hours later, they needed to get ready for soundcheck, then dinner. Paul came and watched Niall, the boy was finally starting to eat normal again. "Good to see you are doing better Niall, was about to call a doctor" He patted Niall's back as the blond boy swallowed his dinner. "Nah, just needed the boys" Niall said and Paul smiled before he looked at the others and left.

It was two hours until the concet and Liam and Zayn were hiding once again in a room. Liam's foreheard was resting against Zayn's as the older boy was pressed against the wall. "Ever since you have come back with Louis, you are tense" Liam said. Zayn chuckled "I know" "Why?" "Don't know" Zayn said. A smirk spread over Liam's lips before they kissed.

At first it was one of the ones full of lust but as they just stood there, as close as possible to each other so there was no room for air between them, the kiss turned into so much more. It was one of those kisses they exchanged sometimes in the morning or late at night. Those were Zayn's favorites, he cupped Liam's cheek and wiped with his tongue over Liam's lips. The younger boy moved his hands from the wall to Zayn's shoulder while he opened his mouth for Zayn's tongue.

They forgot why they were actually hidden in a room again, but it didn't matter for them, just kissing was fine for both of them and while Zayn was enjoying the moment he couldn't keep himself of thinking of Perrie, he really didn't want to ruin that moment, but he had to break it off with her. The boy just didn't think it was right towards Perrie, he still didn't believe that Liam would actually fall for him, but he was here kissing him, just kissing, even though they had planned to do something else.

Maybe Louis was right? Zayn thought, maybe Liam did like him back but the black haired boy got rid of the thought soon, that was ridiculous, someone like Liam wouldn't fall for someone like him.  
But Zayn couldn't find the courage to pull away yet, or push Liam away since he couldn't move because he was pressed against the wall and Zayn didn't want to pull away either, he wanted to feel Liam close as long as he could because he didn't know how long it will last.

 

Niall was sleeping the night with Liam and Zayn, the boys ate with him a bowl of cereals and they just wanted to make sure Niall was fine. Zayn had immediately suggested Niall that he could sleep with him and Liam, Louis knew why.

"Have you put your creme on?" Louis asked Harry while the older boy pulled a fresh boxers on. "No" Harry sighed, he had just laid down, he wanted to rest. "I'll do it tomorrow" "No, you'll do it now" Louis said and got the tube from the bathroom. "But I'm too tired" Harry pouted. "Then let me do it" Louis said and sat down next to Harry on the bed.

The younger boy sighed and pushed the blanket back so his bare chest was showing. The younger boy was glad actually that he didn't have to hide under a long sleeve shirt in moments like this, though he still wasn't feeling comfortable with Louis seeing it. "Haz?" Louis asked while he started to massage the cold creme on the boy's arms. "Yes" "I never got to know why you started to- why you hurt yourself" Louis said.  
Harry locked eyes with Louis. "I wanted to help Niall but I couldn't" He said then. "You helped him" Louis said and reached his hand out to pet over Harry's cheek. "You helped him so much, Haz" "But I couldn't sooner" "You were the first one who knew about it, you were the first one who helped him Curls" "But I couldn't make him stop" Harry bit his lip and looked away.

"Haz, you tried and as you noticed you couldn't do it alone anymore you told us" "I should have done it earlier" "Stop saying that because it's not right" "Lou, I'm so sorry" Harry said and Louis spotted the tears that started to leak out of his eyes.

Louis smiled and held himself up with his ellbow, with his other hand he wiped the boy's tears away. "None of that" Louis said and let his hand linger on Harry's cheek. The younger boy laid his hand on top of Louis' to keep it there. Louis wouldn't have taken the hand back anytime soon anyways but Harry didn't know that.

"It's crazy, but I miss you, that doesn't make sense" Harry said as he tried to lean closer to Louis' touch. "We didn't have much time, that's true. And that we are also not allowed to be close on stage...the last couple weeks were crazy" Louis agreed. "I'm scared that we aren't close anymore, I'm scared I have pushed you away" Harry whispered. "You could never push me away" Louis said and leaned in so their noses toched. "Is this close enough?" Louis joked and the two boys laughed quietly. "You are dumb" Harry said.

"You didn't answered my question though" Louis teased. Harry chuckled. "The answer is no" Harry smirked and Louis giggled and leaned in further. "Now?" "Nope" Louis leaned in a little further. "How about now?" "No" Louis then closed the inch between them and pressed his lips agains Harry's.

Louis wanted to pull back but Harry cupped the older boy's jaw and followed Louis' lips to keep him close.

"Was that close enough?" Louis asked as he pulled back, his lips were swollen and the younger boy breathed into his face but Louis didn't mind. "Yes" Harry breathed out and Louis smiled "Good" He pecked Harry lips one more time before he laid down next to him again.

While they were just staring into each others eyes they had a silent conversation, both knew this wasn't going to change anything. Tomorrow they had to go back to be best friends and forget about what had happened just moments ago, even though none of them wanted to.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

49 days left of tour. 

 

Harry and Louis were getting dressed. None of them could stop thinking about what happened yesterday. The kiss felt so right and so good.

Harry dared to watch Louis how he was pulling the shirt over his head. He could never have him no matter how much he wanted to. He had him for a couple minutes yesterday night and that's all he's always gonna have.

A memory.

The younger boy was pulled back into reality when Louis had picked up his phone and greated Eleanor on the other line. Harry quick got dressed and left the room.

 

"Morning guys" Harry smiled as he entered the room. The TV was on and he only saw Niall and Liam. "Hey Haz, where is Louis?" Niall asked. "Talking to Eleanor" Harry said and let himself fall inbetween the boys. "Where's Zayn?" Harry asked. "In the shower" Liam said.

They fell into a silence where only the TV was heard. "He kissed me" Harry said then. They all already knew about his feelings for the older boy and he was tired of keeping things to himself, he had seen where it would lead if they'd keep things to themselves.

"What?" "Who?" The two boys asked shocked. "Lou" Harry said and looked to Niall. "How did that happen?" Harry shrugged "It just kind of did" "And now?" "What do you mean Ni?" "What is now with you?" "Nothing? We are forgetting about it and move on, like it never happened" Niall sighed. "Why?" "Because he has a girlfriend" Harry said.

"At least Liam get's his boy" Harry stated and Niall nodded along. "At least these two get their shit together" Niall agreed "What?" Liam asked surprised. "Yes, don't even try to convince yourself that you don't have feelings for Zayn because you do" Harry said.

"No I don't" Liam argued. "Li, you can't tell me that you don't have any feelings for each other, you sleep with each other" Niall said.

"And that's exactly why we didn't tell you. We knew you'd say that" "Li, friends with benefits never works out, it always ends with a broken heart for one of them" Harry said "Well it's not me because I don't have feelings for Zayn"

Silence.

"And Zayn doesn't either, we have talked about it, we do it to get rid of the stress, that's all" Liam said. "Whatever" Niall rolled his eyes and locked them with Harry. They both chuckled because they knew better.

 

Zayn heard it.

He was hurt even though he knew that Liam didn't feel the same but to hear it broke his heart. Harry was right, one would get a broken heart and it was him. He took a deep breath and walked into the room. "Hey Haz" "Zaynie" Harry cheered and jumbed off the bed to gave him a hug.

"That is a welcome, I'm flustered Curls" "Ey, that's my nickname" Louis came into the room and pouted. Harry chuckled. "You own him now?" Zayn teased "Yep" Louis said and laughed. "I guess I'll see you at the court" Zayn joked.

The two boys made a fist bumb. "Zayn, can I talk to you for a second?" Louis asked and pointed to the door. "Sure" Zayn said. Louis laid his arm around his friend's shoulders and lead him out of the room.  
Niall watched Harry and Liam stare at the door, both with the same face expression. The blond boy chuckled "The jealousy is real" He said and smirked at the boys. Harry rolled his eyes and cuddled into Niall's side. "No I'm not" Liam gifted from the other side of the bed.

 

"Problem" Louis said as he shut the door to the other room. "That is?" Zayn asked curious. "I was just talking to Eleanor, and she has to come visit me and she is bringing Perrie, she told me not to tell you because it should be a surprise but I thought you wanted to know that"

Zayn started to stare on the foor. "Zayn, you alright?" Louis asked and laid his hand on his friend's shoulder. "What happened?" He asked worried "Nothing" Zayn said and wanted to turn around. "What did Liam say?" Louis asked. Zayn shook his head. "It's not like I didn't know it, I'm so dumb, Louis please punsh me" "No, what did he say?" "He just confirmed that he doesn't have feelings for me, which I am not surprised about" "That's rubbish, listen, you need to break up with Perrie and then tell Liam how you feel" "Why should I embarrass myself infront of him?" "You wouldn't" "Perrie can come, it's not like it would hurt Liam's feelings, since he doesn't have any" "Zayn don't do this, let me talk to Liam, you are just breaking the two of you. I'm glad that we got Niall and Harry back on track" Louis said.

"Harry? Did you tell him that Eleanor is not your real girlfriend?" "No, but-" "No but's Louis, he needs to know or you are breaking him again"

"I-I kissed him yesterday night" Louis said instead of saying anything related to Zayn's statement.

"You did what?" Zayn asked shocked. "Yeah" Louis nodded while a dumb smile spread over his lips. "And now?" Louis shrugged and looked down. "We agreed that it was a one time thing and that we go back to be best friends" Zayn shook his head "No, you can't because we both know that you will not stop thinking about it"

"You are right, but still" "I don't see what your problem is, just tell Harry you and Eleanor are not real and be with him" "It sounds so easy when you say it" Louis chuckled. "Because it is" "But there is one problem" Zayn rolled his eyes "That is?" "He doesn't like me that way" "God, he fucking kissed you back, didn't he?" "Well yes" "So?" "If you say that Liam doesn't like you back then Harry doesn't like me back either" "You can't compare that" "But I just did"

"Louis, in what a mess are we in? We are lilterly telling each other that one of our boys likes us back, that's ridiculous" Zayn said and chuckled. Louis chuckled too. "I know, but that doesn't change the fact that it's true for you"

All the boys were called to start with their duties.

For some reason Liam couldn't keep his eyes off Zayn that day, the way he had his hair and those black jeans with the red shirt. The younger boy noticed that Zayn seemed to ignore him and Liam didn't like it one bit. He wanted to be the only one who gets his attention.

He felt threatend when earlier Harry and Niall brought his and Zayn's relationship up. To deny it seemed to be the right thing since Zayn was near. He didn't want the other boy to know how he really felt towards him.

 

After Paul had told them they had a ten minute break, Liam pulled the other boy into a room.

"What-?" Zayn said before the door fell shut and lips were pressed against his. It was soft but neady at the same time too. "Why are you ignoring me?" Liam asked. "I'm not" Zayn said quiet and looked to the ground. "Yes you do" Liam argued. Zayn shrugged. "Just feel a little sick today" Liam furrowed his eyebrow and laid gentle a hand on Zayn's cheek, then moved it to his forehead. "You are not warm though, maybe you just need a little bit of rest?" Liam suggested and Zayn nodded along.

"Hey, what's the matter?" Liam asked as he sudied Zayn's face.

The older had trouble to not show his feelings, he was hurt and even though his mind told him to go and leave and to finish it with Liam, he couldn't. Something inside of him didn't let his legs function like he wanted them to.

"Does it have to do with Louis?" "No" Zayn said. They locked eyes and Liam leaned it.

It felt like the first time when Liam had kissed him before he went to talk to his Mom. Zayn felt like he could do anything in that moment while their eyes were locked and Liam slowly brought his face closer to Zayn's.

The older boy leaned in too, just one more kiss, he will give in this one last time and the next time he will call it off. Perrie was a nice girl and he will have some distraction when she is here.  
Their lips slowly brushed together before they started to kiss proberbly.

 

"What do you have to talk with Zayn about all the time?" Harry asked curious and locked eyes with Louis, Niall was listenting too.

"Oh, just-" Louis started "The truth" Harry added before Louis could finish. The eldest looked to the door before he looked back to his friend. "He has a girlfriend and she is coming over with El" Louis said. "What? But doesn't he- I thought- But the thing with Liam?" Niall blurred out and Louis nodded. "I know, I have already given him shit for that, but this morning he had heard Liam tell you two, that he doesn't feel that way about him and now he tries to get his mind off Liam with her" Louis said and Harry stared at the floor.

"We need to get Liam tell Zayn how he feels before this ends in a mess" Louis added and Niall nodded "But how? If we tell them the other likes them back then they don't believe that" Harry said and Niall chuckled "Sounds familiar doesn't it?" He raised his eyebrow.

"No time for jokes Ni, I'll try to talk to Liam later" Louis said and soon after the door opened and Paul got in with the other two.

 

"Louis, what the fuck are we doing in a spare room?" Liam pouted after the older boy had pulled him into a room. "I need to talk to you" "Why?" "Because I need to know something" "And you have to do that in a room for the stage equipment?" "Yes" Louis said and Liam chuckled "Can't that wait till tomorrow? I'm tired" "No" Louis said.

"What is it?" "Well, you know I care about you, right?" "Ehm, yeah?" "And, you know I care about Zayn too" "Yes" "So, what is that with you?" Liam crossed his arms infront of his chest and eyed Louis for a moment. "I'll tell you only if I can ask you something aswell" "This is not about me Liam" "But I care about you too" The younger boy said.

"Fine" Louis rolled his eyes. "But I go first" He added and Liam nodded. "So, tell me what is the thing with Zayn?" "What is there else to say, you know what we do" "Yes, but what do you feel?" "Nothing, listen Louis, if you want me to tell you that I like Zayn then I'll leave because I don't have any feelings for him" "Liam, I just try to help you" "With what?" "I need you to admit your feelings for Zayn and to tell him"

Liam was silent.

"Listen, I know how you feel" Louis said "Oh so you have come to your senses with Harry?" Liam asked. "Yes" Louis pressed his eyes together. "But that's not what I'm talking about, look into my eyes and tell me you don't have any feelings for Zayn"

Louis locked eyes with Liam.

"I-I" Liam stopped and looked down. "Even if I have feelings, it doesn't matter" "Yes it does, tell him" Louis said and Liam bit his lip "Why did you kiss Harry?" Liam asked to get the attention off of him. "Because I wanted to" Louis said calm. "But you have a girlfriend" Liam said quiet. "No I don't" Louis said and left the room.

 

 

The next morning was stressful. Louis had tried to talk to Liam a couple times about Zayn but he always pushed him away.

As they finally had lunch break and entered the hotelroom, a bad surprise waited for them.

Eleanor and Perrie.

Zayn had it a lot easier to greet her and kiss her, Liam wasn't happy at all and stared at the two with an open mouth and wide eyes.

"Guys, this is Perrie, my girlfriend" Zayn smiled. "Babe, I'm so glad you finally told them about me, I can't wait to come over more often with El" She cheered.

Louis had Eleanor just given a hug and a peck to the cheek to not cross the line.

Niall locked eyes with Liam and the brown haired boy left the room, followed by Niall and Harry.

"Oh, what is with your friends?" Perrie asked. "Just a long day" Zayn said and kissed her lips again. Louis watched them with a frown, this wasn't right. "So Louis, I gotta go. I'll see you later" Eleanor said "You too" Louis smiled weak and the girl left.

"Louis, could you leave Zayn and me alone?" Perrie asked and Louis bit his lip "Sorry, but Zayn has to work now, let's go lover boy" Louis said and pulled the boy out of the room. 

"It didn't seem like you told Liam" Louis said. annoyed "I could say the same about Harry" "I told you before, me and Harry don't sleep with each other" "Liam and me didn't either last night, we just-" "You just what? kissed? Cuddled?...Zayn, you two have crossed that 'bro' line a while ago, you hurt his feelings" "He said he doesn't have any" "He lied" "And you know that because-?" Louis groaned, it had no use anyways.  
The two entered the lobby, Liam and Niall were gone just Harry was standing near Paul and looked to the floor with his hands in his pockets. Louis walked over and laid one arm around the boy. "You alright?" "No, have you seen Liam's face?" Harry said quiet so only Louis could hear him "I did" Louis said and pulled Harry into his chest.

"Where are the others?" Zayn asked as he walked over. "Already going to the venue" Paul said "And the next time let us know when a girlfriend is visiting" The man added and eyes Zayn. Zayn nodded and looked down.

 

 

"I hate him so much" Liam said and hid his head in his palms while Niall held him in the tiny car. "I know, I do too" "All this time I was just a spare keeper for when his fucking girlfriend wasn't here" Liam sobbed. "I mean, the last couple weeks it was less about getting each other off, more about to be close and that shit. I'm so dumb" "No you are not Li" Niall wiped the boy's tears away.

"I hate him so much" Liam repeated himself.

Liam ignored Zayn the rest of the day, the older boy tried to talk to Liam a couple times but the younger one always shoved him away.

Also Louis could feel that Harry was taking the distance too which he wasn't so happy about. "Haz, can we talk later?" Louis asked while they changed clothes during the concert. "Ehm sure" Harry said unsure before they had to go out again.

 

As soon as they entered the hotel, Liam was walking straight to his room, Zayn ran after him but Liam shut the door right infront of him. "Liam" Zayn knocked against the door but no answer, just a loud bang against the door from the inside.

"Zaynie, you are back!" Perrie cheered and jumbed on the boy's back. "Yes, I am" He said. "Let's go, I'm tired" She said and kissed Zayn's cheek.  
Niall and Harry were long gone.

Louis watched Zayn glance at the closed door before he looked to Louis and carried Perrie on his back into their room.

"Li, open the door" Louis said and knocked at the door, he didn't want to leave Liam alone for the night. "Go away Louis" "Hey, come on, open the door, please" Louis knocked again.

A while later the door opened and Louis saw Liam laying on the floor infront of the door. The eldest sighed and laid down next to him.

"You knew" Liam said cold. "Yes" "You wanted me to tell Zayn that I like him so he would laugh at me" "No, that's not true Li" "I talked to Zayn, he told me about you and Eleanor"

Silence.

"You know, you are hurting Harry" "Why is everyone saying that?" "Because we all know"

Liam was laying in his bed, the clock showed 3:24am. His head hurt due to the crying, how stupid could he be to even consider Zayn liking him back and that Louis would manipulate him like that even made himself think, maybe he was just a toy for them. For the uncountable time he looked at the message he had gotten from his management, that he could always agree for the solo previews. 

Maybe they were right, maybe he was better off without them.

He typed in a simple "Ok" and pressed the sent botton before he turned his phone off and tried to sleep.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

40 days till the end of tour.

 

"Paul, do you know where Liam keeps going?" Harry asked while he had some cereals with Niall.

Louis was out with Eleanor who had arrived yesterday again and Zayn was out with Perrie who had come along too.

Liam and Zayn still ignored each other and the other boys stopped to try to get them to talk since Liam was gone every time they had a break during the day. None of them knew that he was working on a couple solo tracks.

Paul did know, but he wasn't allowed to say anything.

"Sorry guys" Paul shook his head "But he'll be there in time for Soundcheck, don't worry" The man smiled and left.

 

"I'm so excited for our trip to Hawaii, I have always wanted to go there" Eleanor said as they sat down in the Starbucks cafe. "It's nice there, do you know when we'll leave?" "Yes, in two days" "Already?" Louis asked surprised. "Yes, they actually wanted to do it two weeks before the end of the tour since you'll have three days off but then they decided to do it as soon as possible"

Louis chuckled "They are so pathetic" "Well, they wouldn't be if you and Harry wouldn't be so obvious about your feelings" "El, shut up" Louis chuckled. "But it's true, he is so hurt everytime he sees me" "You are seeing things just like the others" "No, you are the only who doesn't see it"

 

"CURLY" Louis jumbed on the sleeping boy who was taking a nap before the show. "Lou, get off of me" He groaned but couldn't keep the smile off his face. "I know you love it when I wake you up like that" the older boy teased while he sat down on the boy's hips and looked down at him. "You are wrong, I hate it when you do that" "Nooo" Louis said and started to tickle him.

"Lou" Harry laughed and started to tickle Louis aswell. The older boy tried to shield his tummy with his arms, as he noticed it didn't work he started to curl together and laid his forehead on Harry's chest. "Stop it Hazza"

Harry laughed and laid his arms around Louis to cuddle him "Ok" He chuckled and Louis looked up. He felt save to be on Harry and to have his arms around him.

He was the eldest but even he needed to feel save sometimes. "We need to go" Louis said then while their eyes were locked. "I know, but I don't want to" Harry groaned. "Me neither"

The door slambed open "Guys, we are already late" Niall yelled into the room. Louis rolled his eyes and got off Harry to help him up.

When the boys arrived at the venue, Liam was already there. "Liam, where the fuck have you been?" Louis asked "Nowhere" Liam answered and walked away once he felt Zayn's eyes on him.

"I fucked up" The black haired boy said and the others just nodded to agree with him. "You still can break up with Perrie and tell him the truth" Niall said. "I could, but Perrie is such a nice girl-" Zayn started "Zayn, you don't love her, you love Liam so fucking tell him" Louis said.

"Are you gonna tell Harry?" Zayn raised his eyebrow. "I tell Harry every day, right sweetcheeks?" Louis pinched Harry's cheek and the younger boy chuckled. "You do boo"

"God, I can't watch this, really" Niall said angry and left. The blond boy had enough of his friends denial shit, he needed a break from them all.

Without saying anything Zayn left into another direction to leave Harry and Louis behind.

 

The blond boy went into the bathroom, he needed to cool off. What was this band even? All of his boys fell inlove with each other but don't get it together.

When Niall turned the water on to cool his face, he heard noises from one of the stalls.

Liam, he thought and found the only locked stall at the end of the toilet sections. "Li?" Niall knocked. "Go away Ni" "Liam open up" the irish boy said and pulled the door knob. "Leave me alone" "No, you didn't leave me alone either" "That was something complete different" "No it's not. Babe, open the door" Niall insited and after a moment the lock opened.

Niall opened the door and regreted it right after, the boy sat on the closed toilet with toilet paper in his hand, red eyes and tear stains on his cheeks. The boy looked awful.

"Liam" Niall whispered before he bent down to pull the boy into his arms. "It's alright, he is an ass" "He is even worse" Liam sobbed. "I hate him even more because I miss him" Liam said then after he had filled another layer of toilet paper. "As what do you miss him?" "What do you mean?" "Do you miss him as your best friend or the un-nameable things you both started?"

"I don't know" Liam wiped his tears away. "Think about it" "And then?" "Tell me" "What is your plan?" "Nothing, but the thing is, if you miss him as your best friend then he should fucking apologize for his shit and then you need to talk it out so you can be best mates again" "But what if I miss him the other way?" "Tell him" "I guess I just miss him as a best friend then" Liam said with a half smile and Niall chuckled. "But if you really do miss him the other way, you might regret it" Niall pecked Liam's forehead and left the bathroom.

Liam was confused, why should he do the first step? He didn't have a girlfriend behind Zayn's back.

 

The next day after breakfast, the room service just had closed the door, Louis, Harry and Niall got up aswell. "Wait, where are we going?" Liam and Zayn had gotten up too, they didn't have anything planned for the next few hours so they thought they'd just watch a movie.

"We are leaving" Louis made a hand gesture to himself, Niall and Harry. "You two talk, now" Louis pointed at the two who had gone pale at the last part. "What if we don't want to?" Zayn said, his voice shook and you could already see the sweat drops on his forehead.

"Well then you'll just stay in this room for the next two and a half hours and you'll spent them in silence" Niall said while he followed the other two out of the room, while he waved a door key in the air.

"You are not fucking going to lock us in this room" Liam complained. "Yes we will" Harry said and they shut the door and turned the lock before the other two boys could reach the door.

"Let us out!" Zayn kicked against the door from the inside. "Talk your stuff out then you'll be fine. We are coming back to get you for the Soundcheck" Louis said and then he left with the other boys.

The two boys didn't move nor said anything for ten minutes, they still stood infront of the door, not sharing a look.

"Liam" Zayn started but the younger boy felt his tears sting in his eyes and walked towards the bathroom, he wasn't going to cry infront of that idiot.

Zayn chased after him. He could just get his food in the door as it was about to fall shut. "Leave me alone" Liam groaned but Zayn didn't listen and got into the bathroom aswell, locking the door with the key and let it drop into his pocket.

Liam had sat down on the bath tub edge to face Zayn with his back while he had crossed his arms infront of his chest.

Zayn let himself down on the wall behind Liam. "I'm sorry" Zayn started. "You said that before" Liam gifted. "I know, I don't know what else to say"

Silence.

"I hate it when you ignore me" Zayn tried to get Liam to talk to him too, so he could tell him how to fix this but the younger boy didn't say anything.

"Fuck! I don't know anyway why you are pissed at me? Because I fucked you and her at the same time? She should pissed at me and not you!" Zayn yelled. "I'm pissed because-" Liam turned around to face Zayn now.

"Because?" Zayn got up aswell to be on eye level. "You lied, you were not only cheating on that girl, you were also selfish enough to use me! I feel so dumb right now" "Please, we used each other" Zayn said. "So this is what this was for you? Just using each other?" "That was what we have agreed to"

"Yes, you are right, stupid me" Liam said and sat back down on the bath tub edge. Zayn sighed and slid down the wall again.

"The boys were right, this thing never ends good" Zayn said and Liam nodded. "Zayn, I-" Liam looked up and locked eyes with Zayn.

The older boy got up and walked over to Liam, their eyes still were locked and Zayn brushed some hair out of Liam's face as he slowly leaned in.

"I just want my best friend back" Liam whispered and Zayn pressed his lips together. "Me too" He said and pressed a kiss to Liam's cheek.

The older boy slowly pulled back and sat down next to Liam.

"Can we just forget that all and be best friends again?" Liam asked careful "Wouldn't be smart anyways to hate each other for long" Zayn said. "I didn't hate you, I was just angry" Liam said and locked eyes with Zayn. "I didn't hate you either" The other boy said.

They had locked eyes for a while until Zayn got up and pulled Liam up on his hand to hug him. Liam hugged him back and nuzzled his head into Zayn's neck.

 

"Awww look at those two, watching The Averangers together and cuddling" Louis said excited and laid one arm around Harry's shoulder and bumbed lightly their heads.

"Shut up Louis" Liam said and turned the TV off while Zayn put his arm back to himself. "So, tell us" Niall smirked and crossed his arms infront of his chest. "What is there to tell? We are best friends" Zayn smiled.

The day passed slowly but things seemed to go back to normal, only that it got a little awkward always when Liam and Zayn locked eyes or those cliche accidentaly touches.

The other three were amused by it though, but at this point the two boys needed to figure it out themselves what to do with their relationship, because the sexual tension between them wasn't subtle at all.

 

Louis laid in bed next to Eleanor that night, he needed to get up early to get to the plane. He first didn't want to leave Harry but he also wanted Harry to sleep in the next day since the past days had started early for them.

"Just tell him for christ sake, what are you waiting for?" Eleanor asked as she put her book down. "I don't know, I'm scared I guess" "Of what?" "I don't know" Louis said and looked at his tummy. "At least tell him that we are fake, I can't handle those stares anymore"

Louis cracked a smile "Maybe you are right" "Yes I am" Louis chuckled "I'll go to sleep, good night" "Night"

It was five in the morning when Louis and Eleanor were lead out of their room by a secuirty guard.

Louis just needed to say goodbye to Harry, he needed to see him one more time before he won't see him for three days.

"Hey, I just have forgotten something" Louis said before they entered the elevator. "Sure, We'll wait in the lobby" The guard said and the elevator door closed.

Louis took a sharp breath in before he turned around to walk back to the rooms. Quietly he opened the door and he already heard Harry mumbling some words in his sleep. The older boy closed the door behind himself and walked towards the bed. He smiled at the young boy who was curled up on the bed facing the door.

His lips were lightly apart as it slowly moved to form some words that Louis couldn't understand.

He sat down on the bed, not sure what do to next.

"Haz, I know you are sleeping, but I gotta go now, I'm gonna miss you and-" Louis whispered and laid gentle his hand on the boy's curls "I just wanted to let you know that Eleanor is not my girlfriend, Management gave her to me, I'll explain it to you when I'm back. I love you Curls" The boy said quietly and pressed a soft kiss to the boy's cheek. He pulled back and placed his hand in Harry's for a moment before he got up and left.

As the door fell shut, Harry opened his eyes. Did he dream? Probably, because Louis was gone.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

38 days of tour left

 

Harry wasn't able to fall back asleep, he automatically reached for the other side of the bed to cuddle closer to Louis, but he reached into an empty space. The sheets were cold, which reminded him that Louis was spending the night at Eleanor's and that he was off to Hawaii for a couple days with her.

Harry got up and pulled some pants on and a shirt before he left the room. The young boy took the elevator up to the roof to get some fresh air.

As he left the elevator a nice wind hit his face before he spotted a too familiar body sitting on the ground facing him with his back.

"Li" Harry called out and the boy on the roof turned around, he had his legs pulled to his chest. "Morning Harry" Liam smiled softly as he watched Harry sitting down next to him.

"You doing alright?" Liam asked. "Of course, and you?" Liam looked back to look over the roofs of the buildings infront of him. "No" He said quiet.

"Because of Zayn?" Liam nodded. "We made up in some way, but-" He stopped himself.

"Not the way you wanted to" Harry finished for him and the other boy nodded. "I just miss him so much, there are no touches, no real hugs, no kisses" He hid his face in his palm.

Harry laid one arm around Liam. "I know how you feel, I miss Lou too"

Liam needed to bite his tongue to not blur out with the truth, the poor boy still had no idea that he was the only one who didn't know about Louis' fake girlfriend yet.

"He'll always come back to you Haz" Liam said and pecked Harry's hair as he pulled him in. "Well, I don't think so but thanks. Same is for Zayn, he is just scared" "What do you think I am Harry? I'm scared too, it could ruin so much, but I'd rather have it ruin that way than this right now" "I know" Harry said.

 

Niall, Liam and Harry were hanging out in Harry's room, the boys didn't mention that Harry was wearing a too small shirt for him, they just stared at the TV not paying attention to the show.

"Who knew we would end like that?" Niall said while a guy on TV was talking. "What do you mean?" Harry asked him from his right side. "That this is like a dumb romance movie where I'm just the sidekik-friend who is done with everyone's shit"

"I bet" Liam said. "I'm done with Zayn's shit too" Liam said. "I could never be done with Louis' shit, I love him" Harry said. "You love him?" Liam asked, knowing the exact same feeling.

"Yeah" Harry chuckled "I had this weird dream, Louis came into my room and told me he loved me" "A dream is a wish that your heart makes" Liam said, remembering that one song. "I dreamed about a big chocolate ice cream with strawberries and bananas, I guess you are right then Li" Niall joked which caused the two next to him to hit him with a pillow.

 

Zayn was still laying in bed with Perrie on his chest while she drew patterns on his naked chest. Zayn tried to imagine it was someone else, it might have been Liam.

"You know, I feel like your friends don't like me" She said. "Nah, they just don't like it when someone else is here, they are really jealous friends" Zayn joked. Perrie giggled. "I noticed, especially Liam" She said. "We are really close, we usually share a bed so he is pissed a bit" "Oh" She said. "Shouldn't have I come?" "No, No, you are fine" Zayn said. "It just had been a rough couple weeks"

 

"Ni, do you know where Liam is?" Harry asked as they met that afternoon at the hotel's golf course. "No, but I saw him talking to Paul before he got into a car" the blond boy shrugged. "What is he hiding?" "I think he just tries to get away from Zayn" Niall said and Harry nodded.

After dinner Harry was laying in bed and watched a movie until it was late enough for him to sleep. He heard his phone ring and grabbed for it, it was Louis. A smile spread over his lips as he turned the TV off and picked up.

"Hey Curly" "Hey Lou" "What's up?" Louis chuckled on the other side of the line. "El, stop that" He said quieter, he had probably held the phone away to talk to Eleanor.

"So, but now Haz" Louis said as it had gone silent on the other line. "So, what's up?" He asked again. "Not much, I'm bored" Louis hummed in response. "How is your vacation?" "Good, but I miss you...and the lads" Harry chuckled "How do you think our break will work when you already pout after one day" Harry chuckled "I don't know" Louis chuckled too.

"How are things with Liam and Zayn?" "I was talking to Liam this morning, he misses Zayn and I haven't seen Zayn today either" "I feel bad for them" "Me too" "Hey, ehm Haz?" "Yeah?" "How do you feel about Eleanor?"

Harry's eyes got wide. "What do you mean?" "Well, Liam and Zayn are kinda like us, closer than to anyone else in the band, and when I see Liam, i don't know-" "Lou, we are nothing like Liam and Zayn, we didn't sleep with each other" "Yeah, right" "Don't worry, I'm fine" "You weren't though" "Lou, I am now" "Do you promise?" "What?" "That you are fine?" "Of course, other that I miss you" Harry said honest "I wish we could have said goodbye proberbly" Louis said. "You'll be back soon" "Yes, I gotta go, dinner is here" "Alright, tell the lads I said Hi" "Ok, see ya" "Bye"

Harry went on twitter and regretted it right after, everywhere were pictures of Louis and Eleanor. The tears sting in his eyes again, it hurt so much. And Louis looked happy.

The younger boy tried to be happy for his best friend but he couldn't and if he was honest he didn't even want to try.

The last time he had cut himself was one month ago, and right now it was the only thing he could think about to stop the pain and to at least smile for his best friend.

Some of the cuts were less visible than others but they were still there, reminding Harry of the pain he had felt and how he always had the strength to put a smile on for Louis and everyone else afterwards.

His legs carried him into the bathroom and his hand reached out for the familiar sponge bag where he found a nail sharpener. He slid down the wall as the familiar feeling went through his body.

He was crying as he held the sharp end at his veine on his arm and pressed it into his skin until the blood started to leak out.

It hurt. It hurt alot, but he needed it, he needed to feel the pain to not think about Louis and his girlfriend.

He had sliced his skin open, it was a three centimeter blood line on his arm when he heard his name in a shocked scream. The scream was dumbed for himself since he heard his own pulse in his ears, making every other sound dull and quiet and he couldn't tell who it was since his eyes were drowned in tears.

But as soon as he felt the arms wrapped around himself and the way his head fitted into the crook of the neck he knew it was Zayn.

The black haired boy grabbed for the nail sharpener and threw it in a corner, before he grabbed for a towel and pressed it on Harry's arm while he tried to calm the boy down, which didn't work, since the curly haired boy only heard his pulse hard and loud in his ears.

Zayn held Harry close to him while the young boy blurred 'I love him's' and 'I want him to love me' into his neck. Zayn let a tear drop aswell. "Harry, can you calm down for me?" "No" Harry sobbed while he held closer to Zayn. "Harry, listen, Louis and Eleanor aren't real dating" Zayn said then.

Harry needed to know the truth, this had gone too far, Zayn should have told him that moment they found out he hurt himself. He felt responsible for what was happening now, he shouldn't have given Louis the choice whether to tell Harry or not.

"Of course they are" Harry cried. "No, listen, Management gave Louis Eleanor that day he had gone to see his Mom. Management was tired of the rumours about you and him so they tried to shut them down" "What?" Harry looked up, he was shocked.

"The boys and me tried to get Louis to tell you, but he never did" Harry wiped his tears away. "So this morning, when he was in my room and told me the exact same thing, it wasn't a dream?"  
Zayn was confused, he didn't know if Louis was in Harry's room in the morning or not, so he shrugged. "Yes"

Harry was starring forward "Can you leave me alone?" In Harry's voice built anger and frustration. So he had cut himself for a lie, he had been feeling like shit for months for a lie and he was jealous of a lie.  
"He lied" Harry whispered. "I'm going to kill him" The boy threatend and got up and ran out of the room. Zayn ran after him and catched the boy at the hotel room door.

"Harry" Zayn grabbed for his hand to pull him away from the door. "You can't kill him now, he has to keep up with this lie for everyone" "Why?"

Zayn pulled the boy towards him and lead him to the bed. "Because he needs to appear straight" "That doesn't make sense" "Tell that management" "I hate him, why did you know?" "Actually everyone does, from us, and his Mom does too" "I feel so dumb" "No, you are not" "He is so going down" Harry threatend again "I guess it takes more than a blowjob Haz" Zayn chuckled. "I hate you too" Harry groaned. "It's alright, now sleep" Zayn said calm.

Harry ignored all the calls and messages from Louis the next few days, Zayn chuckled to himself with the others when Harry shut his phone off because Louis didn't stop calling.

The older boy didn't know yet that Zayn had told Harry about Eleanor being not more than a friend.

The night before Louis would come back, Perrie flew back home.

"Finally" Liam whispered to Niall and Harry who chuckled while Zayn left the room to bring the girl to the car infront of the hotel.

"What are you planning for tomorrow?" Niall asked Harry. "I don't know, maybe ignoring would be a start before I shove knifes into his body so he knows how I feel" "Harry, you should ask him why he didn't tell you first, before you kill him" Zayn suggested "Maybe I can contain myself for a few seconds before I jumb at his throat" Harry said and didn't twich his lips. He was serious and hurt.

"Yeah, and since they'll figure it out, you two should too" Niall said to Liam and Zayn as the black haired boy stood near the bed.

 

Harry was laying awake the whole night, a million thoughts going through his mind. The sun started to come out again when he heard a key in the lock infront of his door. He bit his lip and stared at the door as he held his breath. The door opened and Louis was standing there, with his bag over one of his shoulders. He had catched Harry's eyes immediately.

"Hey C-" Louis started. "Don't" Harry said, he felt the anger rising in his chest, he just wanted to yell at him, how much he hates him, how much he had hurt him with this lie and how much of an arse he was.  
Louis closed the door behind himself, he saw the fire in his friends eyes. He was scared.

Harry watched Louis' every move until he was standing infront of the bed, not knowing if it was save to sit next to his friend or not. "You have been ignoring my phonecalls and messages, does that have a reason?"  
"I don't know, why don't you tell me?" Harrry gifted. Louis raised confused an eyebrow. "What?" "Why the fuck have you never told me that you and Eleanor aren't real dating!?" Harry yelled and Louis' eyes widened. 

"Why did you keep this from me?" Harry asked while he got up from the bed. "Have you an idea what I went through?" Harry stepped closer to Louis who stepped back. "What are you talking about?" Louis asked.

"Shut up and answer the question" Harry cornered Louis. "Are you dating Eleanor, yes or no?" Louis swallowed as he avoided Harry's eyes. "No" He whispered. "What was that? I didn't hear you" Harry said threatened. "N-" Louis tried but Harry interrupted him again. "Look at me when you answer me" Harry's voice started to get weak and when Louis looked up he saw the tears building in his friend's eyes. "No" Louis said. Harry blinked and the tears started to drop out of his eyes.

Harry grabbed Louis' shirt in his hands to press him against the wall, Louis could swear he couldn't feel the ground beneath his feed anymore.

Harry had a million thoughts he wanted to throw at the boy's head, he wanted to strangle him and beat his stupid pretty face until it was bruised with blue, green, yellow and purple bits. But still, he knew it wouldn't hurt half as much as he was hurt himself.

"I hate you" Harry said calm and confident, as he sat Louis down on the floor again. The boy grabbed for the picture that was hung up on the wall by the hotel and shaddered it on the ground before he shut the door close behind himself which caused the room to shake.

Louis stared after Harry as he slid down the wall. That wasn't how he had planned today.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

Louis still stared at the door, he hoped Harry would come back, but he felt the time pass by but Harry didn't come back. He had planned to tell Harry today, everything. From the fake relationship to his feelings but he figured it was too late now.

The door opened and Zayn looked into the room, trying to shield his body with the door just in case Louis was angry at him, but Louis was just angry at himself. "Can I come in?" "You do it anyways" Louis sighed and let his head fall against the wall he was leaning at. "What did Harry exactly say?" Zayn asked "Just wanted to know if it's true that Eleanor and me are not really dating" "Anything else?" "That he hates me" Zayn nodded. "Where is he now?" Louis asked "With Niall and Liam" "Did he say anything to you?" "Just that I should tell you that he hates you"

Louis nodded "I hate myself too, at least we have something in common then" "Louis" Zayn said and stepped over the broken picture to sit down next to Louis. "How did he even know?" "Something happened, and I needed to tell him" "What happened?" Louis got worried, he wasn't even mad at Zayn.

"He should tell you that" Louis sighed. "He doesn't want to see me" "I know, but don't stop trying to talk to him, let him know that you care" Zayn said and patted Louis' back.

Before Louis left with Eleanor for the trip to Hawaii things seemed to get better again but now it all started to crash back down. Liam was gone half of the time whenever they had a break, Harry was ignoring Louis all day long, even on stage, Niall was spending a lot time with their instrumental band and Zayn was keeping Harry company.

It wasn't before the next week, when the countdown in their bus showed 28 days left of tour when Harry couldn't keep it up anymore with ignoring Louis. Also between Liam and Zayn the water started to boil, in a good way though, they both missed each other and the distraction that Liam had with his solo work started to make him feel more guilty everytime they had an interview or working on their album together. And everytime when Zayn's and his legs brushed under a table or their hands brushed by doing their encouraging circle before a show, he regretted it more and more.

They had a show that night and Liam was called in to work on his own project. Paul was walking with him to the car. "Liam, can I join you on your way to the studio today? I need to talk to you" Liam nodded, because talking sounded good, he needed to get a couple things off his chest.

Paul got into the car after Liam and sat down infront of him to face him.

"What is going on right now?" He asked straight out. "With all of you" He added. "Nothing" Liam said and looked into is lap where he was feedling with his fingers. "Liam, you tell me now what has been going on with you the past months"

Liam kept quiet.

"What was the sudden change for you to suddenly agree with Management?" It was a lot of pressure for Liam, he felt tears building in his eyes.

"Niall made himself throw up because he saw the hate on the internet, Harry started to cut himself because he was jealous of Eleanor and now he knows that Louis lied to him and that is reason why he is ignoring Louis now. Apparently Zayn had been having girlfriend without me- us-knowing-" "Wait, stop. Niall and Harry did what?" Paul asked shocked and Liam looked down. "But they are doing better now, really, we took care of them" "Why do I hear that now!?" Liam shrugged. "But I still don't get why you decided to do the solo act" Paul said while the car stopped. "Zayn has a girlfriend, like I said and he never said anything" Liam said and looked down.

"Yeah but why-" Paul said before he stopped himself and looked at Liam. Liam's face said more than words could. Liam just nodded before he left the car.

 

"Harry?" Louis entered the bus, he was looking for the curly haired boy everywhere. "Yeah?" he heard a and weak voice came from the direction of their bunks. Louis walked towards the bunks and opened Harry's curtain but no one was in there. "Harry?" Louis asked again, maybe he had just imagined it. "Down here" The voice said and Louis opened the curtain to his own bunk.

He saw the curly haired boy holding the blue blanket in his arms, facing the wall. The older boy didn't need to ask to know that he was welcomed in, since it was his own bed. Louis climbed in and cuddled to Harry's back with his front. He laid his arms around him from behind and Harry leaned his head back so it was resting against Louis'.

"I don't hate you" Harry said after a while. "No, please, hate me, I deserve it" "You do, but-" "No but's I should have told you" "I should have told you too" "What?" "The real reason why I cut" Harry said. "I did it again that day when we talked on the phone" The boy added and Louis started to press Harry closer to himself. "Tell me why" Louis said. "Because of you"

Harry was waiting for another hot breath on the back of his neck, but it never came, he turned around and saw his friend staring right through him at the wall. "Lou?" Harry said and petted Louis' cheek. The older boy let his mouth drop open but nothing came out. "Lou, breath, please" Harry said worried.

A couple seconds passed until Louis eyes focused on Harry's green ones again "Don't-" Louis closed his eyes and opened them again once a thunder crashed above their heads. "Eleanor?" Was all that Louis got out, he didn't have the breath and strength in his voice to form a full sentence.

But it wasn't necessary, Harry knew what he meant. The younger boy nodded while their eyes were locked.

Without saying anything else, Louis scooted back while the tears were already leaking out of his eyes. "No, Lou, wait" Harry tried to reach for the older boy but he was already running towards the door of the bus.  
Harry swallowed as a scream followed a loud thunder. He heard the rain dropping hard on the roof above him. He climbed out of the bunk aswell, he had seen everything lighten up around him, due to a lighting and in that moment he saw a curled up ball twenty feet away from him on the ground. "Lou!" Harry ran to his friend. "Come back into the bus, please" Harry said as another loud thunder crashed above their heads.  
"Leave me here, please" "No, I'm not letting you get the death out here" "I'm so sorry Haz, damn it. I'm such an arse, hate me, beat me up" "No" Harry pulled the crying boy into his lap. "I wanted to, but couldn't hurt you like that" "I'm so sorry Harry, if I would have been honest with you like I wanted to at skype back at my Mom's birthday- shit"

"What are you rambling about Lou?" "God, the only reason why I never told you was because I thought I was getting rid of that feeling" "What feeling? Lou, let's get back to the bus, it's pouring" Harry said and wanted to get up but Louis pulled him back on his colloar and pressed his lips to Harry's while a lighting lit up the sky above them.

Harry kissed back, suddenly not caring that his hair were dripping wet and his clothes were sucked through. Louis caressed Harry's lips with his tongue to deepen the kiss, he wanted to feel as much from the boy as possible.

"I still need an answer to why you didn't tell me" Harry said as he had finally managed to pull back. Louis laid his hand on Harry's cheek and looked up to him. "Because I was scared how I felt about you" "And how do you feel?" Harry asked. "That I want to kiss you every time when I feel like it, especially right now, and I want to hold your hand every single second of my life and I want to sleep next to you in bed till the day I'm not going to wake up" "You are such a sap" Harry chuckled while he locked eyes with Louis.

"But I guess you might get in trouble with the boys if you'd kiss me all the time and I don't think that management would be happy about us holding hands everywhere and I don't want to think about you not waking up anymore" "But what do you think, would you mind?" Louis asked. "Only if you wouldn't wake up anymore" Harry smiled as he leaned down to connect their lips in another kiss. "But I wouldn't mind about the other things" He whispered against Louis lips before Louis smiled against Harry's and closed the distance once more.

"So, but now let's get back into the bus" Harry pulled away and got up. He pulled Louis up aswell and the two boys laced their fingers together and walked back into the bus.

They undressed themselves out of their wet clothes and grabbed some dry ones from the floor before they settled down on the couch.

Harry rested his head on Louis' lap and looked up while he tangled both their hands together. Louis smiled down at him. "I'm so sorry, I-" "Shsh" Harry said. "Tomorrow, not today, alright?" Harry pleaded and Louis bit his lips. For what he had put the boy through it would take so much more than just to say sorry, but Louis nodded anyways because those green were looking right into his blue ones, Harry's hair were still wet and a rain drop was still lingering on the boy's lips. "Can I kiss you?" Louis asked and Harry smiled "Only if you promise to never ask me that again" "So is that a yes?" Louis teased and Harry pulled the boy down to mumble a yes against his lips before they were connected again.

 

Niall was hanging out with their instrumental band quite a few times lately. He was standing with Josh, their drummer player, at the window. Niall groaned as he handed Josh fifty bucks, they might have betted on if either Louis and Harry or Liam and Zayn will get together first. They had watched the two boys making out in the rain and saw them walking back into the bus holding hands so it was obvious for them that they finally made it.

"I told you Harry and Louis would be first" Josh teased the blond boy. "But Liam and Zayn slept together. I still can't believe that they didn't notice you in the bathroom, that is gross. I hope I never have to witness that" "Yeah, I pray for you. Was stuck in there with them for half an hour" Niall chuckled "But I feel like, that now, Louis and Harry made up, Zayn will call it off with Perrie" "I hope so, it hurts to see their looks at each other and when they think we can't see their touches under the table" Niall chuckled and walked away with Josh. "But what about you?" "What do you mean?" "Not interested in anyone in the band?" He teased and Niall blushed "Gross, shut up. They are like my brothers" "That's what they always said about each other too" "Anyways, change of subject please"

 

Paul drove back with Liam "You still want to do this?" "What?" "The solo act?" Liam shrugged. "Listen, if you just do this because you are jealous of Zayn's girlfriend then this is stupid. The band is not just Zayn, Liam"

Liam bit his lip. "I know, but still, it just hurt and-" "So, do you really have feelings for Zayn?" Paul asked and Liam didn't move, he just looked up and as soon as the car stopped on the venue of the concert, Liam ran out of the car.

It had stopped raining by now and Liam ran into the bathroom, he needed to be alone now.

 

All the boys met for the Soundchek on stage a couple hours later. Harry and Louis didn't even try to act 'normal' their hands were laced firm and confident between their bodies as they walked on stage. "Hey guys" The two boys beamed of excitment. "Hey" Liam gave them a half smile, not notcing their hands and Zayn greeted them with a nodd but Niall was standing next to Josh and grinned at them before his eyes landed on Liam and Zayn. "You two owe me fifty bucks" He said and Liam and Zayn shared a look before looking to Niall. "Why?" "Yeah Niall, why?" Josh teased the boy. Niall took a moment until he realized it wouldn't be the smartest to admit he was betting on his friends getting together.

"Because Harry and Louis are together" Niall said, hoping this will get the attention off of him. "What?" Zayn asked confused and looked back and forth from the two boys and Niall. "I don't get it either" Liam agreed with Zayn.

Harry and Louis blushed and Louis pulled Harry into his side, which must have looked funny since Harry was one head taller than Louis himself. "We are- together" Louis said excited which caused him getting a kiss on his cheek from Harry. The smaller boy blushed.

For a moment Liam and Zayn just starred at them. "For real?" Zayn asked and Louis and Harry nodded. "Guys! After the Soundcheck we have to have a serious conversation" Paul said from behind while his face was ducked into a piece of paper so he didn't notice what was going on infront of him. The two boys untangled their hands and grabbed each an microphone to start the Soundcheck.

 

Paul was waiting in a dressing room. The boys sat on the couch while Paul stood infront of them. "What's up Paul?" Louis asked and laid his arm around Harry. "I wanted to ask you two that, but it seems like you already made up?" The two boys nodded, not feeling comfortable enough to tell Paul about them yet. "For good?" Paul asked to make sure and the two boys nodded while Niall started to laugh.

"Niall, and you- why has no one told me about Niall making himself throw up" Paul looked serious to the boys while he cupped his jaw with his hand. The blond boy stopped laughing, his mouth turned upside down as he looked to the ground. "Paul, he is doing fine now" Zayn rested his hand comforting on Niall's shoulder. "That doesn't matter, you should have told me that!" Paul said angry. "And about Harry selfharming, why did you keep this to yourselves?" Louis felt Harry tense under his arm and started to massage his back.

"Do you guys think I don't care enough about you?" Paul looked hurt now and no one said anything.

"Of course we don't, just, it just ended like that, we handled it all pretty well and things are getting better now" Liam said. "Oh do they?" Paul looked to Liam who looked down. "Yes, I mean, we all had a little bit of a hard time, but we got over it" Harry said. "You think?" "Yes, well, for now" Louis locked eyes with Paul.

"You know, as long as I know that you boys are fine, then I'm good, but next time let me know when there is something going on within you five" They all nodded so they could leave, they had a couple hours off before the show so they'd like to chill a bit.

"Alright, you are dismissed"

The boys decided to play some football on the parking lot and Louis and Harry ended up playing with laced hands, the boys had no idea how that worked, but it did. Zayn kept pulling his phone out to answer the messages from Perrie. Liam watched him everytime the black haired boy stopped running and grabbed for his phone. He made eye contact with the other lads and then focused his eyes on the ground.

After the concert the boys fell tired into their bunks, Harry fell into Louis' though. "You two, keep it down, I want to sleep" Niall joked. "Now we will be extra loud" Louis teased and Harry chuckled as the curtain fell shut behind them.

Niall got rid of the unecessary clothing and climbed into his own aswell, saying a quick good night to Liam and Zayn who were standing in the hallway.

Zayn made himself ready for bed aswell, when he was about to close the curtain behind him he catched Liam's eyes. "You are not going to bed?" "Nah, not yet, goodnight" "Goodnight" Zayn smiled as he let the curtain fall shut, leaving him in darkness.

Zayn tossed in his bed what felt like hours but everytime he looked at his phone to check the time, it only had been a couple seconds. He tried to listen if Liam would come back in but he never did. The black haired boy pushed the blanket off of him and climbed off the bunk. He walked out of the bus, without putting pants or a shirt on.

He looked around and saw Liam laying in the grass near the bus, he walked over and sat down next to him. "I thought you wanted to sleep?" "Not tired" It was a awkward silence between them. "I'm really sorry for not telling you about Perrie" Zayn started, he needed to get this off his chest, he missed his best friend and wanted nothing more than to cuddle into Liam's side now. "It's alright" Liam said. "No it's not, I'm an arse for keeping this from you" "You are" Liam looked up, but he had a smile on his lips, Zayn smiled back and decided he could lay down next to the boy now.

"Are we good?" Zayn asked worried. "I guess so, it sucked to not talk to you or be around you" "Same, I missed you Li" "Missed you too, Quiffy" "Aren't you cold?" Liam asked as he noticed Zayn's bare chest. "Maybe a bit"

Liam scooter closer to Zayn, not knowing how far he could take it, but the other boy pulled Liam up so he was laying on his chest. It took a moment for Liam to lay his head down and fully relax into the touch. Zayn nuzzled his face into Liam's hair to breath the sent in, Liam noticed but didn't questioned it, since he was feeling the same. Carefully Liam started to draw patterns on Zayn's chest while he listened to the heartbeat underneath his ear.

Zayn laid his hand, which was around Liam, into the other boy's hand, at the touch an excited feeling went through both of the boys bodies, they laced their fingers together and both smiled stupidly into the darkness infront of them. Zayn softly pressed a kiss to Liam's forehead, the younger boy stopped moving his finger at the touch, he laid there for a second before he pulled himself up so he was hovering over Zayn.

Zayn moved his hand to cup Liam's jaw while Liam brought their foreheads together. None of them was breaking the eye contact while Zayn moved his hands around Liam's neck, he laced his own fingers behind the boy's head while he pulled him in closer. They breathed silently into each other's mouths as their lips met in for a sweet but yet hesitanted kiss like it was their first one.

"You have a girlfriend" Liam said as he pulled back just enough so he could look into Zayn's eyes. "I know" "Then don't do it again" "What?" Zayn asked teasing and Liam took a moment. "To kiss me" "Why?" "Because it's not right" "It does feel right, for me" "But it shouldn't" "Doesn't it feel right for you?" Zayn asked curious and wrinkled his eyebrows. "No, it does, but it shouldn't" Liam pulled back and got up. Zayn grabbed for his hands to keep him from going far. "What?" Liam asked and looked to the boy on the ground. "Sit back down" Zayn said and Liam shook his head. "Not as long as you have a girlfriend" He said and dropped Zayn's hand, the boy on the ground watched Liam disappear in the bus.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

27 days left

 

"Zayn, where have you been?" Louis asked at lunch as the black haired boy came into the room and sat down next to Liam and Louis. "I broke up with Perrie" He said more to Liam than to anyone else. "That's great news" Louis said while he bumbed his and Harry's knees under the table. "How come?" Niall teased which gained him a kick from Zayn under the table. Zayn locked eyes with Liam for a second before the younger looked back into his plate to pick in his food with the fork.

They all fell into a moment of silence as the door opened and Josh got in. "Hey Niall, how about a round of table tennis after lunch?" The boy asked. "Sure, I'll be done in about fifteen minutes" "Alright, we'll meet there alright?" "Of course" Niall said. 

"Ey Josh, haven't seen you in a while" Zayn said and locked eyes with the guy. "Yes" Josh said and smiled as Niall started laughing. "Why's that?" "Because of reasons buddy" He said and closed the door behind him.  
"What's his problem?" Zayn asked offended and looked to Niall who stambed his feed on the floor laughing. "Niall do you know?" Zayn asked again. The blond boy nodded as he calmed down. "Let's say you gave him the shock of his life" "Why?" Zayn asked nervous and Niall started laughing again. "Well actually you and Liam did"

The two looked at each other for a moment before they looked back to Niall.

"He was in the bathroom one time when you-" Niall stopped on purpose and made a head gesture to get across what he meant.

Louis and Harry started laughing, their lunch was forgotten. Liam and Zayn blushed. "Oh god" Zayn looked down in shock and stared at his half eaten califlower on the plate while Liam started to burst out in laughter aswell.

"The poor boy" Louis said while he a wiped a tear away due to laughing. "Yeah, it's still haunting him" Niall chuckled.

"Anyways, you spent time with Josh now?" Zayn said to get the attention off of him. "Yes, for a couple weeks now" "So?" "So what?" Niall looked to Louis. "Do you like him?" Niall rolled his eyes, he wasn't up for that now. "Just think what you want. I don't care. I'm off playing some table tennis" Zayn whistled "Our Baby has a crush" "No I don't" "They grow up so fast" Louis leaned against his boyfriend who laid his arm around him.

Niall left the room and Harry and Louis decided to do some shopping before Soundcheck. Liam left too to work on his solo tracks. Zayn was left alone as he finished his lunch.

 

It was half an hour till soundcheck and Zayn sat outside with his notebook, he knew he was drawing Liam and that everyone around him saw it but he didn't care. Liam was pretty and he should be painted on every single paper there is in this world.

"What are you doing?" Zayn quick closed his notebook at the voice. Of course Liam had to creep up behind him.

"Nothing, just drawing" Zayn said as Liam sat down next to him. "Let me see" Liam said excited. "No" Zayn said and Liam grabbed for the notebook. The older boy was too slow to react as he watched Liam switching paper after paper. He stopped at the last painting and smiled. "It's not done yet, is it?" He asked and Zayn shook his head and blushed. Liam closed the notebook and laid it down next to him and tried to lock eyes with Zayn, but the other boy was looking forward, watching the crew memembers passing by.

Liam's eyes lingered on Zayn's cheek before he leaned in and pressed a soft peck to it. Zayn looked to Liam. "For what was that?" Liam shrugged "I like your painting" Zayn smiled "Thanks

A moment of silence fell between them. "So you broke up with Perrie?" Liam asked and Zayn nodded. "Sorry" Liam said "Why are you sorry?" Zayn asked and Liam shrugged. "I broke up with her because I didn't like her" Zayn said then "Then why were you with her in the first place?" Liam asked and this time it was Zayn who shrugged.

"Guys! Let's go" Paul stood a couple feet away from them. The two boys looked to Paul and got up, quietly they followed Paul to the stage to meet the others.

 

After the concert the boys were stuck in the bus again, they were off to a new city. Louis was laying with his head on Harry's lap while the younger boy massaged his head. The other three boys stared at the couple. "What?" Louis pouted and took Harry's hand to lay it on his face to protect him from the looks.

"It's crazy how nothing has changed with you two" Liam pointed out. "Really, you two were so blind, it hurt" Niall added. "Leave us alone" Harry blushed. "But why haven't you kissed yet?" Zayn asked offended. "What? We kiss all the time" Louis chuckled. "Not infront of us though" Liam said. "Because it feels weird, kind of" Harry admited "Shut up, we have been waiting for that far too long" Niall said and wiggled his eyebrows. "You have seen us kiss" Louis pointed out and Zayn rolled his eyes. "Just do it, we know you want to" Liam teased.

"You are idiots" Louis chuckled as he locked eyes with Harry and the younger boy leaned down to connect their lips.

"Awww" The other boy's cooed and Louis showed them the finger while he kissed Harry back.

 

The next day after they had breakfast Harry and Louis were the first ones leaving, it wasn't surprising for the others, really. Niall disappeared aswell after he had looked on his phone.

The door fell shut. "Do you think there is something going on with our baby?" Zayn asked Liam who chuckled. "Could be" "I don't trust this guy" Zayn groaned. Liam started laughing. "Josh is our friend, he had been touring with us for three years now" Zayn shrugged "I don't like him anymore" "Zayn, it's alright, you know Niall is old enough to hang out with whoever he wants to" "He can, but I don't want him to get hurt" Liam patted Zayn's back. "I don't think that he will and if, then we are there for him" "And I will be kicking Josh's ass and make sure he never sees the sun again" "Come on, let's do something. Wanna play table tennis?" Liam asked to distract Zayn. "Sure" Zayn agreed and they both went outside to play.

The sun started to set when Zayn and Liam were playing cards in a quiet corner outside. "You can't lay that Li" Zayn chuckled. "But it's a heart, and heart of heart works" "Yes, but not if you have painted the shaped heart in the spade red" "I didn't do it" Liam laughed. Zayn laughed too "You were doing it right infront of me idiot" "I'm not an idiot" "You are one, and a bad loser" Zayn teased. "You call me a loser" "Yes" Zayn chuckled and Liam threw his deck he had on his hand into Zayn's face.

"You better stay with singing, you won't make a career as a card player" "I wasn't planning on it anyways" Liam smiled. "Good, because I would have to pay for your bail if they'd catch you cheating" Zayn said and Liam chuckled. "Probably" Liam smiled.

"Let's play another round" Liam suggest. "But no cheating" Zayn laughed and Liam nodded. "We'll see" Liam said and Zayn had to turn around to get some cards that had flown behind him, he was just about to grab for it when he felt a weight on himself. "Ugh Li" Zayn chuckled as his body carshed to the ground due to the weight. Liam laughed "Gottcha" "Are you drunk?" Zayn joked while Liam held his hips up so Zayn could turn around to look up at him. The younger boy gently sat back down on the boy's hips. They locked eyes.

"So, you really broke up with Perrie?" Liam asked nervous. "Yes" Zayn said without hesitation. "Why?" "Because of you" Zayn said and pressed his lips together in a line. "Why?" Liam asked and Zayn shrugged and brought his hand up softly to lay it on Liam's cheek, he caressed the cheek with his thumb and Liam leaned into the touch and closed his eyes.

"I want to kiss you" Zayn whispered and Liam opened his eyes, he didn't expect that. "Then do it, I won't stop you" Liam said. The older boy brought his hand back to the ground to hieve himself up with his hand so their faces were just inches apart. "Are you sure?" Zayn asked and Liam nodded "I am" He said before he closed the distance between them.

Liam cupped Zayn's cheeks with his hands to keep him close, Zayn responded by letting his tongue slide between Liam's lips.

They had to pull back because Liam's phone rang. Zayn groaned and Liam wasn't so pleased about it either. "Hello?" He said annoyed in the phone. "Oh...Alright...We'll be there any second" Liam hung up and laid his hands around Zayn's neck. "Who was it?" "Louis, we are late" Zayn sighed and Liam pecked Zayn's lips one more time. "Do you carry me?" Liam pouted and Zayn chuckled "But only today" "I'll pay you later" Liam got up and helped Zayn up aswell before he jumbed on the boy's back. "With what?" Zayn asked. "You'll see" Liam said and pecked Zayn's cheek.

The two boys came into the common room. "Guys, do you start with getting late again?" Paul asked while Liam slid down Zayn's back. "Sorry" Zayn said "Just don't make it a habbit again, alright?" Liam and Zayn nodded.

 

Liam was in his bunk and turned around in his sheets. He had been trying to fall asleep for the past hour.

His thoughts were stuck on Zayn, he just couldn't get him out of his head.  
Liam climbed off his bunk and slowly pulled the curtain from Zayn's open. "Li?" Zayn asked quiet into the darkness "Yeah, it's me" "Come in" Zayn said and scooted closer to the wall with his back to give Liam enough room. The other boy climbed in and laid down on his side to face Zayn.

They locked eyes for a moment before Liam leaned in, Zayn leaned in too and their lips met in the middle in a sweet kiss. Liam pulled himself up on his ellbow without pulling back from Zayn and let his other hand rest next to other boy's head so he was hovering over him. He leaned in more to deepen the kiss.

Liam pulled back and let himself down next to Zayn again, he rested his head on the bare chest while he felt Zayn's arm go around him. "Are you more comfortable now?" Zayn asked as he kissed Liam's forehead. "Yes" "Me too" "Good night" "Good night" Zayn took Liam's hand which laid on his chest and tangled their fingers together before they fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg it's already at 3000 hits  
> thank you so much!  
> i will upload today another one! :)


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

Zayn and Liam got woken up by chuckling the next morning. The two boys groaned as they opened their eyes and the sun blinded them. "Go" Liam groaned and burried his face in Zayn's neck. "Li's right, go and do what you do" Zayn said "Guys, you gotta wake up or Paul is coming in" Niall said. "What time is it?" Liam asked "Lunch time" Louis said. "Already?" Liam opened his eyes to look at the three boys in the hallway who had pulled the curtain back. "Yes, you slept through breakfast and a blowjob I gave Lou" Harry said. "Gross, too much information Harry" Zayn threw a pillow at the curly haired boy and nuzzled his head into Liam's neck. "You two are so cute" Louis sang. "Shut up" Zayn groaned.

Eventually the two boys had gotten up and none of them mentioned their interwined fingers, knowing that they'll tell them when the two know themselves what they are now.

"There you are, you gotta go to the studio boys" Paul greeted the boys as they entered the common room. The two pairs let go of each other's hands. It's not that they didn't trust Paul but they just wanted to keep it for themselves for a while until they were sure that everything will work, but they knew that it will anyways.

Paul lead the boys out of the room and as he held the door open to the studio, he stopped Liam who entered last "You gotta go, they want to see you" Paul whispered to Liam. The boy nodded and locked eyes with Zayn before he followed Paul to a car.

 

Liam missed Soundcheck and dinner, the boys were worried what the boy was up to and where he went. Paul only shook his head everytime they asked him. "Is he fine Paul?" Zayn asked for the hundreth time in the past half hour. "Yes" Paul rolled his eyes, he understood that the boys were worried, he wondered how long it'll take for them to find out and he didn't want to imagine the drama.

 

It wasn't until a couple days later, 20 days left till the end of tour, when it happened.

Liam and Zayn weren't 'offical' together yet, they were holding hands and kissing but they hadn't had the talk yet, they just wanted to be for a while and the other boys accepted it. They were happy that finally everything was alright again.

Niall wanted to get Liam from the bus, to tell him that lunch will be ready in a couple minutes when he heard the younger boy talking on the phone in his bunk to Simon.

"I know but-...I don't feel comfortable with performing on my own just yet...listen the contract said to work on a couple solo tracks and to see how it goes-"

Niall's mouth dropped open, solo tracks? "Fine...no, they don't it yet-" Niall stared at Liam's bunk as he saw the hand reaching out for the curtain to pull them open, the blond boy ran outside, he had to misunderstood that, that was it.

"Hey guys, I talked to Simon, hey says Hi" Liam said as he joined the others for lunch "What did he say?" Zayn asked and Liam shrugged. "Just that we should keep up the good work and he told me to tell you two" He pointed to Harry and Louis. "To keep it more down" Harry rolled his eyes. "Don't want to" Harry pouted and laid his head on Louis' shoulder.

The next day Niall was looking for Paul, he needed to know if he could fly home for the next two days since they had days off before the last weeks of the tour. When he heard Paul's voice he reached for the door knob, finally he had found him, but the boy stopped in his move right after a voice followed. "But-" "No but's Liam, Simon has booked this performance for you, it was your own decision to do the solo tracks and now you have to perform one of them" Paul said strict. Niall let the words sink in, there was no way he could get that wrong.

Niall walked back to the common room, a million thoughts were running through his mind, did Liam want to go solo? He entered the room and saw Zayn sitting next to Louis on the couch playing xbox. Harry was laying with his head in the older boy's lap and stared at the TV. "Zayn?" Niall asked nervous. He wasn't sure if the boy knew about Liam's plans maybe this all was really just an misunderstanding. "What's up Nialler?" Zayn asked and looked to the boy at the door after Louis had paused the game.

"Do you know anything about Liam doing solo tracks?" "What?" Zayn asked confused and Harry sat up. Niall nodded "He was talking to Paul about that" "Are you sure?" Louis asked. "Maybe you misunderstood him" Harry said. Zayn locked eyes with Niall again. "Did you really hear him say that?" Zayn asked and bit his lips. Niall nodded and Liam appeared behind them.

"Hey guys, wanna play some football?" He asked but no one answered him. " 's Everything alright?" Liam wrinkled his eyebrow. "Where do you keep going?" Louis asked then. "What do you mean?" The boy looked over to his older friend. "You keep leaving with Paul and then you are back right in time for our duties" Harry said. " I do nothing" Liam tried to shrug it off. "Let's play some footie alright?" Liam added and opened the door again. "Tell us the truth" Zayn said, he was angry, he knew no matter what Liam was hiding none of the boys is going to like it" "I-nothing" Liam blured out.

Zayn got up, and for a moment Liam thought the black haired boy would beat him but he rushed past him out of the door. "Zayn, where-" Liam called after him. A couple seconds later Zayn pulled Paul into the room. "If you are not gonna say it, Paul will" Zayn said serious. "Say what?" Paul asked confused "Where Liam keeps going" Louis answered.

Paul looked to Liam, the boy looked down. "Niall heard you two talking about solo tracks, explain that" Zayn said deep. Liam looked up and locked eyes with Niall before he looked down. "I only-" "I don't want to hear any story! Is it true, yes or no?" Zayn's eyes borred themselves into Liam's.

"Yes, but-" Liam started but before he could finish the second word the door fell shut and Zayn was gone. He looked to the others who had gotten up. "Guys, I can-" Niall, Louis and Harry ignored him and followed Zayn out of the room.

Liam let himself down on the couch, he didn't have the strength to stay on his feed at the moment. "It'll be ok" Paul said and sat down next to the boy. "No it won't, they hate me" "They don't" "Didn't you just see what just happened?" "They are hurt, but they could never hate you"

 

Louis, Harry and Niall were trying to find Zayn, they found him near a lake that was connected to the venue. Zayn was ripping his drawings into pieces and threw them into the water. The boys figured the drawings were of Liam.

"Zayn come here" Louis said as he sat down with the two other boys beside him. He felt his shirt getting wet from the two youngest, they were scared and he was too, but he had to stay strong. "Zayn come here" Louis called the boy over again. "Is this the end of us?" Harry asked sobbing. "No! Don't fucking say that! We don't need him!" Zayn yelled and threw the whole notebook into the water before he stambed over to the others. "It is, we are not One Direction without him" Niall said and scooted closer to Louis. "Ni, don't say that. We are better off without him" Zayn sat down next to Niall to pull the boy into his arms.

"You need him the most" Harry said then and locked eyes with Zayn. "We all do" Louis admitted. "No, he betrayed us, he lied and if he thinks he is better without us then we are too" "I don't want to give this up" Harry said and hid his face in Louis' neck. "We still got each other though" Louis tried to calm his boyfriend down.

The concert that night was a mess.

If they didn't have anything to do as a band, Liam was hiding if he wasn't in the studio, he honestly didn't even work there, he was just feeling sorry for himself.

 

14 days till the end of tour.

 

The boys enjoyed their last couple days off before they had the last concerts. Two more weeks to go. Liam had been gone ever since last night and none of the boys cared.

Actually they were worried but as Paul had told them he was staying in a seperate hotel this morning, they all felt a huge rock falling off their chest, but they didn't show it. They acted like they didn't care what Paul had said but Paul knew better, he had been knowing these boys for years now.

Niall and Zayn were hanging out with Josh and Louis and Harry were watching a movie as the door opened.

"I hope we are not interrupting"

The two boys looked to the door and a huge smile spread over their lips before they jumbed up and embraced their Mom's in a hug.

"Mom! Why didn't you say anything, I was worried because you didn't answer my text yesterday" Louis said as he had pulled back to hug Harry's Mom. "Sorry Sweety, wanted it to be a surprise" Jay smiled.  
"I literally had to watch grease twice with him until he fell asleep, he was so worked up about it" Harry chuckled. "Oh yeah, and that one time when-" "Shush" Harry interupted the older one by bumbing their shoulders. Louis laughed and laid his arm around Harry.

"So, any plans for today?" Anne asked. "Well, we actually wanted to watch movies today" Louis said and pointed to the TV "Ok, how about we order something to eat, because I'm starving, we could talk to catch up and then watch movies?" Jay suggested. "Sounds great" Harry beamed.

Anne was in the bathroom to change into more comfortable clothes while Jay was calling home to check on the girls.

Harry and Louis were laying in bed, the older one had his arm around the other while Harry had his head resting on Louis' shoulder. "Should we tell them?" Louis asked "I bet you they already know, that's why they are here" Harry said and Louis pecked Harry's forehead. "I guess we'll just see" The younger boy said then and Louis agreed.

They pulled back from one another as the door opened and the room service came in. They served the food on the bed. The two boys thanked the two women before they left.  
Their Mom's sat down on the bed infront of them and they started to eat. "So, explain this thing why you had to tune your friendship down?" Jay asked curious and looked to the two boys.  
"Well you know what people say-" Louis got interupted. "That you two are apparently dating?" Anne asked "Yep" Harry said and Louis continued. "Management doesn't like it, so they gave me Eleanor, so I look straight, I guess" Louis shrugged. "So you and Eleanor aren't real dating?" Anne asked and Louis nodded.

They were silent for a moment. "And how do you feel about that?" Jay asked. "Well, I have no other choice, and since now, the boys and you two know, it's alright"

"Anything else we should know?" Anne asked. The two boys shook their hands. "Only that Liam is a dick" The women turned around to see Zayn standing there. "Hey Zayn, how are you?" "Better than ever, thanks" He said with a fake smile and curled himself inbetween the boys. "Hey!" Harry complained but chuckled, Zayn was getting through a lot lately but only because they didn't want to lose another friend.

"You two get enough body warmth from each other" Zayn groaned at Harry's complain. The two women chuckled but looked confused. "Have you told your Mom's the great news yet?" Zayn said with fake excitement as he grabbed into Anne's plate to steal the strawberry. "Liam's going solo, isn't that great?" Zayn said cold as he stared at the strawberry. "We always knew he could do it, yay for him" Zayn tossed the berry at the wall. It left a stain there and the berry splashed its juice around.

"I should go and congratulate him again" Zayn gifted and got up to leave the room. "What?" The two women asked and looked to the boys infront of them.

"One Direction is over after this tour, Liam is leaving us" Harry said and looked down. "No one said that Curly. You all overreact because Liam did work on some solo tracks, that-" "Yes that is exactly what it means Lou!" Louis pulled the boy into his arms. "No it doesn't" "I don't want it to end" "It won't, I promise you" Louis pecked the boy's forehead.

The two boys forgot that their Moms were still in the room, that's why they pulled awkwardly away from each other once the two women appeared back for them.

"I don't think that Liam would ever leave you guys" Anne said and patted her sons knee.

"And what was that with Zayn?" Jay asked still in shock of the black haired boy's reaction. "He is just really hurt about that" Harry shrugged "We noticed" Jay nodded.

The door fell open "Guys! Zayn is losing his mind again" Niall yelled into the room before he disappeared again. The two other boys jumbed up immediately and followed Niall. They found Zayn as he stood on top of a springboard to jumb into the water, it was about three meters, so not high.

"Fuck, Zayn, get off of that. You can't even swim" Louis yelled up. "If Liam can go solo than I go do that" "Jeez, Zayn, move your butt down here" Harry called up "Go back in your room and fuck your boyfriend, leave me be" "Zayn!"Louis yelled up.

Zayn jumbed.

"He is such an idiot" Niall shook his head "Luckily this is a pool so he can't get lost" Louis shrugged and jumbed into the pool right after Zayn was in the water to get the boy back to the surface before he would drown.

Louis helped Zayn to get to the edge of the pool so the other boys could help him up. Anne and Jay were already there with towels. The two women went back inside to give the boys privacy.

"I hate him so much" Zayn said before he broke down crying. "I feel like I'm having a deja-vu" Niall joked. "Liam was saying the same about you" He added. Zayn didn't say anything, he just burried silently his face into Niall's neck while the others patted his back.

They helped Zayn to get back to his room. "I love him, why would he do that?" Zayn wiped a tear away. "No idea" Louis said and tucked him into bed. "I want to beat him" Zayn rambled. "I guess we all want to" Niall said. "I'll go and see him" Louis said and locked eyes with Harry. "Why?" The younger boy asked. "I want to talk to him" "I'll come with you" "Sorry love, but I'd like to go on my own" He pecked his boyfriends lips before he said goodbye and left.

Zayn fell asleep soon and Niall said he wanted to get some fresh air, he was probably seeing Josh again, Harry thought, but he didn't care.

 

"Hey Josh" Niall said and fell next to the boy on the bed. Josh knew everything, the blond boy couldn't keep it inside anymore and so he had told Josh everything that had been going on the past months.

"Still worried that Liam will leave you?" He asked and pulled the pouting boy into his arms. "He will, One Direction is over, especially if Zayn keeps losing his mind, they will send him in rehab" Josh chuckled "No, Zayn's just, he is just really hurt and as soon as Liam is back, he will be fine again"

Niall rested his head on the boy's chest. "Are you sure?" "Yes and Liam, he could never leave you guys, but now he might think that you want him to leave" "But we don't" "Let him know before it's too late" The blond boy nodded and pulled his phone out to text Louis.

"Thanks" Niall said while he shoved his phone back and locked eyes with Josh. "You are welcome" Josh smiled at Niall.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will finish the story today!  
> it's one more chapter and the epilogue :)

It took Louis about fifteen minutes until Paul had told him in which hotel Liam was staying in. The hotel was about twenty minutes away and the eldest went for the hundreth time through in his mind what he was going to say. He had read the message from Niall as he was halfway at the hotel.

"Hey, ehm, in what room is Liam Payne staying in?" Louis asked the man behind the desk. "Sorry, but Mr.Payne doesn’t want any visitors" Louis sighed. "Listen, this is important" He said but the guy shook his head. Louis wetted his lips and took a deep breath. "You tell me where Liam’s room is, now!"

The elevator announced that someone was coming down and as the doors opened and Louis spotted the boy who he was looking for, he sprinted over and got into the elevator before anyone could stop him.  
"Liam-" "Leave me alone" the younger boy crossed his arms infront of him as the elevator started to move up. "I just want to talk" Louis said and followed Liam out of the elevator once the doors opened. "But I don’t want to" " Li" Louis said as Liam stopped infront of a door to open it. "Please" Louis said. The younger boy sighed and let the door open behind him so Louis could follow him.

The eldest closed the door behind him and sat down next to Liam on the couch. “You know, I just wanted to let you know that we don’t want you to leave the band” He said. He actually had planned a full rant but as he saw the boy infront of him, staring on the ground and so far away from him that their legs didn’t even touch, it hurt him and he wasn’t in the mood to yell at the boy, he was one of his best friends.

"I would have never left you guys" Liam said as tears leaked out of his eyes. "You wouldn’t have?" Louis asker surprised. "No, Why would you even think that" Liam asked hurt and locked eyes with Louis. "We-We just thought that is what you wanted" "No" Liam shook his head and pressed his lips together.

The older one scooted closer to Liam and pulled him into his arms. “But then why did you?” “Because of Perrie, it just hurt to see him with her and I was so angry” “God, Liam” Louis pulled him closer. “I just saw it as a distraction, nothing serious” “But how did you even got the idea of that?” Louis asked as he rubbed gentle over Liam’s back  
.  
"Management. Simon had asked me weeks before I agreed to it, if I wanted to record a few solo tracks and to go solo. I said no immediately but they kept pushing me. So I gave in and said I will go for a day and just try some things, I hated every second of it because I was on my own but then Perrie came along" Liam finished and nuzzled his head into Louis’ neck "How much do the others hate me?" Liam asked quiet "They don’t hate you" "Are you sure?" "Yes. So to get this right, you don’t want to do this?" "Yes" "Then stop it" Louis said. "I can’t. I needed to sign a contrast and it goes until next month" "And what do you have to do?" "A couple more sessions in the studio and then a performance" "A performance?" Louis repeated and Liam nodded. "But I don’t want to, I can’t to that" "Yes you can"

Louis’ phone buzzed, a message from Harry, Zayn was freaking out again. “Liam, I gotta go. You can always come back” “Thanks, but not today” “Alright” Louis petted Liam’s back and ran out of the room.

 

When Louis arrived at the hotel Zayn was laying on the floor, being held down by Harry and Niall. A knife was laying just a feed away from them. “Is anyone hurt?” Louis asked as he kicked the knife further away. “No” Harry answered. “What did Liam say?” Niall asked. “Liam? You went to see that betrayer, you can just stay with him and burn alive” Zayn giftet.

Louis kneed to where Zayn’s head was. “I was talking to him and this whole thing is your fault” “My fault? Was I the one who is planning to go solo” “No, but you were the one who had a ‘girlfriend’ and Liam didn’t know. He was so hurt Zayn, he just wanted to get away from you” “So he never planned on leaving us?” Harry asked and in his eyes sparkled hope. “Yes. so I would say, that Zayn gets his ass over to the Season Hotel to fix this” They all looked to Zayn.

"Me?" He asked and the two boys got off of him. "Yes, you" Niall nodded. Zayn sighed "I don’t think he wants to see me" "Yes he does, and you do too" Harry said and leaned against Louis. "Fine" Zayn said. "Floor 3 room 205" Louis said before Zayn disappeared out of the room.

"So Liam is gonna stop with the solo thing and is coming back to us?" Niall asked. "Well, he never thought about going solo in the first place, it were just a couple studio sessions leading to a performance next month" Louis said. "That’s good, innit?" Niall asked and Louis shrugged "Don’t know" "Do you think things finally will be fine again?" Harry asked Louis. "I hope so" "Me too" Harry said and pecked Louis lips. Louis kissed back to make the kiss last longer.

"Oh, well, I’ll see where Josh is" Niall said nervous all of the sudden. The two boys pulled back to look at Niall confused, the blond boy pointed to something behind them, as the two boys turned around they saw their Mom's standing there.

Niall quick left the room and let the door fall shut behind him. “So, anything to tell us?” Anne asked. Harry and Louis blushed while they tangled their fingers together and Louis pressed himself into the tall and strong body next to him. “We are dating” Harry said while he rested his head ontop of Louis’. “Yeah” The older boy agreed with a big smile. “I guess, since just now, because you haven’t told us anything” Jay teased. “No, for two weeks actually” Louis said. Anne chuckled with Jay. The two boys blushed more.

"And what did management say?" Anne asked. "Nothing yet, we haven’t told anyone other than the boys and you two" Harry said. "What about Paul?" Jay asked. The couple shook their heads. "We try and wait until after the tour, what if they start to put us in different hotels or get other crazy ideas" Louis said.

 

Zayn got slower the closer he got to the hotelroom. The door was slightly open, he took a deep breath before he entered. He saw Liam grabbing for his wallet before he turned around, their eyes met. “I gotta go” Liam said quiet and pointed to the door. “No you don’t” Zayn said and closed the door behind him before he walked closer towards the other boy.

Liam’s and Zayn’s eyes were locked, the black haired boy stopped when he could feel Liam’s breath against his face. “Louis told us” He said and Liam pressed his lips together. “I’m sorry-” Liam started but he was interupted with a sweet peck. “You are such a jealous person” Zayn teased as he laid his arms arond Liam’s neck to pull him in a kiss again.

Liam laid his arms on Zayn’s hips and kissed him back.

The door opened and Paul got in “Liam you-” he stopped himself as he saw what was happening infront of him. “I’ll let Simon know you are sick” Paul mumbled more to himself and walked out of the room again giving the two boys privacy.

Zayn pulled lightly back. “Is there anything else I need to know about you? Killed a person? Didn’t flush the toilet after your business?” Liam chuckled “No, you now know everything” “Good” Zayn smiled “Why did you ask?” The other boy shrugged. “Because I love you” He said while their eyes were locked. “You what?” Liam asked shocked and Zayn nodded. “I do, and I’d like you do be by boyfriend if you want to” Zayn said nervous. Liam smiled “Yes, that sounds great” “Really?” Zayn looked surprised. “Yes” Liam chuckled and kissed Zayn again.

The sun started to set and Zayn had gotten a message from Louis that dinner was ready. “You coming back with me, right?” Liam shrugged “Is that alright for the others?” “Of course, let’s go” Zayn got up and pulled the other boy with him. He helped him to pack his stuff and then they checked him out.

The two boys walked hand in hand into Harry’s and Louis’ room. Niall was joined with them on the bed while Harry sat in the middle of them eating a sandwich. “Hey guys” Zayn beamed. As Niall and Harry spotted Liam they jumped up and pulled the boy into their bodies. “Don’t kill my boyfriend guys, I’d like to keep him for awhile” Zayn said while he sat down next to Louis since there was room now.

"Boyfriend" Harry wiggled his eyebrows and poked Liam into his side. "Yep" Liam blushed and looked to Zayn. Niall shook his head "You couldn’t have done that two weeks earlier could you?" Niall said and sat down infront of Zayn after Liam cuddled into Zayn’s side. "Why?" Zayn asked.

"Because I had a bet with Josh, who will get together first and I betted on you two" The blond one looked to Liam and Zayn. "And Josh betted on me and Lou?" Harry asked as he scooted inbetween Louis, legs so he was resting with his back against Louis’ front. "Yes" Niall agreed.

Louis laughed as he laid his chin on Harry’s shoulder. “It’s already been two weeks babe” “I know” Harry turned his head and pecked Louis’ lips.

Niall looked over to see Zayn and Liam doing the same and sighed. “Is that how the rest of the tour is going to be? You two licking each others mouths and me third wheeling?”  
The couples pulled back and chuckled. “Yep” Liam said. “You can always bring Josh” Louis said and wiggled his eyebrows. The irish lad blushed. “We are just friends” “Good” Zayn clenched his jaw, he was really protective over Niall. “Because we are not going to abond you so you don’t have a reason to see him” The black haired boy said and pulled Niall towards him. The blond boy scooted between Zayn and Louis and sighed. “I missed this” He said and the others nodded silently.

"Anyone has anything to say? Any secrets?" Louis asked. "Nope" Harry said. "No" Zayn shook his head. "I have to do a performance on my own next month" Liam said. "Louis told us that" Niall said. "You Nialler? Any secrets?" Harry asked. "Nah" "Niall" The 4 boys said at the same time. The blond one sighed "Alright, I like Josh, but dare you to tell him, I’m going to kill you" He threatend. The other boys started laughing. "And you Lou?" Harry asked "No. No secret. Everyone knows that I love you" He said into Harry’s ear "I love you too, you cheesy bastard" The younger boy chuckled.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

"Two more concerts to go. Woooo" Louis cheered as they walked off stage. He looked around to see if everyone was there, but a certain blond head was missing. "Where is the irish one?" Louis asked even though he knew where he was. "Come on guys! You have to drive twenty-two hours to get to your next stop" Paul pushed as he found the boys still standing backstage. "We need to wait for Niall" Harry said and Paul sighed.

"I'm here, I'm here" Niall came running from a different direction than they thought. The boys spotted his red lips but didn't mention it, they just exchanged knowing looks between each other as Paul lead them to the bus.

"I'll meet you guys tomorrow in Los Angles" Paul said before he left. "God I'm so tired, I'll go to sleep" Niall said. "No" Louis said and pulled the boy back. "You stay and tell us why your lips looks like they had just been around a dick" Louis said and gave the boy a push so he fell onto the couch. "That's ridiculous we just-" He stopped as he realized what he was about to say" "We what?" Liam teased. "Who is we?" Harry added. "I'm going to kill that other person" Zayn threatend. "Well, Josh and me are kinda together I guess" The blond one said shy.

"Oh really, tell us more" Louis said curious and Harry chuckled at his boyfriend. "We did nothing, we just kissed" "He is so going to die" Zayn rambled. "No, you are not going to kill anyone" Liam said and rested his head on Zayn's shoulder. "That's great, why haven't you said anything?" Harry asked Niall. "Don't know, just wanted to give us a couple days" He shrugged. "And that is fine" Liam assured and smiled.

"So, you are taking it up the ass now too?" Louis teased and Niall laughed. Zayn tensed even more and Liam tried to calm him down. "I'm gonna need to have a serious conversation with him" Zayn said before he walked towards his bunk. Liam chuckled and followed his boyfriend.

"Please make sure he doesn't scare him away" Niall said worried. Harry and Louis chuckled. "Don't worry, I won't let Zayn talk to Josh alone" Louis said "Good" "Bring Josh over for breakfast tomorrow alright?" Harry said and Niall nodded with a smile. "I will"

 

 

Next morning.  
2 days left of tour

Like promised Niall had brought Josh to the common room where the boys had breakfast the next day. "Hey" Josh said and the others greeted him too but Zayn. Liam chuckled at his boyfriends behaviour and laid his hand on Zayn's knee to calm him down. Niall and Josh were holding hands as they sat down next to Louis. Zayn was at the end of the table for a reason.

After breakfast Josh got up. "I have to go, helping to get the instruments up" "Alright" Niall nodded. They stared at each other for a moment. "You know you can kiss right" Liam said and Louis and Harry chuckled. The two boys blushed and Niall got up to peck Josh's lips. Louis and Harry awwed loud which caused Niall to show them the finger. "I'll see you later" Josh said and said goodbye to the others before he left.

After Soundcheck Zayn waited to talk to Josh and Louis agreed to come along just in case he needed to save the other boy. "You know that Josh isn't going to hurt Niall, look at them" Louis pointed to the two who giggled at each other. "Still, I just want to remind him" Zayn said. "That's fine" Louis said and watched Niall and Josh starting to make out. Zayn groaned and Louis chuckled.

The two boys pulled away and talked some more before Josh let his finger slide over Niall's cheek and Niall left. Zayn walked towards Josh and Louis followed. "Josh?" "Hey Zayn, what's up?" Josh said and nodded to Louis to acknowlege him. "Listen, you know I care about Niall" He started. "I know" Josh nodded while he walked around the drum set. "Good. Because I don't want him to get hurt" Zayn threated. "I know Zayn, I don't want that either. I really like him and care about him" "Just don't break his heart alright?" Zayn said and Josh nodded. "I won't" "Good" Zayn breathed out and placed a smile on his lips. Josh looked confused to Louis who shrugged. "I'll see you later then" Zayn said and fist bumbed Josh before he turned around and walked away.

Louis laughed. "Well that was better than expected" Josh laughed too "Yes, but I don't mind" Louis nodded "Yep, I hope he doesn't have scared you away?" "Nah. I always knew Zayn was really protective over Niall and I'm glad. It's good know that he has friends like you" Louis nodded. "Yes, I feel the same about Harry when I can't be around" Louis smiled "Lou, come cuddle" Louis heard Harry yell from further away. "Go" Josh chuckled. They said goodbye before Louis turned around ran into Harry's arms.

 

Last day of tour

It were a couple hours before the concert will start and all three couples were sitting in the common room spread over the couch. "It's crazy, it's the last day of tour" Liam said and rested his head on Zayn's shoulder. "I know, it's crazy" The black haired boy said. "But you still have a performance in two weeks" Harry pointed out and looked to Liam. "Oh god, don't remind me" Liam pouted. "We will be in the audience, first row, we promise" Louis said. "What song do you even sing?" Niall asked and Liam shrugged "I don't know yet, I have recorded a few" "Don't worry, Liam, you can do that" Josh assured and Liam smiled to him. "Thanks"

The door opened and Paul got in. None of them cared at the moment if the man knew that they were dating. He knew about Liam and Zayn since he had caught them, but Louis and Harry were sure they were good at hiding when they got in item. And Niall and Josh didn't care at all where they were and who saw them kissing.

"Does that mean what I think it means?" Paul asked and looked to the three couples infront of him. "Depends on what you think" Louis shrugged. "I knew about Liam and Zayn and I suspected Louis and Harry too but Niall and Josh?" Paul asked surprised and raised one eyebrow. "Yep" Niall said and pecked Josh's cheek.

Paul sighed and stared at them for a moment. "Don't tell management" He said before he turned around and let the door fall shut leaving six laughing boys behind.


	28. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the one where the boys are 3 months before the end of tour and Louis is trying to hide his feelings for Harry so he keeps to himself that Eleanor is a beard. Niall has bulemia. Zayn fucks Liam and is dating Perrie. Liam is being offered to go solo and Harry starts selfharming.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the story,  
> Thank you so much for reading, for commenting and giving kudos! :)

It was hard for them to say goodbye at the airport the next day but eventually they had to get to their gates. "We'll stay in contact" Louis assured as he was the first one who had to leave. "Of course we will" Niall said as they hugged. Louis hugged Liam and Zayn quietly. "Curly" Louis whispered as he pressed himself into his boyfriend's chest. "We'll see each other next week for the trip to Disneyland, it's not long" Louis tried to make himself feel better "But it is, seven nights alone" Harry pouted. "Climb into your Mom's bed" Louis suggested and Harry chuckled.

"Last call for flight 243 to Doncaster" The voice announced. Louis pressed a kiss to Harry's lips before he waved to the others once more and left with his backbag to the gate.

 

"Today Harry is coming over, right?" Daisy asked excited and Louis nodded. "Yes, that's why you need to help me finish these cookies so we can eat them on our way to Disneyland" Phoebe laughed "Ok" "So are we going to fly to London?" "Yes, we will stay the next night in Harry's and mine's flat and then we will fly back home the next day" "Amazing" The twins cheered.

The kitchen looked like a mess and so did all three of them. Jay was working and the other girls were out. It was 10am now and Harry should be here any moment. At 1pm their flight to London was leaving and they had yet to clean the kitchen and themselves before they would be able to leave.

"I think next time we should wait for Harry before we bake" Daisy said. "Yes, I think that would be a great idea" Louis agreed right before the bell rang. Before Louis could react, the two girls were running towards the door. He tried to clean himself with the towel as good as possible but he failed.

"Harry we made cookies" Phoebe said excited and Harry chuckled as he entered the kitchen. Louis smiled as their eyes met. Harry had Dasiy in his arms and Poebe was holding on, on his back. "Hey" Louis smiled. "Hey Lou" He let the girls climb off of him. "Is it save to hug you?" He chuckled and walked closer to Louis. "Depends on" Louis teased. "Shush, your sisters are here" Harry laughed. Louis nodded while Harry wiped some cookie dough off his cheek. "Can you just hug me now?" Louis pouted and chuckled while Harry embraced him in a hug.

"I missed you" Louis said as he nuzzled his head closer into Harry's neck. "I missed you too babe" They pulled back a bit to peck each others lips. "Stop making out, we need to clean the kitchen or the plane will take off without us" The twins complained.

 

"This is awsome" The twins ran infront of them as they walked into the theme park. "Don't run too far" Louis called after them as Harry's arm slung around him so it rested on his waist. "Can we go to the princess castle first?" Phoebe asked. "Yes we can" Louis said. A couple people walked by and Harry took his arm back to himself so it was swinging with every step next himself. The four saw the big castle infront of them but it was still a little to walk. "You are my princess Curly" Louis said quiet and Harry chuckled. "Then you are my prince charming" Harry said while their fingers lightly brushed against each other between their bodies.

 

Since the beginning of the next week when it got puplic that Liam had a solo performance the talking couldn't be stopped about whether 1D was going to break up or not, but the boys happily denied every question about it.

Niall was the last one sitting down next to Zayn on Liam's big day. "Hey, am I too late?" He asked excited. "No" Zayn said nervous. "I'm so angry that I can't go and see him" Zayn groaned. "He'll be fine" Louis patted Zayn's shoulder as all four boys phone buzzed. "Liam posted in our group that he is going to die" Niall informed.

Liam was sitting backstage with Paul next to him. "You'll be fine Liam" He said. "No, not without my boys" "They are in the front row, they are going to be close" "But not with me on the stage" Paul sighed. "You can do that" He patted Liam's shoulder as he lead him to the curtains. He looked down and saw his boy's like promised in the front row.

He catched Zayn's eyes and smiled as Zayn gave him a thumbs up. Liam heard his name announce and got shoved on stage by Paul with a quick "good luck"

The boys cheered the loudest and yelled 'I love you's' to get him loosen up but more than a nervous and awkward smile they didn't get back. "He seems so scared" Zayn said worried. "He'll be fine" Harry tried to calm Zayn down even though he was just as nervous and worried for the boy on stage. "He made it through the audition, he can sing one song without us" Niall tried to calm everyone down and himself.

The music started playing and Liam started to sing, he was unsure and kept looking to his boys, hoping they could do something. "I'm done" Zayn said and got up. "Where are you going?" Louis asked surprised "On stage!" Zayn said and made his way to the backstage doors, the others followed him without hesitation.

The boys pushed past the security and walked on stage. Zayn laid his arm around Liam and Niall who stood next to him and Louis and Harry did the same on the other side of Liam, so the boy was in the middle of them.

At the end of the song all five boys bowed like they used to on the concert and the curtains fell shut infront of them, while the auplausse didn't die down one bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the end is alright, I'm always bad with finding the right end.  
> If there is anything that is open from the story please let me know! :)


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